Tin Soldiers
by krackensan
Summary: Duo has a great job, and it seems like his life is on the right track, but he can't help dreaming about a certain someone from the war. When he takes a job with Quatre Winner, he finds his dreams suddenly becoming a reality.Yaoi. 1x2
1. Got Ya

Tin Soldiers Kracken Chapter 1:Got Ya Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence. The sun shown in my face, bright and obnoxious. I struggled against it's prying rays, squeezing my eyes shut and slamming my pillow over my head. It's the pillow that reminded me of last night. It had HIS scent on it, cheap liquor and stale cigarettes. Shit! I pried an eye open and peeked out from under the concealment of the pillow. The space next to me was empty, blankets thrown back, and an impression of a body still there for me to see. The nightstand beyond that, next to that side of the bed, held two empty glasses, an ashtray full of cigarette butts, and a bottle of something .

"You, Duo Maxwell, are a first class idiot!" I said to myself viciously as I did a push up off the bed and tossed the pillow away from me.

I stalked to the long, narrow, window, threw back the half open curtain, and leaned against the sun warmed surface to stare down at the busy street below. I didn't care that I was nude. I didn't care that everyone and God could see me. All I cared about was seeing that red sports car out front gone. It was and I sighed with relief as I thrust away from the glass and glared at nothing very hard.

That glaring at nothing didn't last long and I was forced to confront the leftovers of having made a very bad decision. There were three condoms on the floor, all of them used. A tube of lube was hiding among the sheets. An undershirt, not mine, was tumbled over a chair. The room smelled of HIM, was claimed by him through these discarded items of his conquest and the pain in my backside. He had left, without a word, grinning that grin of his, probably, and eager to tell someone at work how he had ... I grunted, yeah, right! How many people could he tell that he had humped Duo Maxwell, Preventer extraordinaire? I could think of three. One of them wouldn't care and the other two would be disappointed in me, right before they smashed HIS face in for talking trash about me.

I'm not a slut, by the way, so stop thinking that right now. I'm picky as hell and probably not many people even know I'm gay. I AM a guy though, and for guys, losing one's virginity is something you do early on and are damned proud of it when you do. Sometimes, I do take a roll in the sheets when someone strikes my fancy and I can't say I'm sorry about any of them. This guy though... He was WRONG, yeah, spelled with capitol letters, and I couldn't help thinking that last night was going to come back to bite me in the ass.

Why was he so wrong, you ask? I don't have to think hard about that one. Making out with your partner on a stake out is a standard joke on any force, but no one really expects two professionals to do it. I guess I wasn't very professional last night, and neither was he.

I want to completely blame myself, but it's hard. Gerald Filmore is sex on two legs. Strong...big... dark.. chiseled chin... steely blue eyes... rakish, dark hair... shoulders that are wide and rounded... an ass that... well, you get the picture. A wet dream's dream, basically. When a guy like that breathes sweet stuff into your ear and sticks a hand down your pants, you suddenly forget all about that 'professionals don't do that sort of thing' business. At least we just groped until our shift was over and I took him back to my place. Bad boy, Duo, right? Yeah, well, I guess my brain wasn't the one doing the thinking last night.

I cleaned up, threw everything into the garbage, including his undershirt. I did find a note then, tucked under the ashtray. I won't tell you what it said. It was pretty damned crude and appreciative of a certain skill I had prided myself on up until that moment. He made it seem like a prostitute's trick and I wondered if I could ever do it again without remembering how sick to my stomach I felt just then.

No, Duo Maxwell did not feel very proud of himself at the moment and it was hard for me to take the vid clip out of the drawer where I had guiltily placed it last night. I caressed it, grimacing.

"Sorry about that, Heero," I said softly, "but you didn't need to see that last night"  
I took the vid clip and set it at the center of the tiny table that was tucked into my bare bones kitchen. There were two chairs there, but the second one never seemed to get any use. I made a strong pot of coffee, slathered a copious amount of cream cheese onto a stale bagel, and then, steaming coffee mug in one hand and a plate of breakfast in the other, I sat in front of the vid clip. It was hard to turn it on. I felt guilt and even a bit of fear, as if the image contained within the clip was going to judge me and judge me harshly. Stupid, isn't it? Okay, you're thinking 'crazy', I know, but it gets even better. Wait for it.

I finally turn on the clip, my hands sweaty, and up pops the three D image of Heero Yuy. I remember the day I took it. Stealthy. That's my middle name when I want it to be. I snuck up on that perfect, hunk of teenager, the one I had been, at the time, tossing and turning in my Gundam in absolute lust and love over, and found him... well, he'd been sitting on the foot of his Gundam looking, for once, absolutely calm and relaxed. Dressed in that tight spandex, and wearing that awful green shirt, he had been leaning forward, chin on fist, elbow propped on one knee, staring off into space with those deep, intense, blue eyes. He had looked as if he were thinking about something... maybe thinking of something pleasant for once. Handsome. My dreams in the flesh. I couldn't resist. I snapped the photo and here it is, still my most prized possession. Heh, that doesn't sound so crazy, but, like I said, it gets better.

I'm twenty two now, a career man. Sure I wandered aimlessly for awhile, working stupid jobs, lacking any real goal or motivation, until Sally Po called me up one day and told me that she had a sticky situation on her hands that required the skills of a certain Duo Maxwell. I completed the mission without a hitch and found my calling at the same time. I have a reputation now, .'The Can Do MAN'. Think it's impossible? Maxwell will get it done for you. Yet... here I was, doing what I did every morning... hell, doing what I did every night too after work, talking and having a weird relationship with a vid clip with the image of Heero Yuy on it.

Freaked now? Tell me about it! I'm twenty two. He's fifteen in the picture. How sick is THAT? Knowing he wasn't fifteen now, where ever he was, didn't make me feel any more comfortable about it, let me tell you. Sometimes, I consider destroying the thing and getting a pet, or a real live in lover, but it's always only for a second, before horror sets in at the very thought of never seeing those intense eyes again, never seeing that soft expression, never seeing the small upturn of one side of his mouth... Yeah, I've had years to stare at the thing. I probably know every zit and mole on his body by now.

"Morning, Heero." I toast the picture with my coffee mug and make small talk, No, not about last night. I don't want him to know about that, remember? He listens, just like he always does, and that ghost of a smile looks like it's for me. I feel better, just like I always do, and I come away from the conversation feeling like I can handle one more day of catching the bad guys. I even think I can face a guy I'd rather never see again.

Finishing my breakfast, I throw the dishes into the sink, get dressed, tighten my tie, grab my car keys, and then turn off the vid clip, but not without a, "See you tonight, honey."

Go ahead and say it. Who can blame you... but, ya know, who can blame me? I've had a pretty screwed up life. Everyone I ever cared about died and I can't seem to find anyone to hang around me for long now, least not anyone I care a lot about. Why not have a little vid clip teddy bear that never ages, never gets worn out, or loses it's fuzz? Okay, I could have said lover, but I won't go that far. I'll fool myself instead and say 'teddy bear'. I feel less like a loser then... though it's splitting hairs pretty damned close.

I take a last look around the apartment, wrinkle my nose at the smell of HIM still lingering in the air, and then go, but not without the same regret I have every day; that I don't dare take Heero with me and leave that damned vid clip on all the time. That WOULD be just plain nuts , so I just won't go there.

"Long haired freak!"

'Asshole!"

"Freak!"

"Is that all ya got!"

"Just give me the damned two dollars!"

"Just give me the damned hot dog!"

We faced off just like we did every day at lunch time, me and Freddy the street vendor; gnarly goat of a Hungarian in a pair of shorts and a sweaty, greasy undershirt. His one good eye squinted at me sourly as he slapped together my hot dog; chili, relish, ketchup, and hot sauce. He hated homosexuals and he knew I was one, but he also grudgingly liked me as a person, too, and he couldn't quite reconcile the two, so we had our little ritual exchange where I got a hot dog and he got to listen to a few of my jokes and have my big grin brighten his day a bit. The barrage of insults was just to keep everything in the manhood department kosher for poor old Freddy. He didn't really mean them... at least I didn't think he did.

As I turned away and followed my bemused companion, who had witnessed Freddy's brand of 'customer service' before, to a nearby park bench, we were shadowed by nervous security guards. My companion was not just anyone, and he was definitely not the type of man to grab a hot dog from some dubious merchant on the side of the road. Quatre Winner was my friend though and he knew that having lunch with me meant grabbing a bite on the cheap. I made good money, but he knew I was saving for better things.  
Ah, you're confused aren't you? Did you think I was satisfied with my life? Rewind to me getting up after having been screwed stupid by a guy I shouldn't have touched with a ten foot 'bad idea' stick. Did you also miss the part where my main squeeze is a vid clip of a fifteen year old crush? Yeah, things have not been going well on the domestic side of my life. I had been saving up with some wild idea of retiring obscenely young and lounging on an Earth beach in front of my own bungalow... Okay, I'm young enough to still have wild, 'panty raid' and 'toga party' type dreams, so sue me. Now, especially after reflecting on last night, I had a different dream entirely... and no, I'm not going to tell you what it is yet. I'm still trying to figure out a good way to explain it so that it doesn't sound completely crazy. That may take awhile.

Quatre sat primly on the bench and stared with big blue eyes at my hot dog. "That looks..."

"Terrible, I know, and it would probably taste awful to you, too," I said with a grin, "But I happen to think it is heaven on a bun."

"It's going to eat out your stomach," Quatre warned jokingly and then looked around him. "I don't know why you insist on getting food from that man and sitting here. It's not very relaxing."

I glanced around. I really hadn't noticed the area. It had a few trees and a few benches, but it was too close to the busy road and the choking fumes to really be pleasant. "We can go back to my office, if you want to?" I suggested.

Quatre smiled. "No, this is fine," he replied politely.

He looked out of place in his expensive suit. His blonde hair was still bright and his eyes were still wide and innocent looking, but his face had settled into more masculine planes and angles, and his lips were usually set in a firmer line now. He was the head of the Winner family, its only male heir, and he had an important position in Relena Peacecraft's government. He was also an advisor to the Preventers and he had his own office in the organization's main complex. It was hard to square that important man with the one that I knew only as the pilot of Sandrock and my war time buddy. Sitting beside me, I could smell some overly spicy cologne on Quatre and I could see a pimple just under his chin. Defects; the things that made him a man just like me. I always looked for them when we hooked up for one reason or another, so that I wouldn't start seeing him as someone I didn't belong with. When you're a street child like me, from the slums of L2, thoughts like that come easy and often.

"Well?" I prompted when Quatre seemed reluctant to go on. There was a code, I suppose, that was uniquely a part of where Quatre had been raised. Polite conversation first, a meal second, and then business last. I only had an hour for lunch. "What did you want to see me about, Qat?"

Quatre blushed and clasped his hands together as if he were about to offer a prayer. "I wish that I could have waited until a more appropriate time to ask you this, but I have associates eager for your answer."

I set aside my hot dog, put hands behind my head, sinking back into the bench in a relaxed pose. I grinned at Quatre. "Shoot."

"This would be outside of Preventer channels," Quatre began.

"Of course," I replied. "Otherwise we'd be in Sally Po's office talking about this. What I want to know is, why are we out here on a park bench talking about it? It can't be anything top secret, right?"

Quatre smiled and shook his head, picking at something on his sleeve. "I have a job for you."

"Yes?"

"It's on Earth," Quatre said, and yes, I was hoping with every molecule in my body for him to say, "In a sleepy coastal city near the Sanq Kingdom." It took me a moment to realize that he HAD said it. Of course, it was just too much to hope that a bungalow on the beach would come with the job, but he was close. "I can provide you with an apartment, a vehicle, and a modest expense account."

"Near the water?" I asked. Okay, so I dared to be pushy when it came to having my dreams fulfilled.

"If you like, it can be on the beach," Quatre replied agreeably. He looked mildly amused. "I didn't know that you liked the water."

"That time that I spent floating around on Howard's barge on Earth, gave me a chance to fall in love with the ocean," I told him. "I always wanted to go back and be near it again."

Quatre chuckled. "Not on it? I can get you a house boat."

I shook my head, no, and laughed as well. "I like my feet on land when I go to sleep, thank you very much. The shore is close enough to the water for me."

Quatre nodded, understanding that, but then he said, "Well, would you like to know what the job is now?"

"I've been waiting, Qat."

Quatre chuckled and loosened his tie as he turned and leaned close to me. It looked like we were sharing a lover's secret. His guards were probably getting nervous and embarrassed.

"I'm forming up an elite group," Quatre said. "I have experts in all fields training them. Well, in all fields, but one, and that's really the most important one if they are to be effective."

"Infiltration," I guessed and was intrigued. "Why not just use the Preventers?"

Quatre looked troubled and he glanced around us to make certain that no one was close enough to hear. "The Preventers has become a large, diverse organization. Security breaches have become common. There are groups that still don't acknowledge the peace or Relena Peacecraft's leadership. We've been able to police them with the Preventer forces, but some of them have gone deeply underground and they have been strangely one step ahead of us."

"So, you're going outside of regular channels to do this," I guessed and felt a thrill. I had always hated regimented authority. Though I had basked in my position with the Preventers as resident Gundam Hero slash agent extraordinaire, the day to day grind, and being forced to wear a uniform, had bothered me a lot.

"I'm your man!" I said without hesitation. "When do I start and do you have plane tickets ready?"

Quatre blinked, but he then nodded and looked sympathetic. "I suspected that you weren't very happy here, Duo. Perhaps this will give you a chance to meet new people and to..." yeah, he went on and on about starting a new life and meeting new people, but my main reaction was, 'Oh, shit! He saw me go home with Gerald Filmore!' I wanted to sink through the wooden slats of the bench. I know my face was red. Quatre was so cultured and so... so... well, above screwing people for the sake of screwing. I was too, for the most part, but I'm sure he wasn't aware of that after seeing me sniffing after Agent Loser.

"Duo...," Quatre said gently and I came back to myself to see him very close, his spicy cologne overwhelming me and his big blue eyes so soft and warm right before my face. He patted my hand. "We all make mistakes."

You might think that was pretty damned condescending, or that he was treating me like a bad little kid, but, well, hell, I deserved it and then some. "I'm not making THAT one again, " I said and he nodded, relieved. We understood each other. Quatre was a good friend.

Quatre handed me a book of tickets, an envelope with instructions, and a credit card. "Everything is on the Winner account, but," He waggled his finger warningly, even though he softened it with a joking smile, "Don't take advantage of it, all right? Be at your destination by the end of this month."

"Will do!" I said as I grabbed the things from him and picked up my hot dog. I checked my watch and stood up. "Gotta go. Lunch time's almost over. Thanks for giving me the job, Quatre."

"You're one of the best," Quatre replied as he stood as well and smoothed his clothes with slim hands. "Who else would I ask to train people who I want to be the best as well?"

"Aw, shucks!" I laughed, "You're going to give me a swelled head."

"But it's the truth," Quatre replied with a laugh, "and you know it too, Duo."

I grinned, "Yeah, I do," I replied cheekily. "See ya around, Qat."

"Yes, you will," Quatre replied, as if it were a solemn promise, and turned to join his nervous guards.

A new life, I thought to myself in amazement, delivered nice and neat in under an hour. How quickly life changed, but I was all too familiar with that. My life had been full of drastic changes from birth.

"We're going to the beach, Heero," I whispered. "I hope you like sand and surf." Don't look at me that way! I was joking! I don't really think vid clips have personal preferences, okay?

A place on the beach. Quatre had just given me one of my dreams on a silver platter. Now I didn't have to keep saving my money to pay for that other life changing idea I had come up with. What? You want to know what it was? Hm, well, it's seems pretty stupid now that I think about it, but what young guy doesn't dream of a penthouse on L4 with a view of the most decadent fun spot on Earth or in Space? Hey, I am a red blooded, hormone overloaded young guy. Partying every night, and seeing an endless stream of scantily clad guys in the spas and resorts, just seemed a pretty damned good retirement idea to me. I guess I have to put both feet on the ground though and settle for a working version of that dream based in reality, still, not too shabby, not too shabby at all. 


	2. Sunshine

Tin Soldiers Series Sequel to Got Ya Sunshine

Well, it wasn't everything that I had dreamed about, and it really wasn't what I had expected from Quatre Winner: a plain, one room bungalow with a ceiling fan, a kitchenette, a narrow bathroom with a tiny tub, and a queen sized bed. As I flung my bags on the bed though, making the rock hard mattress hardly bounce, and turned to swing open a sizable picture window with a view of the sun soaked beach, I shrugged mentally and smiled. Bubbling hot tubs and thong clad man servants waiting on my every pleasure had been a pretty big dream to fulfill any way. It was stupid of me, I thought, to feel disappointed.

A sea breeze smelling of salt and surf washed over me. I unzipped my jacket and flung it aside. I was still dressed for the cooler Northern climate. I had grown up on L2, used to faulty climate controls that had kept the temperature of the colony scorching hot and bone dry. I felt almost guilty for that feeling of 'familiar' that washed over me with the hot breeze. L2 was a place that I wanted to forget and a place I had determined never to visit again, even mentally.

I turned back to the room. I was having my few belongings shipped to me. I didn't like the atmosphere of 'just visiting' being in a place that was now my home. I opened my bags and dragged out my clothes and my toiletries. I filled the closets and the drawers of a plain dresser with my clothes, put shampoo, soap, and razor in the bathroom, and set out my hairbrush, hair ties, car keys, and pass cards. It helped, but the room still felt empty of 'Duo Maxwell'. It didn't take me long to figure out why.

A few minutes later, I was sitting in the one chair and carefully putting the vid clip of Heero on the dresser. I turned it on, smiled, and sat back in my chair, bare feet coming up to rest on top of the dresser while I tilted back the chair and made a lounger out of it. Heero's thoughtful face stared back at me. I imagined that he was frowning, critical of my improvised decor.

My underwear, jeans, and socks lay on the floor, draped over a lamp shade, and littered the top of the dresser. A few fast food boxes and a tower of empty soda cans would complete the decor, I thought, but I had to save that part for later. The room felt more comfortable, a little broken in, and not like it belonged to someone else now. I had 'marked' my territory. The thought made me snicker, but it did sum up how I felt just then.

Bare assed naked from the waist down, I lounged in front of my best friend, Heero Yuy, the vid clip, and congratulated myself on trashing my room. I really needed to get a life. A new home, a new job, and a chance to meet new people, I had high hopes that it would add up to a better life for Duo Maxwell. It might even save me a trip to a shrink, or a trip to the home for Gundam pilots who thought that three dimensional holograms were friends. It was a lot easier to ignore not having a life when I had been trying to score one for the colonists during the war. It had even been easy while I had learned to be a Preventer, burying myself in procedure manuals and taking every mission that had come my way. As things had slowed down to routine though, it had become harder and harder to ignore that things, personally, weren't any better for me than they had been at the start of the war. I still battled the bad guys, I still had friends who put up with me, and I was still all alone when I closed my door at the end of the day.

Leave it to Quatre to see the warning signs that I had done everything in my power to avoid seeing. It probably sounds stupid, even strange, but he sometimes came off like my father, or what I imagined a father would be like, since I really didn't have any personal experience with one of my own. Quatre looked out for me, was happy and proud of my accomplishments, and wasn't shy of telling me when I was wrong. I should have wanted him to be my lover, but, aside from his being with Trowa, I can honestly say that Quatre wasn't even a blip on my sexual radar scope. For some reason, the caring, beautiful, rich man didn't appeal to me. In fact, even contemplating sex with the blonde heir of the Winner dynasty seemed as wrong to me as thinking about sleeping with a brother.

"No," I said aloud to the bare bones room, as if it cared, "I'd rather bend over for a stupid fuck of a partner who wouldn't give a rat's ass if a truck ran over me the next morning."

Do you think I'm being hard on poor Gerald? Maybe I should tell you what it had said in the note that he had left me. Do you want to know? Are you sure? I guess I can tell you, now that it doesn't make me angry enough to want to hunt the guy down and give him a sex change with a rusty butter knife. The note had said, 'Thanks for the great fuck and the really top dollar blow job, buddy. Nobody ever sucked me off like that for less than a fifty.' Nice, right? I can sure pick 'em, can't I?

Thinking about the episode again made me feel suddenly hot with nausea and shame. I slapped the control on the vid clip and carefully placed it in a drawer. Heero didn't need to see how much I hated myself just then. Standing up, I snagged my bathing suit, ignored the fact that I was as white as a ghost from being out of the sun for a long time, and put it on. I needed to get out of there, clear my memory of dates gone horribly wrong, take in the nice scenery, and get my head straight again. The past was the past and kicking myself in the balls over it repeatedly wasn't going to undo it. Quatre had given me a second chance. I wasn't going to blow it with another Gerald Filmore. As far as those type of people were concerned, Duo Maxwell was closed for business, opening again only when Mr. Right, whoever he was, showed up.

Getting out into the sunshine, and exploring my surroundings, didn't last long, though. I was having major jet lag and it caught up with me just when I spotted a chikee hut with a bartender and a stool with a fine view of a men's volleyball game on the sand. Suddenly, the sight of bronzed young studs leaping and diving for a white ball didn't seem as appealing as it should have been. My eyes drooped, I felt dizzy, and my stomach informed me in no uncertain terms that a drink was the last thing it wanted. As I walked up to the bar, the smell of mixed, tropical drinks brought on a bought of nausea.

"Got any snacks?" I wondered.

The bartender, an older man in an outfit that seemed more suitable for a country club than a beach side bar, frowned and gave me a slow appraisal. He put out a bowl of salty peanuts and dried fruit reluctantly. I scooped up a large handful, winked at him, and said "Thanks," as I walked away. An annoyed sniff followed me and I kept grinning as I popped peanuts into my mouth. I almost felt like I was on the streets of L2 again and expertly filching food from street vendors.

Mouth full of peanuts, and a grin on my face, I must have looked like a cheerful lunatic as I ran straight into a very solid chest. Starting back, I spit up some of the peanuts and then, with the usual Maxwell luck, I tried to apologize around the remainder in my mouth and accidentally sucked one into my windpipe.

When you suddenly feel something jam into the place where you draw in air to live, you stop thinking in any coherent manner. All I could do was bend over and hack, trying to dislodge the peanut. The guy I had bumped into, came up with a better plan. I felt his strong arms grab me from behind and his fist thrust upwards into my diaphragm. The peanut, and everything else I had in my mouth, went flying and splattered on the sand. Shit! Could it get any more embarrassing?

Apparently it could. As I choked and tried to draw in air, I turned to thank my rescuer and found myself facing a bronzed, toned, Adonis in a thong bathing suit. He had sun bleached ringlets for hair that fell to his shoulders, light blue eyes, and a drop dead, gorgeous smile that didn't seem to notice that I was wide eyed and gaping at him like a complete dumb shit. I can honestly say that I've never seen a heterosexual man in a thong bathing suit. I didn't think to second guess the part of my brain that cheered.

"Are you all right?" Adonis asked in a voice that was as beautiful as the rest of him.

I scrambled for my brain, found it, swallowed hard, and then managed a lame reply. "Uh... yeah... uh... thanks."

Adonis reached out, fascinated, and lightly touched my braid. "Jeez, that's so long, dude!"

'Dude'? Okay, that word really turned off part of my brain. Who the hell said 'dude' any more? Unfortunately, it wasn't my brain that was doing the thinking. The part of me that was, didn't give a damned what Adonis said as long as he kept standing there and looking like the ultimate wet dream.

I'm not a slut! Stop thinking that right now. I wasn't about to jump in the sack with 'Sunshine' there. Remember? Closed for business. I did intend to spent some quality, 'ogling eye candy' time with him though. Who knows, maybe he might even turn out to be someone special? The intelligent part of my brain rolled it's eyes. Me, and the part of me that was in the pilot seat, ignored it.

"I don't feel so good," I said, and really didn't, so most of it wasn't an act. "Do you mind walking me back to my place?"

"Sure," he replied good naturedly and granted me another blinding, sparkling smile.

I know, I know! Don't invite people to the homestead unless you're expecting him to help you plow the north forty. Like that? I had heard it from an old soldier during the war. I keep it for special occasions. That guy had been full of sayings like that, but that one in particularly had stuck in my mind. Well, I wasn't going to invite Adonis in, so stop worrying. I just needed time to try and recover from a incredibly bad first impression so that I could ask if we could hang out together at another time.

So, I wiped the peanuts off of my face and proceeded to dazzle the guy with the old Maxwell charm. He was reeled in; hook, line, and sinker. By the time we reached my bungalow, we were laughing together and well on our way to... well, I could say a meeting of the minds, but minds didn't have much to do with it.

I stopped at the door and turned with a definite body signal that things were not going any further. "Thanks again for saving my life," I told Adonis. "If you don't mind, I'd like to get together again soon and get to know you better."

Adonis grinned and looked me slowly up and down with obvious lust. "Aren't you forgetting something?" he almost purred it.

I blinked, faking ignorance. "What?"

"Well...," Adonis drawled, "You could thank me with a kiss?"

I wasn't going to do it. I even opened my mouth to tell him so. Adonis took advantage of that and leaned forward to jam his tongue inside. We were suddenly lip locking, french kissing, my tonsils being treated like the main course at a meal. Hands cupped my ass and squeezed while a bulging crotch ground against my own.

"Maxwell! Maxwell!" The little voice in my head wanted my attention. It was very hard to give it. "Bad idea! Bad idea!" It just kept repeating itself in a mournful wail while the lower part of my body was shouting, almost drowning it out, "Oh, yeah! Let's do it!"

When Adonis leaned and began fumbling at the doorknob while continuing to suck at my mouth and grind against me, I had this sudden mental image of Gerald Filmore, his cheap cigarettes, cheaper whisky, and his used condoms on my floor. The voice in my head was playing dirty now, but it had the desired effect. I put my hands on Adonis's solid chest and pushed him back. Our lips parted with a wet sound and I looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry about that, but you're a little hard to resist," I said with a smile I hoped would excuse giving the man a case of blue balls. "I'm not really looking for anything intimate right now, okay? We'll hook up later, have a few drinks, talk, and get to know each other better."

Adonis turned ugly in oh-point-one second. His voice suddenly wasn't so beautiful as he snarled, "Look, you cock tease! You owe me! If you think I'm going to just walk away now..."

I glared. He didn't frighten me. I'm a trained killer, remember? Adonis was just an over stimulated beach bum. "That's exactly what you're going to do," I told him, "That is, if you know what's good for you."

He almost decked me. He was fast. Luckily, I was faster. I simply turned my body and his blow passed by me and he stumbled. Having my back to a door, was a bad situation, so I moved, intending to give myself some open sand so I could proceed to kick his butt. I never got the chance.

Adonis had been about to lunge after me, but a hand had suddenly closed on his throat while another had grabbed his hair. Adonis's eyes bulged and he struggled to knock away the hands. He didn't have any success. Those hands were stronger than the hands of most people. I knew from experience that they could bend steel. As I looked on, stunned by recognition, Heero Yuy pulled Adonis around and then shoved him towards the beach. Adonis went down in an ungainly sprawl on the sand, scrambled back up, and then stood like a stunned deer staring into Heero's intense, blue eyes.

"Go away," Heero said in a low, dangerous voice that made me shiver.

Adonis looked ready to pee himself. He didn't hesitate to turn tail and run, sand flying as he disappeared into the dunes. I stared after him, swallowed hard, and then looked at Heero. The man was glaring back at me and said, as if he were tasting something unpleasant, "Quatre shouldn't have given you the job."

I blinked. "Excuse me?" the retort was automatic, but my mind wasn't on it. Instead, I was staring at Heero and trying to adjust the mental picture of him, that I had carried with me since the war, to match this older, self assured man standing in front of me.

Heero was taller and broader. The lanky youth that had been all whip cord muscles, had filled out and his face had lost it's little boy, sullen poutiness. He was still handsome, though, and he still had that dark, intense gaze that I remembered, the one that spelled 'killer' as clear as mile high writing in the sky. He was wearing blue jeans, a button down shirt, and black, steel toed boots. He didn't look as if he had been casually strolling the beach. "You were always breaking the rules," Heero continued in biting tones, "but you were capable of carrying out your missions. This 'incident' is proof that you are not the person that you were during the war and that your abilities have suffered and, perhaps, atrophied during your days of peace. I intend to inform Quatre that you were unable to subdue one untrained individual. He will agree with me."

Okay, I'll admit that the Heero I had known during the war hadn't been the most personable guy, but I had it in my mind that we had been at least uneasy friends. Hell, he even let me see him laugh a few times! Having that vid clip had served to blur the memory of the real Heero even further. My vid clip Heero listened when I talked and never complained. He had certainly never called me unfit for duty!

I could have gotten mad and kicked Heero's ass, but I was still too stunned, too off balance by having run into him in the first place. My mind was scrambling, trying to switch gears and accept a real Heero when fantasy Heero had been my constant companion and comfort for years. Heero made a noise and old times washed over me. "Hn," and then he was turning on his heel and walking away, the set of his shoulders managing to express his contempt. Whatever he had come to see me about, I thought, must have gotten stuck in a mental round file as soon as he had decided that Duo Maxwell couldn't cut it.

"Fuck!" I said it aloud. I don't know if Heero heard me. He was already far down the beach.

My hands turned into fists suddenly and my mind decided that it had been shocked long enough. Now it was deciding to get angry in a major way. I turned and stormed into my home. Jet lag was overwhelming me, but my emotions were pumping enough adrenalin to keep me charged despite it. I grabbed the phone and dialed Quatre's number. As I waited to pass through the many channels that stood between me and having a phone conversation with the heir of the Winner fortune, I turned Heero's vid clip on and placed it carefully on the dresser top. I stared at it morosely as I answered question after question put to me by Quatre's staff.

Heero looked so 'understanding', thoughtful', and 'knowing' in that picture. I turned it this way and that, looking at it from all angles, and then set it before me close enough where I could look into the vid clips eyes. They were dark, brooding, intense, but, in that picture, there wasn't the contempt, the dislike, and the anger that I had seen in the present time Heero Yuy's eyes. There was something going on beside me not taking that beach bum out, I thought, any idiot would have known that I had been positioning myself for an attack and Heero wasn't an idiot.

"How the hell did I piss him off in the few seconds we were together?" I wondered aloud to my empty home. "Or maybe he has some grudge against me from the war? What the hell, Heero?"

"Duo, is that you?" Quatre's voice said in my ear.

I started. I had the visual off and I kept it that way. I didn't want Quatre seeing how off balance I was.

"Did Heero find you all right? I sent him to brief you and to give you your schedule," Quatre continued.

"Yeah, he was here," I replied, "and I guess I make lousy first impressions because he's on his way back to you to tell you that I'm a loser and to cut me loose."

Quatre gave a long suffering sigh. "I think a meeting is in order sooner than I had planned. Don't worry, Duo, Heero isn't going to change my mind about having you on my staff. I know your record."

That was a relief. I rubbed between my eyes, feeling a headache coming on. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Qat. If you don't mind, I need at least a day of down time to adjust to the time and then I'll be ready to sit through any tedious meeting that you can cook up, all right?"

Quatre chuckled, but then said thoughtfully. "Heero is probably suffering from jet lag as well. It might account for any irritability he might have shown towards you."

I thought about that. I wanted to believe it. "Could be," I replied. "I guess we'll find out when we get together later."

"I'll have my staff call you when everything is arranged, "Quatre told me and then added reassuringly, "Don't let Heero rattle you. You were a good team during the war. I think you can be one again."

"I'd like that," I replied and then kicked myself mentally for not being able to stop the 'neediness' in my tone. Quatre asked about my new home and indulged in some small talk, but I could tell that he was anxious to get back to what ever he had been doing before I had interrupted him. We said our goodbyes and then I was left with the soulful eyes of my vid clip Heero and the bitter taste still in my mouth from meeting the real one.  
When exhaustion had dulled my emotions somewhat, I stood up and began to make my way to the bed. A thought brought me up short and I asked myself, feeling a flush of embarrassment and trepidation, 'exactly how much of my little altercation with Adonis had Heero seen?' If he'd seen Adonis sticking his tongue in, and my dubious 'objection' , then it was possible that Heero now knew that I was gay, if he hadn't guessed before.  
Can life get any better for me? Not only is the real Heero NOT like my dream Heero, but he hates me for being gay! Okay, so I was guessing here, but you can understand why I would come to that conclusion?

I turned and looked back at the vid clip of Heero. He was still there. I had left him on, ageless and always ready to listen. It hurt, it really did, and on so many different levels too. I wondered aloud, with a sick twisting in my gut, "What the hell am I going to say to you when I see you next?" 


	3. Stir It Up

Tin Soldier's Series Sequel to Sunshine Stir It Up So, I had my day of doing nothing. I was young, it was a beach, there were scantily clad bodies everywhere, and everything went on the Winner account. It should have been a recipe for instant bliss. Instead, I found myself haunting my new home, working on my mountain of empty soda cans, and seeing how many places delivered to a bungalow on the beach. I interspersed that with sleeping and staring off into space thinking about... well, you know who. I couldn't get Mr. Sullen's blue eyes out of my thoughts no matter how distracting the scenery outside my window was.

"You are such a dumbshit!" I pinched my arm hard to punish my own stupidity.

Pacing the small living space in my shorts, and a tee shirt that barely covered me to the navel, I stopped in front of the one mirror; a full length job nailed to the back of the bathroom door. I glared at my reflection. Long legs, wiry build, nice, rounded shoulders, an ass that wouldn't quit, and a face... well, I didn't have to be vain about that. Enough people have told me that I'm pretty damned handsome.

"I can have anyone." Yeah, I was talking to the room. Can we say, 'Duo Maxwell has issues?' Well, you spend a lot of time alone and see if you don't start talking to your four walls too. What was stupid about that, though, was that I didn't have to be alone. I'm funny. I'm charming. I'm handsome. I'm a good friend. I'm the kind of guy anyone would want to hang out with. If I had wanted it, I could have had a long list of parties and get togethers on my itinerary. Like that word? 'Itinerary?' I picked it up from Quatre. Of course, I had to look it up to see what it meant. Why can't the guy just say 'calendar' or 'schedule' like everyone else? Oh, okay, I'm straying from the subject. Let's get back to why my life is so sorry assed lonely. It's pretty simple, really, I'm not just a friendly smile and a good hand shaker. I'm an ex terrorist. I've killed more people than you probably see on a city street in a week. If you don't think that leaves some marks, or that it doesn't get you a reputation, I've got news for you! Being introduced as, Mr. Maxwell, one of the Gundam pilots who fought in the war, is almost always followed up by people making a wide space around you and asking about their coats and car keys. Partying with a killer is not usually on anyone's itinerary ... sorry, I just love using that word.

So, my schedule is pretty much open. I get other ex soldiers who want to rub elbows from time to time, but they always want to trade war stories and I try and stay clear of that shit. Then you have freaks who think it's thrilling to be around someone as 'dangerous' as me. I get the' my skin is crawling' feeling pretty quick. I do get people who honestly don't think about the past, and just take me for what I am, but they are pretty few and far between. I laid a couple, made friends out of some more, but I always managed to say or do something, eventually, that made the hair stand up on the heads of those innocent souls. They never stayed around long after that. I can't blame them either. When you think you're friends with a happy go lucky cat, and you suddenly have the wool over your eyes yanked off to reveal the bloody tiger underneath, you tend to start thinking about getting away from the big claws.

So, 'normal' people were out as potential friends. That left only the people I had fought a war with. That carried it's own kind of baggage. We were friends, we had 'get togethers' but we didn't stay together long. Quatre was the one closest to me, with Trowa, of course, being a close second... though, I have to say, what he thinks of me is some kind of deep dark secret, because he hardly talks and he has a smile that could mean just freaking ANYTHING. I used to think it was a 'cat with cream' kind of smile, and who wouldn't be smiling like that if they were getting some on a regular basis with the most important man in space and on Earth? The richest guy anywhere? A guy who really, really loved him? I guess I sort of respected Trowa for not taking advantage of that. He stayed with his circus, doing special assignments for the Preventers only once in awhile. I never saw him do anything flashy money wise. I don't think I could have been that pure. I'd like to think that I had it in me, but... Well, let's not go there. I have enough to think about without examining my morals too. Back to my friends.

Wu Fei is a nice guy, a bit up tight, a bit of a temper, but, on the whole, not a bad guy at all. I used to wonder why the doctors had chosen maladjusted, fifteen year old, homosexuals for Gundam pilots, but, after meeting Wu Fei, my intricate theories on the subject had been blasted into space dust. Wu Fei's a complicated personality and, for awhile, he didn't have eyes for anyone but his Gundam. After we destroyed them, though, he turned into a different kind of guy. He went back to school, became a bit of a scholar, and dabbled in special forces.It did a lot towards getting him at least to the outskirts of 'normal'. That's more than I can say for the rest of us. A circus clown, a Preventer Agent daredevil, and a man who owns just about EVERYTHING don't even flirt with 'normal' I'm afraid.

You're probably thinking, 'What about Heero?', but there is a reason why I left ole' Heero out. I wasn't sure just what he'd been doing all this time. Military ops, most likely, because the guy could never stop from riding the edge during the war. I couldn't see him punching a nine to five clock, selling insurance, now. A guy like that wouldn't have jumped at Quatre's offer anyway.

Yeah, I know, I've been happily deluding myself all of this time about what Heero was like. I probably shouldn't try to pretend to be an expert now. He'd found me groping and being groped by that beach bum, forget that I tried to remember that I wasn't a slut after the fact. Heero was probably thinking some pretty shitty things about me right now. Maybe he'd had some false notion of what I was like too and he'd had his bubble bust as rudely as I had? It would explain the attitude he had copped, the one that had burned off a few layers of my self esteem and had burned my illusions about him to a crisp.  
"Bet you're lonely too," I said to the angry image of Heero in my head. "You didn't even try and keep us guys as friends. You just went off and did your own thing. Maybe, now, you get that we're all there is for each other? Maybe that's why you decided on this assignment? Maybe you wanted to start a new life just like me?" I studied the angry face in my memory and then I groaned and threw myself face down on the bed, running smack dab into a possibility that I didn't want to acknowledge. Maybe Heero really WAS an asshole.

I decided that my next impression wasn't going to be a bad one. If Heero Yuy was going to decide that I wasn't worth the air I was breathing, then it was going to be because he was a jerk, not because of anything I was going to do. Quatre had said not to mind him, that Heero's opinion wasn't going to change his mind about having me on staff, but... I couldn't help wondering about that. In a situation where lives depended on me being able to do my job right, I couldn't see Quatre not being cautious, not second guessing his decision if someone like Heero had something negative to say. I remember Heero being a perfectionist during the war. The guy never cut himself any slack. I'd seen what he was capable of when he had thought that he hadn't completed a mission. It sent a chill up my spine even now, remembering how he had jumped from a high building and simply fallen, trying to commit suicide for his failure. I think that the only thing that had stopped him that day, had been Relena Peacecraft screaming his name, reminding him of his larger mission, the one where he had pledged himself to defend peace. I was glad, then, that I'd saved that silly girl's life, if for nothing more than to have a voice that could screech loud enough where a falling man, six floors down, could hear.

If a man like Heero voiced an opinion that Duo Maxwell was an idiot, who not only couldn't control himself, but had been unable to defend himself against one untrained beach boy, then people were going to listen, even if they did have trouble believing it. I couldn't help being pissed off about that. Here I had thought that training the men would be the hard part. I hadn't planned on having to prove myself on top of it, or having to deal with the military version of 'office politics'. Quatre was going to be between a rock and a hard place. He couldn't afford to lose either Heero or me, so he was going to have to listen to Heero, and make Heero feel that his opinion was valued, while not piling on me and letting me know that Heero's opinion was full of shit. Okay, Quatre WOULDN'T think that last part, but I'm mad enough to want to keep calling Heero every damned thing in the book. Does it make me feel better? Hell no! It just keeps twisting that razor point of disappointment right into my gut.

So, I didn't spend my last hours of free time basking in the sun and trying to convince my body to change its internal clock, I spent it, instead, worrying about what I was going to wear the next day and practicing what I was going to say to Heero in the mirror. Pretty damned pathetic, right? I really did need to find things to say, though, that didn't sound like melodramatic soap opera spiel. I kept hearing a whine in my voice, hurt, pure and simple, and an accusing tone that sounded as if I was a jilted lover demanding... But, God! I really did feel that way! As much as it makes me sound like a dumb ass, I was hurting and I did feel like a devoted lover that had suddenly gotten a crack across the face. Even though it had all been in my mind, and it wasn't Heero's fault that I had built my personal life around a vid image, I still couldn't help that overwhelming sense of betrayal. That feeling kept me awake for most of the night.

When morning came at last, I rolled out of bed and tried to convince myself that I knew what I was doing. I pulled on my black dress pants, a white, button down shirt, and my black ankle boots. I slung my briefcase over one shoulder, a black leather satchel that contained a sandwich for lunch, change for soda, a few video games, a couple of pens, and a pad of paper that was covered with far more random doodles than any real information, and then checked my look in the mirror one more time. Okay, I'll have to admit right now that I'd done the 'mirror check' so many times that morning that I was ready to check myself into a psych ward for obsessive compulsive behavior. I was that determined to make a better impression.

As I looked myself over, promising myself irritably that this was THE last time, I couldn't help thinking, 'You look like a damned geek.' I did. A handsome geek, but still a geek. That particular look didn't suit me at all. I liked casual clothes, jeans with holes at the knees, t-shirts with band logos and smart assed sayings, boots, cargo shorts, and tanks. Right then, I looked like I belonged in school. 'Sorry, I didn't get my calculus homework done, Sister Mary Margeritte, the dog ate it.' I was a kickass Gundam pilot, dammit! I unbuttoned the top of my shirt and changed my boots to the silver ones with the gunmetal buckles. They looked almost like army boots, over large with steel toes. They made me look edgy. I grinned at my reflection. Screw geekdom.

There was a firm knock on my door. I refused to check my look again, took a deep breath, and went to open it. There, in the doorway, stood Heero Yuy dressed in a black and white business suit and dark sunglasses. His car keys were fisted in one hand and he gave me a slow, measuring look up and down.

"I'm here to drive you to the installation," Heero announced with a coldness that could have made an iceberg shiver.

I had only one thought, 'Aw! Shit!' and I realized that I wasn't ready for this at all.  
Say something intelligent, Maxwell, I shouted inwardly at myself. Instead, I found myself stammering, "Uh, okay, but... " I stopped, not sure how to make sentences suddenly. It was the dark sunglasses, I decided numbly, they covered up the only part of Heero that could have given me some hint of how he was feeling towards me. His face wasn't any help at all. It was like sanded stone; completely blank. I searched for something, some clue, needing something to tell me where I stood with this man.

"Do you have an objection?" Heero prompted and I felt my face go hot. "Quatre told me that you didn't have a car. If you've made other arrangements for transportation...?" "No," I managed to get out and then found something to say. "I'm just surprised that he sent you instead of one of his thousands of staff members."

"I was given a place down the beach from yours by Quatre, " Heero explained. "I am a more logical choice than sending a man all the way from the installation."

"Uh, yeah, I can understand that," I replied nervously and then kicked myself, hard, mentally, right in the ass. This wasn't going well. If I didn't find something to say that sounded more intelligent than vacuum, then my second impression was going to be worse than my first... You can shut up now, I KNOW there isn't much that could be worse than the first impression, but I'm trying to forget about that, okay?

Heero checked his watch. "We need to go. We have exactly twenty minutes to reach the installation before Quatre's meeting begins.I mentally checked my internal map and raised an eyebrow. "That's cutting it close. If there's traffic, we're screwed." I mentally winced. Great going, Maxwell! Start off by chewing out the guy you're trying to impress. I didn't think that stone could manage to look more stone like or that blank could have an even blanker expression, but Heero managed it. His cold voice said, "I have allowed for variables, but if you continue to waste time, then we will be late."

"Oh, okay, sorry about that. Let's get going then." I hid behind a stream of words, one tripping over the other, as I hitched my satchel higher on my shoulder and motioned Heero to lead the way to his car. I imagined a glare from behind those dark sunglasses of Heero's before he turned and walked briskly along a pebble walkway to a paved area where the residents of the small, beach community parked.

Shit! Shit! Shit! I swore at myself, get a grip. He's just a guy like you. He brushes his teeth. He eats, drinks, takes a dump, and wears... I studied the line that showed against the material of his pants. Heero Yuy wears briefs. Imagining him without the pants, standing in his briefs, I felt an instant hard on. Could it get any worse? Apparently it had. I let my satchel drop and clasped it against the front of my pants. This could NOT be happening to me! Heero was treating me like a complete waste of space, acting like a total asshole, and doing a really good imitation of deep freeze. Nothing about that man should have made a rocket in my pocket.

When we reached Heero's car, I saw that it was a very expensive, very sleek, model. What else? It seemed that Heero had picked up a sense of style. Remembering his penchant for lime green tank tops and spandex during the war, and his unwillingness to even comb his hair, I had to wonder what had motivated him to change... yeah, even as I was wondering how to make Mr. Excitable in my pants calm down. As I opened the passenger side door and slipped inside, I quickly looked at the contents of Heero's car before Heero could walk around it and get into the driver's seat. Computer, of course. Space link, double of course. Cds... alternative... I read the titles over again. It was all loud, experimental, on the cutting edge music. I blinked. I had heard some of the bands by complete accident. I wouldn't have listened willingly to that kind of stuff on my own. Seeing that Heero liked it, confused me... yeah, even more than I already was. For some reason, I had pictured him... well, not liking music at all. I'd never heard him listen to any... or do anything else for pleasure come to think of it.

Heero got in and I pretended complete innocence with my satchel in my lap, congratulating myself on losing an uncomfortable bulge, while he started up the car and pulled out of the parking lot. Unfortunately, I had congratulated myself too soon. You gotta know that young guys get erections just watching paint dry. I was older though, dammit, and I expect a bit more control out of myself, especially in such a very tense situation. Other guys understand, really they do, but when a guy is with another guy, and one of them gets excited, the other one has to wonder what he's getting excited about. If one guy is straight, then he's pretty much hoping it isn't because of him. Depending on the level of the straight guy's tolerance for the homosexual part of that scenario, one can expect said homosexual to get anything from an uncomfortable look to a full blown punch in the face. Not sure about Heero's feelings about guys like me, I wasn't going to lift up my satchel and let Heero see that Mr. Excitable was now going crazy over the scent of his after shave.

Women's perfume makes me ill. It's always cloying, perfumey, or musky, and it's geared toward exciting a whole 'nother set of sexual urges than what I've got. Men's cologne and aftershave, on the other hand, is another thing entirely. The scent is rich, sexy, masculine, and complete sensory candy to my hormones. I found myself shifting uncomfortably in my black, leather chair and trying to see Heero out of the corner of my eye while I pretended to look at the scenery passing by. The combination of the smell of cologne, black leather, pressed, business suit, and Heero's extremely handsome looks, was enough to make me feel like one huge arousal.

'You are such a dumbass!' the little voice inside of my head sneered, only it wasn't that little right then. I knew Heero was so far out of my reach, he might as well have been on Mars colony. I had no chance, now way, with Mr. Freeze. I was going to be lucky if I even developed a working relationship with the man. Even that was going to get blown out of the water if I didn't stop staring at the way his blue eyes caught the light like sun on deep water and the way his broad, strong hands gripped the leather covered steering wheel.

"So, I heard that you were working for Relena Peacecraft at one point," I said, desperate for anything to distract myself as I rolled down the window and took a lung full of fresh salt laden, air. Letting it out and catching the scent of dead fish, I wrinkled my nose gratefully and added, "I guess that didn't work out for you." When I turned my head to see Heero's expression, I caught his glance at me.

Heero's eyes were Goddamn laser beams! I could feel them burn my skin off right through his sunglasses as he replied almost viciously, "That is none of your business." He went back to staring ahead at the road, but his hands on the steering wheel were tense and white.

I went cold. I had the feeling that my life had just been spared. I had stepped on a Heero Yuy land mine, a big one, and lived to tell about it. I remembered to breathe and sank a bit in my seat. Well, I didn't have to worry about that second impression anymore, or my erection for that matter. It had gone as cold and cringing as the rest of me. Good work, Maxwell, I said to myself, go get your first prize for being able to stick the biggest foot in your damn mouth. 


	4. Tempers

Tin Soldiers Series sequel to Stir It Up Tempers So, we didn't do any talking for the rest of the drive and I was glad when Heero pulled into the parking garage of our new work place. I wanted to escape that deafening silence as quickly as possible.

Quatre's headquarters was an unassuming building. There wasn't a name on the outside and all the windows were black glass. If I didn't know better, I would have thought that it was full of accountants or paper shufflers of one sort or another. The men and women walking from their cars to the elevators, didn't change that impression. Normal, pretty much summed them up. Everyone was dressed neatly and had a casual air about them. I was used to the edgy, proud, and well trained men and women of the Preventers.Everyone there had looked like an agent, even their walk saying louder than words, 'I'm the best, don't mess with me.' Quatre's people, in sharp contrast, looked like hand shakers and office cooler ornaments.

Heero was doing a great impression of a blank wall as he climbed out of the car. I tried to get out as well, but I had forgotten to unfasten my seat belt. I struggled to undo it, embarrassed, while Heero stood and looked at me from behind his dark sunglasses, face unreadable. Freeing myself at last, I climbed out and tried to think of something funny to say to cover up the awkwardness of the moment and... Nothing. I couldn't think of a damned thing to say. Can you believe it? Duo Maxwell, speechless and without a joke. Someone check Hell, I know It's frozen over.

"This way," Heero said coolly and led the way into an elevator. I wasn't surprised when we went down, but I was surprised when we went sideways. Heero smirked at my astonishment. It was only a flash and I almost missed it before he turned to stone again. As if angry at himself for his lapse, Heero's voice turned even colder. Icebergs in deep space couldn't raise a bigger chill as he explained, "This building is only a cover. The real building is on the next block."

I blinked. No, I didn't know what to think. Heero had shown a millisecond of humanity and I wasn't sure whether I had imagined it or not. I studied the memory of that blip of Heero non conformity carefully. Heero's lips had turned up in... contempt? I studied the memory some more. Humor? I wanted to believe that it was humor, because, if I had made an unintentional crack in that block of granite standing next to me, then I intended to shove in a wedge and split it wide open.

The elevator doors opened, when, I'm not really sure. I came to myself and discovered that I was grinning like an idiot at my own thoughts and that Heero, on one side of me, and a stranger, on the other, were staring at me in the cautious way one stares at the potentially insane. Shit! Can we say that this just wasn't my day? Well, I will if you won't. The scary thing was, that it was still before nine a.m. If this was a taste of what the rest of the day was going to be like.

"Uh, just remembered something funny that I heard last night," I explained lamely and toned down my grin without much effort. They both stared at me expectantly and I realized that they were both waiting for me to elaborate. Heero I could understand, but who the hell was this other guy?

I made a show of looking at my watch. I tapped the face of it with one finger as I stepped through the elevator door, realizing then that Heero was holding it open with one hand. "I'd tell you all about it," I said, "but we don't want to be late."

Heero flicked a glance at the other man and the man shrugged and snorted in sympathy for Heero's having to deal with me. Heero squared his shoulders, as if he was barely keeping himself from expressing something that probably wouldn't have been a compliment to me. He followed me out of the elevator and motioned to our right with a sharp flick of two fingers. It was a military signal and he used it unconsciously. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who couldn't drop those habits.

Finally, we ran into some security. I had been starting to think that Quatre had gone soft and that a baby could have infiltrated the building, but walking through a full body scanner and then having well armed sentinels pat me down at the entrance to the doors to the inner sanctum of the building, reassured me. We found Quatre Winner sitting at the head of a very large table, with a group of important looking men, in a very well appointed meeting room. Heero swept in as if it were all familiar and took a seat beside Quatre as if he were Winner's second in command. Watching him smooth down his tie and remove his sunglasses, it surprised me that his blue eyes were looking, not at Quatre, but at me. They were intense and I felt... judged, searched, asked a question of great importance? Well, all of that really, but, like the smirk, that look was gone in under a second and Heero was directing his attention to some notes that Quatre had just slid to him over the shiny, mahogany table top.

I found a seat halfway down the table and felt uncomfortable among all the rich smelling colognes and four digit price tag business suits. Have you ever gone to a party very late, not known anyone but the host, found everyone in a large group talking, and then tried to figure out what they were talking about so that you could join in? I had that ten times worse, only I didn't think that a couple of casual questions was going to clear it up for me. I had been in the Preventers from the beginning. I had been 'in the know' about every aspect of the operation. Suddenly being on the outside, and not even knowing the details of my assignment, made me very uneasy. Throw Heero into the mix and you have one uncertain and high strung Duo Maxwell. Half of my brain was trying to figure out what was going on, trying to listen when Quatre began to speak, but the other half of me was stuck on trying to do one thing and one thing only; figure Heero Yuy out.

"Your thoughts on that, Mr. Maxwell?" Quatre's voice asked, carrying easily down the table to where I was sitting attentively... well, staring off into space, actually. No, dammit! I didn't have any idea what Quatre had just said or why he was asking me about whatever it was.

I took a deep breath and replied with a practiced response that had saved me many a time in many different situations, "I defer to Mr. Yuy. I'd like to hear his thoughts on it first." Yeah, it's called passing the buck, and it works almost every-

"But you're the expert," Heero replied and his hard look told me that he knew exactly what I had attempted. "State your opinion first, for the record, and then I'll respond to it if it is contrary to mine."

"Could I see the report?" My voice almost broke. I swallowed hard and prayed that there was one.

Quatre blinked and then laughed. He has a beautiful voice and an equally beautiful laugh. I often wondered, in my lonelier moments, what it was like for Trowa to hear that voice when they made love, calling out his name, groaning in pleasure, saying utterly erotic and naughty things with that cultured tone of voice he has... Yeah, I know that I told you that Quatre didn't make me even twitch below the belt, but that voice, come on! You'd think about it too! "Duo! You are such a joker!" Quatre was saying now and I tried not to show my complete confusion. "I wasn't aware that deciding what we wished for lunch needed research and a report."

Okay, now I got it. I smirked. "It was getting a bit stuffy in here. Everyone needs to loosen up a bit," I laughed and then added smoothly, "Well, since you asked... I like sandwiches and soda, but I'm sure everyone wouldn't want that, so, I think, if we catch a person and make him 'gofer', we can all get what we want by lunch time."

"Very good," Quatre responded, looked around the table, and received quick, 'yes men' nods of agreement. "We will take two breaks, have lunch, and then one more break before adjourning the meeting." More nods.

I sighed inwardly. I hadn't anticipated an all day meeting. Quatre was like that though; very thorough. I knew that, by the end of the day, all of my questions, and many I hadn't thought to ask, would be answered. I pulled my pad of paper and pencil from my bag and fiddled with it on the table in front of me. I slid a covert glance at Heero. So, I was an 'expert' at... what? Eating? Knowing what I liked? Getting what I liked? Bastard. Heero had managed to insult me without me knowing what the hell he had insulted me about. I'm sure everyone at the table had read his comment one way or another, non of it good.  
Mind on business, Maxwell, I told myself sharply and turned my thoughts away from Heero, and my own anger, to pay attention to Quatre.

Two hours of staring at a chart and having Quatre explain, in detail, about the command structure of the operation was not my idea of a good morning. I looked for my position, saw it midway, and far to one side, of a maze of lines and cross lines. There were several levels of bureaucracy to make sure things were good and bogged down, and at least eleven people that I had to answer to. It didn't look good. Quatre's endless explanation for each level didn't improve my opinion.

I'm an ex terrorist, street orphan, sweeper, and a mad scientist's prodigy. Did you expect me to fall into line and nod my head like everyone else? If you did, you don't know Duo Maxwell. I glanced aside at Heero and saw that he wasn't looking any more pleased than I was. I wondered if he were annoyed by the same thing that I was though. His eyes were on the part of the chart, next to my name, where his name was printed in bold black lettering. Quatre was expecting us to work together, it seemed.

"Uh, Mr. Winner," I said, making sure that my next words were at least in a sentence that started out respectful. Quatre stopped talking and his pointer lowered from the chart as he waited expectantly. All eyes were on me. I stood up, walked over to the chart, and used my pencil on its pristine orderliness. I drew a thick line from my name to his. "I'm here on staff as an expert," I told him, "I don't need people second guessing and questioning that expertise. Since only you... and Heero," I stumbled on that and then forced myself back on track, "are the only ones qualified to question my work, I won't join your organization unless I only answer to you."

One gruff old man exclaimed, "Of all the impertinent nerve!"

"Done," Quatre replied to me, smiled, and, without missing a beat, raised his pointer and began talking again about the rest of the chart. The old man was wide eyed and stunned, but he didn't dare question someone like Quatre.

I found my seat again and sat down, feeling relieved and getting back some of that self assurance that I had lost on the ride there. I was able to relax and give some input, ask some intelligent questions, and not go too stir crazy before we took a break.

Every one stood gratefully, stretched, and began wandering over to a coffee service. Quatre was immediately surrounded by men I wanted to call 'ass kissers' one through five. They each wanted to be the first to tell him how brilliant he was. Quatre smiled that gentle, patient, you are all full of shit, smile of his and was a calm in the storm as they jockeyed for position.

I managed to get my coffee and stretched my legs by standing near a window. The sun was filtered through black glass, but it was still warm and I could see palm trees gently waving in a breeze. I let my senses take me out there into the sunshine and I forgot about the sterile meeting room completely for a few happy minutes.

"I want to talk to you after the meeting," Heero said at my shoulder. If he were two inches closer, his chest would have been touching my back. I think I even felt his warm breath on my ear.

Confidence went by the wayside, replaced by surprise. I turned, stumbled, and my coffee dribbled onto the carpet in small droplets. Heero looked down at them and I heard him sigh as I recovered my balance, righting my cup before any more could spill. The sigh surprised me even more. It had seemed involuntary and it had sounded like a sigh of disappointment. When he looked up again, his blue eyes were part of a severe frown. He looked as if he were going to perform a very distasteful duty.

I had a brief thought, a mental twitch from more dangerous times, that someone Heero Yuy didn't like would probably not have long to live. I was now that someone. I didn't like that scary realization. How much of a chance did I have against a suicidal, trigger happy, ex gundam pilot, who's training, I knew from some hints that he had dropped long ago, had been far superior to mine? I was good, I had my talents, but I had to wonder if any of it would be any advantage in a one on one fight with Heero.

"Gentlemen," Quatre called, and we both turned to see that the others were already seated.

Heero looked back at me, waiting for his answer. I swallowed hard and replied, "Yeah, sure, after the meeting."

Heero nodded, once, and then went to take his seat. I went to sit down as well and tried not to think the worst. He just wanted to talk, idiot! I said to myself as Quatre's voice began droning out facts again. He probably wants to make sure I make other arrangements tomorrow beside his Yuy taxi service. He probably wants to tell me how much it sucks to be assigned to working with me too. That seemed more reasonable than that he was going to take me to a quiet corner and get rid of my irritating person permanently. Still, I suddenly wanted Quatre's boring orientation speech to go on a little longer.

Okay, I take that back, maybe facing a potentially dangerous Heero was far better than suffering through a seemingly endless orientation speech. By the end of the day, I think Quatre had covered everything down to how many spigots were in the bathrooms. My mind went into a coma more than once and only shots of really strong coffee, and the intricate doodles I was making on my sketch pad, kept me from smashing the window and jumping out.

"That concludes our meeting for today," Quatre said with a smile and stood up. I almost couldn't stop myself from yelling, hallelujah! I allowed myself a long sigh of relief instead and gathered up my things as the 'yes men' congratulated Quatre on an excellent speech and elbowed each other so that they could be the first to shake his hand.  
"Is that supposed to be me?" Quatre said over my shoulder. I started and looked up. His 'yes men' had been left behind, Quatre's hand still raised in a clear signal that they were to stay back and allow him privacy.

I looked down at my sketch pad and saw that I had made a small doodle of a cartoon Quatre being shot by a Gundam that looked like Heavyarms but with extra, oversized, guns. I covered it with my hand and felt a hot blush.

Quatre chuckled and not in that cultured, 'fake humor' kind of way. He really thought that it was funny. "I agree. It was a very boring day. One of the necessary evils, I'm afraid, of being in an organization."

I shrugged and stood up, slipping my note pad into my satchel. "This is different for me. The Preventers only let me in on the tactical meetings. All the decision making and talk was done by officers."

"In this organization, you are part of the decision making process," Quatre said. "That is why I hired you." He lowered his voice. "Did you really believe that I would leave operational planning and decision making to those three piece fools behind me? They are only good for paperwork, public relations, and cleaning my shoes."

I snickered. "Licking your boots, you mean?"

Quatre raised a golden eyebrow and laughed as well. "Yes, that's exactly what I mean."

"Okay," I said as I slipped the strap of my satchel over my head, "I guess I have to get use to these kind of meetings then. Make sure you keep triple strong coffee on hand at all times."

"Roger that," Quatre laughed, patted me on the shoulder, and then turned with a sigh to face his fawning 'yes men' again.

That left Heero and me. He was straightening his tie, and settling his coat with a shrug of his shoulders, as he came over to me. His expression was completely unreadable as he said, "Come with me."

I felt suddenly cold. I wasn't shaking in my boots, okay, but I was... really not sure what Heero was up to. A guy can't help but be nervous when faced with a man who had made his first kill at the age when most kids were learning how to eat with a fork. I'm the first person to admit that I'm messed me up and killer wasn't on my resume until I was in my middle teens. For all I knew, casually killing someone who was pissing him off, might seem perfectly reasonable to Heero Yuy.

Don't go anywhere where there aren't witnesses, I said to myself as I followed Heero out of the meeting room and through the maze like corridors of the building. I tried to orient myself, making note of room numbers, names on plaques, and... well, there wasn't much. It was a very expensive looking building, but the decor seemed to be repeated at regular intervals.

Heero opened a door and I followed him cautiously into an overlarge office with a huge picture window showing palm trees swaying in a balmy breeze, the tops of other buildings, and, faintly, the ocean beyond them. There were two huge desks with matching office supplies and an array of computer equipment along one wall. On one desk was a placard that had my name on it in fine gold letters.

I smiled. Heero was showing me where I was going to be working. That was all it was. I almost relaxed, until I saw his dark frown and the fact that he was standing next to the other desk. On it, was a placard with his name on it. Shit!

Heero had a note in his hand, one of the ones that Quatre hand slipped to him at the beginning of the meeting. Heero gave it to me and I tried to keep my eyes on Heero while I read the note at the same time. No, it wasn't easy, but I managed. The note read, 'Here is the number of your office. You will be sharing with Duo since you will be working closely together'.

"Closely?" I couldn't help repeating.

Heero nodded and just... stared at me. I blinked. Now what? I swallowed and felt my tongue go into a knot. Did he want me to say something about it? I hoped not, because, right then, my mind was emptier than vacuum.

"The quality of my work is very important to me. I won't have that quality compromised," Heero said at last.

Okay, I know what's going on now. Heero's marking his territory and expecting a pissing contest with me. I was only too happy to oblige him. Anger always gives me what I like to call, 'dumb shit' courage. Yeah, it's gotten me into trouble, but, sometimes, it makes me inspired and causes me to do things I wouldn't in my more 'normal' moments, like say... 'to hell with L2' and stow away on a sweeper ship..., steal a Gundam..., attack, head on, an 'I'm going to blast everyone to bits' Zechs and a class one starship with just a mobile suit... well, you get the picture. Let's just say, I suddenly knew what to say to Heero Yuy and I didn't care what it got me afterwards. It was two words. One word started with 'F' and the other started with 'Y'.

Heero looked as if he had been flash frozen. He just... stood there, for longest time, and then, just when I was about to turn and walk out to have a talk with Quatre about getting my own damned office, the man impersonating nuclear winter, spoke.

"You've changed from the war."

That left me flatfooted; confused. Since we are in a seaside place, I'll use a nautical term. 'The wind was taken out of my sails.' Impressed? Yeah, okay, anyway, so there I was, confronted by Heero's weird observation when I had been expecting him to tear me to pieces with those, big, strong, sexy... uh, steel bending hands.

"I don't think so," I managed to get out, "but you sure as hell have."

He suddenly looked as confused as I was. "How so?"

I found myself fiddling with my satchel, holding it in front of me, thinking I might be able to deflect any sudden punches from Heero as I replied, "You weren't exactly mister personality, but you had a hell of a lot more than you do now. Who the hell died and made you King of Assholes?"

Heero suddenly had an expression on his face. It was... I scrambled to memorize it, every aspect of it, because I knew... yep, it was suddenly gone again as a man walked into the office and introduced himself as our secretary. We both turned towards him and he must have felt the tension in the room. He looked nervous as he shook first Heero's hand and then mine. As he told us his name, and outlined his duties, I only half listened as I quickly took out that mental snapshot of Heero's expression and looked hard at it.

I don't get it. I'm confused! I don't know what the hell is going on with this guy! What is he all about? Why does he have it in for me? What the hell did I ever do to him? Changed? Maybe I have changed a bit, I'm not fifteen any more, for God's sake, but I think I'm basically still the same guy. He's the one who decided to turn into some inhuman, deep freeze, Mr. Bad Attitude... but... that expression... It had been fleeting, but crystal clear. It was telling me that I was wrong and I was finding it hard to believe. That expression, caused by my harsh words, had been, undeniably, one of pain. My words, somehow, had hurt Heero's feelings. 


	5. Ocean

Kracken Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.  
Warning:Male/Male sex,graphic, language, violence Tin Soldiers Series.  
Sequel to Tempers

Ocean

You think we 'talked it out' after Mr. Secretary left? No, of course not. We're guys. Guys don't talk too much about their feelings even when they aren't trying to snuff everyone of them out like Heero Yuy. So, we were just damned uncomfortable, coming up with a new language that consisted of one word questions and replies. I was still trying to get another glimpse under Heero's gundanium surface, though, even as I tried not to get pissed when he asked, "Gun?"

'Yes, dumbshit! I thought, but replied, "Two."

"Registered?" In light of our past, that was actually a reasonable question for Heero to ask, but now that I was supposed to be upholding the law and keeping the peace, it was insulting. "Yes," I bit back.

Heero adjusted his tie and picked up his car keys. "Ride?"

Hell no! I though viciously, but some devil took control of my tongue and I replied, "Yeah, thanks." There. Two, whole, pleasant words. Well, it surprised the hell out of me! By the look on Heero's face, I could tell that it had surprised him too. His dark eyebrows rose a little and he made a small grunt and walked past me. I guessed that I was supposed to follow him and did.

There was a big difference in the way that the people we passed treated me and the way that they treated Heero. I know what you're thinking. No, they didn't smile and fall all over me while avoiding him like a wolverine with a toothache. Instead, I was the stranger that they looked over curiously, ogling my long hair as usual and wondering who the hell I was, and Heero was the one they smiled at and called greetings to. They all knew him by his first name and everyone seemed eager enough to wave and call out to him. I looked sideways at Heero and saw him giving them a small, reserved smile and nodding in acknowledgement. Why did I get the feeling that, if I hadn't been there, he would have done a lot more than that?

It was a very uncomfortable, and yes, dammit, painful, feeling to realize that Heero wasn't a cold, hateful bastard to everyone... just me. The next question was, why? I remembered my earlier suspicion, that he had seen me being groped by a man and had realized the obvious; that I was gay. If that was the reason for his dislike, well, hell, there wasn't anything that I could or WOULD do about that except file a discrimination report with Quatre.

How really freakin' wrong this had all turned out! My new and better life was sucking as much as the old one and I didn't even have my comforting fantasy Heero to get me through it. The real Heero had ruined it for me. I couldn't look into those soft, vid image eyes without overlaying it with the scowling, angry eyes of the Heero striding the halls in front of me.

"I didn't know that you had been working here long," I said to that stiff back. "I thought that we were both fresh recruits."

The shoulders ahead of me twitched in a shrug. "I haven't," he replied without turning, "Quatre recruited personnel from several top notch organizations that I've dealt with in the past."

"Ah," I replied and found myself floundering. These people remembered him and were friendly towards him even though his relationship with them had been a working one. My suspicions had become a hard fact. Heero's attitude towards me was definitely personal.

I tried to imagine the man in front of me relaxed and chatting by the water cooler. It was hard thinking of him smiling and making friendly small talk. Heero Yuy going out after work for drinks or hanging with other people at the club or some favorite restaurant? I couldn't picture it at all. I was better at picturing him dismantling and reassembling a gun blindfolded as a party trick, or hanging at a gym with people as eager as he was to totally perfect their bodies and their fighting skills. I could see him saying. "Great karate chop, Bob, you could have snapped your opponents neck easily!" Insert Heero the Killer laugh here. I have heard him laugh by the way. It's kind of nice. Unfortunately, it had been the things that he had been laughing about at the time that had stopped it from being a pleasant memory.

Well, there was only one thing for it, really, and I was definitely the guy who could do it. I hadn't been given a Gundam because I was a chicken shit and the years since then hadn't mellowed my 'Do what it takes no matter what' approach to things. As soon as we climbed into Heero's expensive, bad ass car, and pulled away from prying eyes and ears, I was going to ask him what the hell his problem with me was. I had to do it. No two ways about it. I wanted that damned job. I wasn't going to let Heero Yuy bully me out of it, but I also wasn't going to work with a ticking time bomb who might decide one day that he couldn't stand me any longer and send 'Shinigami' to his just deserts in an efficient, yet violent, Heero like, manner. Trust me, when you're not sure where you're going to go after you die, you try to avoid finding out as long as possible.

Thinking it and actually saying it were two different things though. Sitting in Heero's car, smelling his cologne and leather seats, and watching his handsome profile as he glared at traffic, I found that I really didn't want him to verbally confirm that he hated my guts. I was hanging on to the last vestiges of the fantasy Heero, you see, and my mind was using tooth and nail, unfortunately. I didn't want to see the last of my dream evaporate, especially in the really ugly way that I was anticipating it would. Seeing how those people had reacted to Heero, remembering those brief glimpses of a part of him he didn't want to show to me, I felt... okay, after the way he'd treated me, you're going to think this is really stupid, but... I was thinking that, eventually, I might be able to get him to, well, like me. Ah, you're laughing now, aren't you? I'm not stupid, really I'm not, but anyone who knows me will tell you that I don't give up without one hell of a fight. Where Heero was concerned, I hadn't even started, so a part of my mind was arguing that time might be what we both needed. Yeah, while the other half laughs it's ass off and tells me to just get it over with and confront him.

I really needed to think about it some more though, I thought. I needed to think of sentences that didn't have at least five swear words in them. I knew that I would only be able to do that by not being angry and feeling hurt when I talked to Heero. 'Talk' was the key word here. Not shout. Not cuss. Not say things that would lead to fists flying and probably my blood spilling.

Having convinced myself that it was better to tackle the problem of Heero in the morning, and, another thought, in our office where we could have privacy, but be heard if one of us, okay, me, started screaming in Heero Yuy induced pain, I then turned to trying to keep myself occupied. Why, you ask? Because, even after having made up my mind to wait, I am still the kind of guy who likes to fill silences, especially when I'm stressed. It's like a safety valve for my nerves. Mindless chatter equals a distracted and calmer Duo Maxwell. Chatter though, might lead me to scew up and say what was stressing me in the first place. It's been known to happen.

Duo Maxwell: Nice weather.

Heero:Hn

Me: So, is that a eight cylinder, modified engine in your car?

Heero:Hn.

Me: We should work out our schedule and have an orientation for our staff and... WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME!

I'm not exaggerating, unfortunately. Heero didn't try and kill me after I was captured by Oz during the war because he thought that I could maintain silence. He knew back then that I was a loose lip chatterbox. They didn't have to torture me, just let me get nervous and bored enough to start filling dead air with the sound of my own voice. Soon, I would have been reciting the vulnerability of every Gundam... Okay, now I'm exaggerating, but you get the picture.

I pulled out my clipboard from my satchel and a pen. I doodled. I'm not an artist or anything, but I am a great doodler and it often keeps me from doing other things, in this case, confronting Heero. At first, I sketched an engine and one of Quatre's 'yes men' caught in one of the belts. No, I don't know what it means, I'm not a damned psychologist... anyway, then I progressed to random chains of odd shapes and then put several seagulls flying in an out of them. Well, you could tell that they were seagulls, but they weren't the greatest.

It seemed to take a long time to make that design, so, when I looked up, I expected Heero to be pulling onto the beach. No such luck. Traffic was heavy. I suppose that's what saved my life. We were going slow when I made an absolutely dumb ass move. I dropped my pen and then unbuckled my seat belt to lean forward and retrieve it on the floor of the car.

I confused Heero, I think. Maybe he thought that I had slipped off my seat, passed out, or was going to be sick? I'm not sure. All I know is that he took his eyes off the road and reached for me with one hand, grabbing onto my arm and hauling me back into my seat as he yelled, "Duo!" in a voice full of concern. That's when another car hit us... or we hit it. It's all fuzzy...

The foam bumpers deployed. That didn't help as the car was rolled over. Unbuckled and turning to look at Heero, the suspension foam inside the car slammed into the side of my head and jammed my clipboard, still in my hands, straight into my gut. Suspension foam doesn't work very well when you aren't where you're supposed to be. I wasn't in my seat all the way and I wasn't buckled in. It shoved me hard against the back of the seat and barely kept me from smashing my skull open on the roof of the car by holding me there. I still managed to hit pretty hard.

The world went away and then came back with a rush as my senses came back online to the smell of gasoline, a burning plastic/rubber smell, and Heero. There was the taste of blood in my mouth, my stomach felt as if someone had used it as a punching bag, and I couldn't think very clearly. I was still in an awkward position. The car was on its hood. I was still pinned by the deployed foam.

"Duo?" Heero's voice was anxious, almost frantic. "I don't want to release you from the foam. You might be badly injured. I'm going to wait until the medics arrive."

The smell told me, 'No fucking time!'

"Chance it!" I told Heero sharply and moaned as the sound of my own voice made my head explode with pain.

"Duo!" Heero protested.

I tried to focus and make sense out of the craziness all around me. I saw Heero below me and then realized that I was hanging upside down. Heero was crouched on his seat and it was full of broken glass. He looked up at me and his face... That look couldn't be for me, I thought. Heero could not possibly be THAT worked up about my predicament. I refused to believe my eyes.

Something splattered on Heero's cheek. He reached up and wiped at it and I realized, beginning to shake with reaction, that it was my blood dripping on him. I almost decided to ignore what I knew might be about to happen in favor of waiting for the medics to arrive. If I was messed up, then moving me might make me a cripple for life. I didn't want to take that chance. The burning plastic smell was unmistakable though, it told me what options I really had. There was only one and it didn't involve staying where I was.

"Heero..." My lips hurt. They must have been cut or bruised. "Gotta get out of here, with or without me, buddy. You know what that smell is. Engine fire, electrical short, or whatever... gas tank might blow. " I didn't sound coherent even to myself, but he already knew what I was trying to tell him.

"Duo..."

"You like saying my name?" I wondered with a lame chuckle. "What, Heero? Say something."

"I'm getting you out of here," Heero told me and there was such an intense passion and fear in his voice that I was stunned. I couldn't understand it, couldn't fit it to the Heero that I knew.

"No macho shit," I told him. "Catches on fire. Run like hell."

His eyes are deep blue, like... I dunno. I can't think. Fill in your own poetry. I'll concentrate on surviving. Anyway, he kept those comforting, intense, blue eyes on me as he released the foam, and his strong arms were there to ease me down. I was able to breathe better then, but I should have been able to do better. I suspected that it was because my stomach was a ball of pain and my diaphragm was having a hard time expanding and letting me get air in to my lungs.

"Go," I told him, thinking I was going to follow under my own steam. He knew better and his hands shifted on me. He was pulling and then pushing me towards one of the smashed doors. He was going to push me through the broken driver's side window, I realized.

"Fire," Heero said suddenly and he sounded frightened. I craned my neck around, poised at the window, and saw the bleary outline of orange flames towards the back of the car.

"Gas tank... any second, " I said and shook my head to try and clear it. The pain was incredible. It was all that I could do not to scream, restricting myself, instead, to gasps and small, hurt noises, as I huddled and shook where I was.

"Duo! " Heero snapped. "You have to go through the window and you must do it now! I can't follow you until you're through!"

I pulled myself together, throttled the pain and my reaction to it, and followed Heero's order. The cement was hard as I crawled through the window and out onto the pavement of the road. I scraped elbows and knees, leaving a trail of blood and skin. Heero was almost on top of me, coming through right after me and hooking an arm around my waist.

You should know that there were other people at the accident scene. We were on a busy road headed towards the beach. Why didn't they help? I don't blame them really. It didn't take an Einstein to figure out that smoke and fire make a kaboom sooner or later. They probably all had families, wives, kids, or even a lovers. Why stick their necks out for someone like me? It was my ass. I had to be the one to pull it out of the sling... only Heero was helping me. The man, who I thought hated me, was tempting the real God of Death, only I knew something that Heero didn't, or maybe had forgotten from the war. Shinigami had it in for Duo Maxwell.

"Let me go!" I shouted hoarsely and made a poor assed attempt at pushing Heero away.

Heero's grip tightened. He lifted me off of the pavement and began a stumbling run away from the car with me under his arm, half on my feet and half being dragged.

I don't know what I said. I only knew that I didn't want Heero to die and that I was willing to sacrifice myself to save him. What I wanted and what I was capable of were two different things though. I guess that I was half in and half out of consciousness, maybe slipping into shock. I couldn't see beyond Heero, but that didn't matter as he continued to carry me despite my cussing and faint struggles. I wanted my last sight to be of his face, his eyes turning on me with fear and something powerful and magnetic. It was almost as if he were trying to tell me something with that look, only I wasn't hearing it, wasn't understanding... maybe not trusting what I thought that I was seeing in their depths.

What happened next... It's confusing. Heero's body turned into a rock, his muscles gathering and bunching into hard knots while his legs became inhuman pistons. I was over his shoulder so suddenly that the world dimmed as Heero sprinted for the finish line, an invisible mark that was, hopefully, beyond the blast point. That's when the car exploded.

I felt the heat wash over me and I felt hard things pounding over my skin. It was bits of the car, I realized. When I continued to breathe, when I didn't feel any fire devouring me, I dared to hope that we had made it to safety.

The world went away again and, when it came back, I found myself stretched out on a semi soft surface and swaying and being jolted. Someone was holding me down and people were very close to me. I'm a soldier. I didn't know what was going on. Every instinct told me to attack the blurry shapes above me. Strong hands were locked in place on my arms though and I blinked and focused on Heero's face staring down into my own. The hands were his.

"You're with the medics, Duo," Heero reassured me. "We're on the way to the hospital." He saw my confusion, I suppose, and said the one word that pierced my fog. "Safe."

I managed a nod in reply, brain finally kicking into gear. Oh, yeah, the accident... I was hurt... I needed help... Heero had saved me and gotten me medics... The last part was the one I was having the most problem with. It seemed a departure from reality, some fantasy that I had cooked up to keep me from having to face the fact that Heero...

"Talk to me!" Heero's voice snapped sharply. "Give me a report!"

I opened my mouth, mind trying to think of something to say, trying to sum up... wait, we hadn't been on a mission. Heero had been driving me home... When one of the medics started talking, I realized then that Heero was asking him for a report, not me.  
A light shown in my eyes. I felt a needle inserted into a vein. A monitor was inserted under the skin of my neck. Instruments came to life all around me. "Concussion," the medic was saying, "severe bruising in several areas. Minor cuts not requiring stitches. I'd have to say that he is a very lucky man. It's not every day that you have a car turn yours into a blasted heap and you walk away with what amounts to paper cuts. I suggest that you get a scan just to be sure, but I can assure you that these monitors are very accurate. Are you his domestic partner, sir? If you have filed permission to make his medical decisions, I can administer a few things that will help him recover more quickly."

"I...," Heero stammered and then found his voice again. "We only work together. I think Preventer H.Q. is allowed to make medical decisions for him since he doesn't have any family members. If you would call them..."

I heard the medic making the satellite call. He must have been given permission. Suddenly, I felt more needles piercing my skin at several points.

I blinked my eyes rapidly and tried my best to focus, to stay with the here and now. I was going to be okay. Having had pictures of hover chairs and living a lifetime with a machine taking care of my bodily functions, you can imagine that I was feeling, not just complete relief, but embarrassed as well. I had unbuckled my seat belt. I was pretty sure that my action had distracted Heero and caused the accident. Now that he knew that I wasn't dying, I figured he'd be, not just pissed, but ready to tear me a new one. If he had hated my guts before...

"The other guy... the other car..." I managed to say. "He okay too?"

Heero looked... guilty. I began to think, 'oh, shit, whoever it was met his maker.' but then he said, "We hit a car disabled on the side of the road. There wasn't a driver. My inattention caused us to swerve and hit it."

"My fault," we both said at the same time and then looked at each other.

The drugs were clearing my head, taking off the edge of my shock. Heero's handsome face came into better focus. His eyes, almost hidden by his tumbled, chocolate colored hair, were... concerned still, but beginning to frown again. Great, now that he knew that I wasn't going to kick off he was pulling out the 'I can't stand you ' from the box again.

"Well, at least you have a reason to hate me now," I said.

Heero looked... surprised, pained, hurt, well, a lot of things. He replied, "I-I don't hate you, Duo. I- It's just difficult... I thought... After I heard..." I strained to stay awake, to hear what he had to say. I had a felling that he might not admit to me again, what he was admitting to me now. Having adrenalin surging through your system like lightning, having shared danger and almost death together, we were both... vulnerable, emotions breaking unchecked through our battered and weakened defenses.

"You don't hate me?" I prompted, fighting unconsciousness hard enough to make my stomach start clenching around threatening sickness. "So, all that abuse was just... what? An Act?"

"I..." Heero began and then stopped. His face suddenly closed up like a door slamming shut. I'd lost the moment, I knew then, and bit back a frustrated howl. "Your personal life is none of my business," Heero finally continued. "I shouldn't have let my opinions concerning it effect my working performance with you. If you like, I will sign any written complaint you choose to file against my behavior towards you."

What the f-! "If you're saying..." I stifled an urge to throw up and pass out. My head reeled. I panted. I was a stubborn bastard. I wasn't letting my body have the upper hand. Not now. "If you can't stand that I'm gay," I replied hotly, "then shit, yeah, I'm writing a complaint whether you sign it or not, Yuy!"

Heero started as if someone had hit him unexpectedly on the back of the head. It was a look someone gave you when you completely fail to understand something that they think that you should have.

"That's..." Heero stopped and then said strongly, "Duo, I'm gay as well. That has nothing to do with my reaction towards you. It is your personal life that I find fault with... I." Have you ever seen a kicked puppy? That confused, hurt, and that 'how could you do that to me?' look? Heero was wearing it in full force. "You need to rest," he added evasively, "I think that we should discuss this in more appropriate surroundings."

"Why?" One of the medics chuckled. "It's like watching a damned soap opera. "You guys got it bad, don't you?"

Another medic snorted in agreement. "We don't usually get a floor show while we work," he added. "Will there be music later in the show?"

Heero just shut up then and his face went into stone mode. He wasn't going to say anything more, not in front of non combatants anyway. His words had me tied up in a knot of confusion. Heero was gay. Heero had a beef about my personal life. Heero didn't hate me. It was all too confusing, too much to digest all at once. I was starting to doubt the reality of it all. Drugs can do weird things and I could feel enough needles in my veins to know that they were administering a lot of them.

"When I get past this," I told the face above me as it blurred and began to fade, "I want some damned answers, Yuy!" Did he reply? I don't know. Unconsciousness rolled over me like a truck loaded with a star cruiser. 


	6. Crash

Tin Soldiers Series

Sequel to Ocean

Crash

I woke up with lips that felt like a cracked, dried out, watering hole,  
in the middle of summer, in Africa, at high noon, and a headache that was like nothing I ever want to experience again. I groaned and moved.  
Big mistake. The rest of my body told me that it was hurting too and my head gave me a wicked jab of pain to show that it did NOT appreciate the movement.

"Painkiller?" a stranger's voice asked.

I jerked and the noise I made, as the pain jacked up another notch,  
sounded pathetic and childish. Still, my soldier's training wasn't about to let me ignore that presence so close to me and demanded action no matter what the cost to me in pain. I opened my eyes as I reached for a weapon I didn't have.

A hand closed on mine and it was very strong. "It's all right. You are in a hospital. It's safe."

Heero's voice. I was confused. I blinked furiously until I could focus.  
My eyes focused on a man holding an injector next to a plastic line. I followed that line to my wrist. It was taped there and attached to a needle that was already allowing some fluids to drip into my veins.  
"What?" My voice was as dry as my lips.

The man made a decision. He decided that I wasn't really awake and he injected my line. After a few heartbeats, the pain lowered to an almost nonexistent level. I let out a long breath of relief and almost closed my eyes to sleep some more, but my mind had other ideas. It was still worrying about the fact that I had heard Heero's voice and that we didn't know where the hell we were. Okay... so I'm talking like I'm two people now. You can see that I'm not all there yet. You get slammed into the hood of a car, head first, and see how well you do.

"Do you remember the accident?" Heero's voice again.

I nodded, once, with as little movement of my head as possible.

Heero was suddenly leaning into my line of sight and frowning. His blue eyes were studying me intently, trying to gauge how alert I was. Not too much time had passed, I guessed, since he was still wearing his black business suit... well, unless he had a closet full of them at home and that's all he wore. During the war, he had worn a few things;  
jeans, stolen uniforms, school clothes, but he had liked spandex pants and tank tops to the point of... well, when you've seen him stand in the snow in an outfit like that, you have to think that he REALLY loved wearing them. So, it wasn't too weird to think that he might like black business suits like that too... only it is weird to be thinking about it at all... I think the drugs are messing with my head. I think I need to stop worrying about Heero's clothes and start wondering why he was in the hospital with me to begin with. I mean, he could have just dropped me off at emergency and gone about his merry way.

"I'm not..." I tried to ask Heero something, but it was almost impossible to talk.

My bed went vertical a few notches with the smooth whir of a motor and the strange man put a straw to my lips. I sipped ice water thankfully even though my stomach was threatening to throw it up all over my benefactor. When the straw was removed, I coughed a little and then tried to talk again.

"Status?" That was a good word. It asked every question that I wanted to know without any effort on my part.

Heero didn't spare me. That word was a 'soldier mode' trip wire big time. His face went flat of emotion as he brought his exacting memory on line and rattled off smoothly, "Concussion, disorientation,  
unconsciousness, bruised forehead, severely bruised midriff with some bleeding, minor scrapes and bruises, none requiring medical attention.  
Twenty percent muscle damage in left leg, ten percent damage in right wrist. Recovery time estimate; two weeks. Recommendations; suspension of duties for three days and then reduced activity until recovery time is completed."

The man blinked and grunted, "Does he always talk like that, son?"

I guess he was asking me. Hell if I knew! He didn't wait for my answer.

The man gathered up some things and said, "Call button near your right hand." He left the room then and didn't question Heero staying behind with me. I wondered if anyone had checked my file and found that Heero wasn't listed there as someone who even had a right to visit me.

The drugs wanted to drag me down into oblivion again, but I stubbornly resisted and turned my eyes to Heero. His clothes had bloodstains on them, a rip near the sleeve, and so many wrinkles it looked like a new fashion of some sort. He hadn't changed then, which meant that he had been by my side for... how long? Hours? He looked exhausted, his eyes bruised looking and his mouth tight.

"Why?" I asked, at a complete loss.

"Why?" Heero echoed.

Okay, so we were about to continue our strange new mode of conversation from before, using only one word sentences, so I made an effort to use more than one when I clarified, "Why'dya stay?" Well, not brilliant,  
but better.

Heero's face came alive again with emotion, but he was turning away before I could get a good look. "You should rest some more," he said.

"Not... not until you-" I started to demand, but he half turned and glared at me and I shut up. He wasn't ready to tell me what he had eating him. I snarled unhappily, "Go the hell home then and let me sleep! I don't need you staring at me and I can see that you need some down time too."

"I had to make sure," Heero said, almost stepping on my words, maybe anxious to calm me down. "I couldn't leave you here without knowing..."

We stared at each other and I tried with every last drugged brain cell of mine to figure that man out. Nothing came to me. He hated me. He didn't hate me. He was a bastard. He wasn't a bastard. He didn't care.  
He cared. He was looking at me intensely and I couldn't for the life of me understand what that look meant either. He seemed to want something from me. It was like... I struggled with the concept, trying to fit it to Heero. Yeah, it was like I had lied to him. Have you ever seen the face of a kid when he finds out that there isn't any Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, or the Space Boogie Monster? It's not pretty. They look like you betrayed them. They try to understand why you lied to them about something so important to them, but it's hard. Hey,  
everyone would love to think that magical bunnies and men in red suits really do give presents and candy once a year. It hurts when you find out that they don't and you feel, well, stupid for having believed it.  
Heero was looking like that right then and I couldn't understand why.  
I didn't remember squashing any of his comforting beliefs and I know I haven't lied to him.

"You don't have anyone," Heero clarified at last. "You needed someone to be here to see that things were done correctly until you regained consciousness.."

"Ah," I said. That made sense, or it would have coming from someone else other than Heero. "Thanks. I appreciate your doing that for me"  
Okay, so I tried being nice and stopped analyzing, since it wasn't getting me anywhere anyway. I owed him one. I had done something stupid and gotten us in a wreck and he had taken care of me. Whatever else he'd done, that made up for it.

"Heero," I said, and paused, trying to find a good way to say it and not finding any. Finally, I just plowed on, hoping that, if he thought that what I was about to say was strange, stupid, or just plain impossible, he would give me a pass considering all the drugs pumping through my system. "Heero," I started again and he was waiting patiently for me to finish. "Can we just forget everything that has happened up until now? I mean, can we start out fresh, like we just met and like we don't have a past of any sort? I get the feeling that I've done something that you didn't like, but... well, you don't want to talk about it and I don't have a clue, so..." I held out my hand.  
It was shaky, scraped raw in several places, bandaged, and strapped with supports and tape. "Hi, My name's Duo Maxwell. I was a Preventer agent, but now I'm assigned as your partner. I hope we can have a good, working relationship."

Heero stared at me and I was so sure that he was going to just leave,  
but then, as if he were moving against a really strong reluctance, he grunted and took my hand. It was firm and his hand shake was strong.  
"Heero Yuy, special operations. I was impressed by your service record. I look forward to seeing you in action."

"When I'm fit for duty," I said, feeling a wave of relief, "I'd like to run some mission scenarios with you so that I can get to know your style of operation."

"Acceptable," Heero said with a business like nod. It was another relief to see that he was actually accepting my offer. He was acting as if we had just met and he was treating me like an equal. As bad as I felt physically, body throbbing despite the drugs and throat still sore and dry, mentally I was on cloud nine. I might never know what he had been mad about to begin with, but, if we could keep it up, it might not matter. I crushed under my heel, the part of my brain that wondered if we were also going to start believing in the Easter Bunny.  
----------------------

Aside from some blinding headaches, and a feeling that every muscle in my body had been stressed to the limit, I was good to go when they released me from the hospital. No, Heero wasn't there to drive me. I told him to stop hovering over me and get the hell back to work... well, okay, so he left and it was his idea, but I was in full agreement. Though we had patched things up, or at least papered over the mess between us, we still weren't comfortable talking to each other. Those long silences, and watching Heero pace around the room like a caged beast, convinced me, that being stuck in a hospital alone was preferable to the stress Heero and I were making between us.

I took a cab back to the bungalow and found it comfortable and very much like 'home' when I tossed my house keys onto the dresser and surveyed the mess I had left behind. My tower of soda cans, my piles of unwashed clothes leading to the bathroom, and an empty pizza box, marked my territory. When I checked the vid for messages, I found two, and that summed up just where I was in my life. One was from my boss, Quatre, telling me to take it easy and to report in when I felt fully recovered, and the other was from Heero, telling me that he knew I had been released from the hospital and to check in at eight in the morning at the office. Nothing else. One friendly, solicitous Quatre. One, 'I know you're fine, so get your ass to work'. No one else. No family and no one wondering where I'd been.

"You're pathetic Duo," I said to myself and made that sinking feeling of 'loser' even worse. Hey, I was talking to myself because there wasn't anyone else to tell my troubles to. How sad is that?

I popped some pills the doc had given me, grabbed a soda from the refrigerator, and downed it in a couple of gulps. That hit the spot. I grabbed a second and opened up the shutter on the window. Leaning on the windowsill, I looked out at the sun drenched beach and sipped on my soda while a balmy breeze blew over me.

"So, you're the new neighbor."

Shit! I almost dropped my soda, and reached for the gun I wasn't wearing, as this suntanned octogenarian, in a flower shirt and surfer pants, poked his head into view from behind a palm frond. He was already holding out a hand to shake mine, a denture filled grin on his face.

"Kind of young to be retiring, aren't you?"

I blinked at him, gathered my panicked thoughts back into some sort of coherency, and then said, "Not retired. I have a job in town."

"That sucks," the man replied, frowning. "That cuts into your being lazy in the sun time."

"Uh, yeah." Jeez! Brilliant! I kicked myself mentally and told my soldier instincts to calm the hell down as I filled in that bit of eloquence with an actual sentence. "Name's Duo Maxwell. I work in security." I shook his hand.

The man's smile returned. "No shit?" he said with a chuckle. "You don't look like the kind of guy who wears dark suits, has a sonic pickup in one ear, and tails important people."

No, that was Heero, I thought, and found a laugh too. I liked this guy. I could tell he was exactly what he appeared on the surface, a good natured lay about. He was looking me over and his expression was curious. I remember my cut head, the bandage over it, and my bruises then. I must have looked like I'd been in a fight. I touched the bandage and said ruefully. "Car accident."

"Double sucks," The man whistled in sympathy. "My name's Mike Romers, by the way. Everyone calls me 'Romie' though. You can too. I know where all the good parties are and where the best surfing is." He winked broadly. "You need any ladies, you just call. I have some hot looking friends who like it casual, if you know what I mean?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him and replied, "Well, the partying sounds good, and I always wanted to try out surfing, but you can keep the ladies, Romie, if you know what I mean?"

No, I didn't care who knew and I especially wanted this old guy to know before he got too far into, 'You're my best chum now.' mode.

Romie blinked and then he laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I get you. Well, I have a few friends that go that way too, but I wouldn't let him near someone your age. You're on your own in that department."

"I like to be on my own when it comes to that anyway," I replied and smiled, really liking this guy. Yeah, he was old, but he had a look in his eye that told me that he could be as wild as any twenty year old and that he knew where all the fun was. It's not like I had other options, other people scrambling to be my friend just then. Why not be friends with Romie?

"I live in bungalow 10, just down that path and around the corner," Romie told me, a thick finger tracing the way in the air. "If I'm not there, I'm on the beach. Walk enough and you'll run into me."

"Okay, see ya around then, Romie," I said.

I started to back up and close the blind, but Romie was looking past me. He grinned. "Your soda can tower is taller than mine. I think we're going to get along just fine, Maxwell."

"Yeah," I grinned back. "Me too."

After I closed the blind, I laughed quietly at myself. I had a friend and it wasn't Heero, or someone my age. Instead, it was a wrinkled, sunburnt man, almost three times my age. "Well," I said to my four walls. "It's a start and that's more than I had this morning"  
-  
Well, I did go to work, still sporting a fantastic headache that beat an ice pick, repeatedly stabbed into my head, hands down. Popping aspirin, slurping soda, and almost spilling my satchel and the papers some person had slapped into my arms, I made my way to my office. Who that person had been, or what I'd been given, I didn't have a clue. She seemed to know me, to be irritated by me, and to be glad to offload her burden onto me.

Arriving at my desk, I dumped my load there. Some of the files slid across the empty surface and landed on the floor with a loud slap. I grunted and sat heavily in my leather chair, taking a long drink of soda and considering how much pain it would cause me to lean over and retrieve them. It surprised me when Heero bent and picked them up for me.

God, he smelled good! I couldn't help taking a sniff. His cologne, whatever it was, made every hormone in my body stand at attention and salute. When he looked at me curiously with his blue eyes, I realized that he had heard me take that deep breath. I smiled, a wide, shit eating grin. I couldn't help it. I suddenly found the whole situation just too funny. Here I was, acting like I was in my teens again and stammering over my first crush, only... well, Heero had been my first crush. It made me think of my 'experience' in the realm of dating and getting laid. In under a second, my love life paraded before my eyes. It wasn't bad. Sure, nobody had stayed around for long, but I think it wasn't that bad even considering that. Dealing with Heero, because of that experience, should have been a hell of a lot easier.

"Thanks." I pointed to my head. "Head's still aching. I really did NOT want to bend over."

"Hn," Heero grunted in reply, put the folders on the pile on my desk, took a second to shuffle them into a neater pile, and then went back to his own desk. He sat down and returned to his work, staring at something on his computer. An orange- brownish drink and a protein bar were at his elbow. I was betting that the drink was something nutritious as well.

What was I expecting? I dunno, maybe something along the lines of 'A headache? How bad? Maybe you should see the doctor again?' or maybe even a 'Sorry to hear that, Duo, make sure you take it easy today.' I would even have settled for a-

"Have you taken something for the pain?"

Hm, what? Heero had spoken, not looking at me, but definitely directing some wordage my way. I blinked, "Yeah, some aspirin," I replied. "The doc gave me stronger stuff, but I don't want to use that at work."

Heero nodded as if I had already left his thoughts and he wasn't really listening to my reply. I mentally shrugged and started unloading my stuff into the drawers of my new desk. When he spoke again, I paused in the act of booting up my computer, pencil stuck between my teeth. He was typing something, but he was frowning too. "This training schedule is rigorous. I suggest that you concentrate only on orientation the first few days. That way you can recover more fully."

Well, duh! I thought acidly, but kept my temper in check, forcing myself to reply neutrally, "Yeah, good idea, thanks." I went back to making my area disorganized and homey, but I kept glancing covertly at Heero. He was definitely making an effort and I wondered how hard it was for him. When he didn't speak again, I flipped through the paperwork that woman had dumped into my arms. It contained duty rosters, copies of key points that Quatre had made during his orientation speech, and a multitude of interoffice chatter that had almost nothing to do with me.

"You know," I said, kind of too myself and not really expecting Heero to answer, "There shouldn't BE any paperwork. I mean, we have nifty computers for all of this."

"Hm?" Heero looked up, a crease between his eyes.

"Paperwork," I repeated. "There shouldn't be any. It should all be electronic."

He grunted and went back to work. I didn't know if he was agreeing or disagreeing with me. I pretended to work as well, but there really wasn't much for me to do. My work was in the training area where my men were going to be. I should have been ditching my satchel, downing the rest of my soda, and making my way there... but, Heero should have too, and I was wondering, with the uneasiness of a guy like me, who was unused to a job like this, whether I was missing something that I was supposed to be doing. I decided that I needed to make sure that I wasn't going to embarrass myself by trying to leave and being wrong about it. I needed to see what Heero was doing.

You don't sneak up on a soldier like Heero. That would have been bad, very bad. Stealth wasn't going to enter into this. instead, I had to have an actual reason for going over there. Idea number one; 'You smell so much like peaches and cream, that I wanna lick your skin.' Yeah, in your dreams, Maxwell! 'Can I have a bite of your nutrition bar, I forgot to eat breakfast?' Nope, too stupid. "I just wanted to see if your screen had as many pixels as mine.' Yeah, right! You geek!. Wait, I think I have it! Yeah, perfect!

Proud of myself, I sauntered over to Heero. Heero turned in his chair and looked back at me as I came up behind him. I could see his screen clearly. It had been halved, one half the bios of the agents to be trained, the other half, a chart he was meticulously filling out, documenting their strengths, weakness, and suggested training methods. Oh, yeah, that made sense. I should have been doing that myself.

"Do you have a pen I can borrow, Heero?" Told ya. Smooth.

Heero glanced over at my desk with a lifted, dark, eyebrow. I followed his gaze and saw three pens strewn among the paperwork there. Okay, so I hadn't thought it through enough.

"Don't work," I amended lamely and felt my face go red.

I don't know what he thought, but he didn't say any of it. He just handed me a pen and I scooted back to my desk with my tail between my legs. Sitting down again, I didn't even dare look at him.

I needed to know how to access the files Heero was looking at. I needed to catch up and do it quickly. My embarrassment was making me too scatterbrained though. I fiddled with the things on my desk, pretending to look for something while my brain gyrated and tried to think what to do. I didn't have a clue how to go about getting to the file I needed short of hacking the system.

Somewhere inbetween the, 'What am I going to do so I don't look even more stupid?', and the beginning of, 'I don't need this. I should go back to being a field agent!', I happened to shuffle some papers and caught sight of a memo telling me the file name for my men's bios. Saved! I typed it in and the screen came up.

"You may ask me anything."

I jumped, feeling a few years stripped off my life. Heart pounding, I turned in my seat and saw Heero standing at my shoulder, looking at the screen thoughtfully.

"This is new for you. I understand," Heero continued. "You shouldn't feel inadequate for not having the correct information. If we are going to work together, we need to share information freely."

"Okay," I managed and we stared at each other for a moment that seemed... well, like it was forever. I thought about the peaches and cream line again very seriously.

Heero looked like he was struggling... struggling to say something. Heero wasn't a babbler though, not like me. I saw his lips go into a thin line as he thought better of expressing whatever he was thinking. He nodded and began turning away.

I felt that I was losing a moment, a moment I might not get back again. He wanted to talk, I could tell.

"You have doubts about me, don't you?" I asked bluntly.

Heero stopped in mid motion and then turned back to me, looking uncomfortable and kind of pained.

"Tell me what's wrong and I can either work on it or tell you why you got me wrong," I insisted. "You want to share info, let's start with personal info."

"When Quatre contacted me, I looked into your situation with the Preventers," Heero admitted. "I talked with your fellow agents, men and women who had worked with you. I was told that your style of operation was unique, but that you were a dedicated and successful agent. That's how I remembered you during the war and I was reassured that the same still held true. When I questioned people about your personal life though, I was less than satisfied. Since I believe that your personal lifestyle will eventually effect your success as an agent, I grew concerned when I learned of your social interaction with numerous, questionable, individuals and your frequenting of bars and night clubs."

My entire expression was one of, 'Huh?' I was speechless. Heero looked even more uncomfortable. My mind worked through his words, trying to think of what could possibly have made anyone say that I had a wild, promiscuous social life... Oh, Shit! Suddenly I knew exactly who would have cheerily supplied information like that. Who would Heero ask, but my last partner, about what I was like? Or, I corrected myself angrily, what he thought I was like?

My headache suddenly grew by leaps and bounds until it felt as if my head was filled with molten, pulsing lava. I rubbed at my face and then sat back in my chair, regarding Heero. I told you at the beginning that I thought my 'indiscretion' with Gerald Filmore was going to come back and bite me in the ass? Well, not only had it bitten it, but it had taken my ass right off! Sure, I could tell Heero that I wasn't a party animal and my list of sexually conquests could fit on a sugar packet, but I couldn't tell him the one thing that I wished with everything in me that I could. I couldn't tell him that I hadn't let my partner hump me. Yep, Duo Maxwell had done what anyone with sense, professionalism, and good taste wouldn't have. I had groped my partner in my patrol car, taken him back to my place, and let him do me, not once, but three times. No defense. Nope, none at all. I had done it willingly, more than willingly, whole heartedly.

Heero was waiting. He even looked as if he were hoping for a denial of some sort. All that I could manage was a disheartened, "Damn." 


	7. Turning the Screw

Kracken

Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.  
Warnings:Male/Male sex/graphic/language/violence

Tin Soldiers Series:

Sequel to Crash

Turning the Screw

"You know, a priest once told me, you own up to your mistakes and don't try and excuse them," I said to that tight jawed, icy face of my partner.

"Then you're confirming it," Heero said and nuclear winter was back in his voice. "I had verification when I saw you... with that man on your first day here."

Damned if I was going to take any crap for stuff that WASN'T my fault. I was in deep enough. "I was suffering from major jet lag," I snapped back, "I made the stupid decision to look around and walk down the beach. Well, I didn't do so good and beach bum was helping me back to my place. I thought he was friendly and I thought he might be nice to get to know. If you were there long enough, you might have heard me turn down his oh, so nice offer to show me the inside of his pants. I guess he didn't like no for an answer and he tried to rape me. How any of that was my doing..."

Heero looked suddenly concerned. "I saw him... groping you as I approached. I didn't hear what you were saying to each other."

"You're the one who roughed him up," I reminded him, "What was that all about if you thought I wanted what he was offering?"

"He was being...," Heero paused and I saw him turn a shade of pink that startled me. He seemed both angry and embarrassed. What the hell was going on if Heero hadn't realized that Adonis was trying to rape me? Did he normally go and break up people necking on the beach and rough them up? "We should have arrested him."

I frowned and rubbed the back of my neck. "I guess you're right. When it involves other people, I follow procedure, but, for myself... I guess I'm too used to being outside channels, too used to being in a position where the law doesn't care what happens to me."

Heero nodded thoughtfully. "I saw you struggle," he said. "I thought he was being too rough. I needed to step in and stop it."

I scowled. "You didn't give me time to explain. Why?"

Heero looked uncomfortable.

I said, answering my own damned question, "You'd already pegged me as an easy lay, that's why, someone who likes the wilder side, someone stupid and irresponsible, so you thought I was just being true to form, right?"

Heero gave a damnable shrug and half turned away. He ran a strong hand through his dark hair. He looked like he wanted to just leave and not continue the conversation. That was fine with me, I didn't want to plow through the muck either, but I knew that we both had to.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "Heero, let's start with Filmore." I picked up a pencil and stabbed at the pad on my desk. I doodled, keeping my eyes down, trying to keep my nerve. I knew I had to expose a bit of myself here and I really did not want Heero to think that I was such a weak little shit, I really did not. "Things, personally, weren't going so well for me. I was..." Spit it out, Maxwell, I commanded myself. "Lonely." How pathetic, right? I glanced up, briefly, and saw Heero looking very puzzled. I lowered my eyes again, flushing. "I'm not... immune to hormones and, you know, getting past the point of no return. Filmore is a good looking guy. We were stuck in a car for most of the day, we got to talking, and he kind of... came on to me... and I really, really, needed that right then, okay?"

My pencil lead snapped. There was a dark mark on the pattern of interlocking circles that I had been drawing. I made myself lower the pencil and I forced myself to finish. "So, he's talking shit about me because he wanted to keep on seeing me and, when I said no way in hell, I guess he was afraid I'd mouth off. Looks like he put out 'his' story to give himself an immunity shot. Now I'm the whore agent who can't keep his hands off his innocent partner."

I pulled the doodle off of the notepad and crunched it into one fist hard, glaring at it. "You don't know me anymore," I continued, "but I used to say that I never lied. That's kind of altruistic and really impossible, but, this time I'm telling the truth, Heero. I made a mistake. I freely admit it. It was one time though, and I'm not going to repeat it... ever! Sure, I've been to a few parties and I drink on occasion. There isn't anything wrong with that. Yes, I do go to dance clubs and bars, but if you really look into it, you'll see that I go few and far between. My record has some troubled places. Things happen, ya know? On the whole though, I'm a good agent and Sally Po, I'm sure, and Quatre, have both told you so. I'm not a drunken party animal who lays anything that walks by. I'm not, Heero. If you can't believe that, then you need to tell Quatre that this partnership isn't going to work."

Heero didn't say anything. He seemed to be thinking very hard, eyes on the floor. After a full two minutes passed, I demanded, "Are YOU a virgin, then, that you think you can judge me for -"

"I..." Heero interrupted, but paused for another moment. At last, he looked up and I saw... relief. Heero was relieved and a tension left him, a relaxing around the eyes and mouth, that I hadn't realized, up until then, had been there. He looked different, suddenly, younger, less like a block of granite to bang your head against. "The facts didn't match your personality as I knew it. I should have questioned Agent Filmore more thoroughly. It was inexcusable of me to accept the testimony of one man as a bases for a decision."

"Well," I found myself replying, "He was my partner. No reason to think that he would lie about something like that, especially when he admits to fraternization with his partner." Heero nodded, accepting the excuse that I gave him.

I suddenly laughed and tossed my wadded up doodle into the trash. I checked my watch and then stretched as I stood up, suddenly feeling like a free man. It was all out and maybe it was all going to be good after all. "If we are done with this torture session, why don't we have an early lunch, and then maybe you can help me find the stats on all the men so I can catch up, okay?"

Heero blinked. He gave me a slow once over, as if seeing me for the first time, and then he frowned and shook his head. Suddenly, he was 'all business' Agent Yuy again and his emotions were tightly in check. "I appreciate your candor in giving me all the facts, and revising my estimation of you, but you don't help me improve that estimation by then trying to interrupt our schedule on the first day. We have a great deal of work to do. If you wish to eat, then I suggest that you supply yourself with a nutri bar and drink so that we can continue to work uninterrupted."

Heero leaned to begin typing on my keyboard, bringing up the stat chart that he had made and explaining it to me. His after shave washed over me and some hint of masculine, Yuy scent. It was, okay, dammit, kind of tingly, having him so close to me. He was a powerful man and he definitely had a 'presence' that hit all of my buttons. I had just claimed that I wasn't the slut he had thought I was and he had believed me. Getting a hard on now would have blown all of that out the window. Oh, Duo! After ANOTHER partner?

I bit my lip hard and concentrated on being annoyed. Heero wasn't going to be relaxed and easy, he was going to be a stickler for the rules and a workaholic. That was bad, really bad in my 'laid back attitude' book. I knew that having him think that I was a lazy, undisciplined agent was almost as bad for someone like him as being a wild, party animal, slut. Heero, I could see, still prided himself on being perfect and doing exactly what he was told by his superiors. Lunch was at twelve?. That's exactly when it would be, then, and not a second earlier... unless he chose, like the perfect agent that I think he imagined himself to be, to not to have it at all. If I wanted to earn his respect, and get in the Yuy book of people he could depend on, I had to follow his lead... yeah, and I knew that I was going to hate every minute of it!

I finally nodded my understanding of the stat chart, Heero showed me several places where I could download information, and then he retreated back to his desk to finish up his work.

I worked like a maniac to catch up... okay, at least I did AFTER I snagged a candy bar, a bag of chips, and a soda from a vending machine down the hall. My stomach was growling at me and making it clear that it wanted more than a pasty nutri bar and a rancid nutri drink. Sugar, carbos, fat, caffeine, and the red dye 42 coloring my soda are what makes brain cells gyrate, my friends, so no speeches about the questionable health ramifications. When I tip over the downside of the big four- 0, I'll start thinking about it.

I guess I was on... agent sixteen of my team, when I felt a nerve twitch. It told me that I was being stared at. Call it hyper senses or second sight, I don't care, but I knew, without a doubt, that I wasn't wrong. Since me and Heero were the only two in our office, and mister secretary was on the other side of the door... I concentrated on my peripheral vision, trying to connect the blurs and make an image I could understand.

Aha! Gotcha! I could see Heero turned in his chair, hands still on his keyboard, as he stared at me. He wasn't being covert about it. I weighed options and possibilities and then growled at myself that I was being an idiot. If he wasn't worrying about my seeing him, then he wasn't doing anything that he was afraid for me to see.

More confident, and feeling a bit sheepish, I glanced up to ask if Heero wanted anything... and then realized that Heero was doing something that I'm sure he was totally unaware of. He was staring at me with a look I knew as well as the back of my hand. It was the same look that I had captured on my vid clip. A dose of thoughtful, a peck of longing, a tinge of sadness, and a dash of ... someone caught in a pleasant daydream.

I stared back and my mouth was hanging slightly open. I was mesmerized, unable to say or do anything. That 'look' had shared the ups and downs of my life for many years. It was... I can't even describe what it was like to see it in the flesh and right in front of me.

"Heero?" I said cautiously, not trusting my voice.

Heero blinked, coming back to himself with some embarrassment that he hid by turning in his chair so that he wasn't looking at me any longer, and saying in a voice that rang with complete correctness, "Are you ready to review our group yet?"

"Almost," I whispered and then cleared my throat and said louder, "Give me another half hour." Heero inclined his head, but he was frowning now. I wanted that other expression back in the worst way. I wanted to know if he was thinking of me when he looked that way, even though I thought it was pretty damned unlikely. Someone like Heero probably had a guy waiting at home. Maybe that's who he had been thinking of?

You might think I'm a bit unstable... yeah, laugh... but I hate that 'not knowing' game. What we were forging between us was a huge land of 'not knowing' that seemed to be expanding its borders by leaps and bounds. This part of the growth I could stop, though, right then and there, with a simple question. Yeah, I know, guys don't usually ask this question unless they're angling for something, but... oh, hell! Of course I'm angling for something! Who am I trying to kid? Myself? I want Heero and checking to see if I had any competition just seemed wise... well, it did!

"If we stay late..." I began and Heero turned to regard me with a disappointingly neutral expression, "I was wondering if you have someone waiting for you to get home?" I waved at my computer screen. "I can see right now that we seriously need to compare notes. It may take a long while."

That 'look' almost came back again. Heero shook his head and turned nearly away from me to retrieve something from a scanner. "I don't have anyone, but my cat," he said over his shoulder, "and she doesn't require an explanation of my plans or whereabouts."

"Cat?" I raised eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes," Heero replied. "A stray. It was either take it in or let it die in a storm."

"Is it a good pet?" I wondered. I wasn't sure how we had ended up talking about personal things, like Heero's pets and the fact that he didn't have anyone permanent in his life either, but I desperately wanted to keep the channel open.

"She is affectionate," Heero admitted. "Good company." He closed the channel, but not abruptly, so I wasn't too disappointed when he said, "I'll give you my notes so that you can see my observations about each agent. If you think that we will have to stay late, then we should use our time efficiently. I'll make out a quick schedule."

Heero Yuy was going to share notes with me and make us a schedule! We had talked about his cat. He had 'looked' at me. There was a real person under all that hard granite and Heero was finally showing it to me. Did that mean that he forgave me making the mistake of getting in bed with my partner? I wasn't going to hope for that much, but maybe he wasn't going to judge me so harshly now that he knew more about what had happened on the beach.

Heero was staring at me again and I realized that I was grinning, hell, glowing like an idiot light bulb with anticipation of getting chummy with Heero. I coughed, tried hard to look more serious, and then lamely said, "I can't think of anyone more expert to do it, do the schedule and help me, I mean."

Heero stared and I saw, damn, the smallest smile touch one side of his lips and then he was nodding firmly and going about his new project. Did he think I was funny? Did he think I was a complete idiot? I did, why shouldn't he? I wished that I had paid more attention to his eyes in that second, but the smile had floored me. His eyes would have told me a lot. Still... I had made Heero smile.

Work, Maxwell, I told myself sharply. Don't lose ground by being what Heero hates more than anything else, a screw up on the job. During the war, I remember that he hadn't thought much of my cheerful attitude, but MY expertise on missions had earned his respect. I can't say I was much of a disciplined agent, and being in the command position of trainer is a new thing, but I had to harness that ability, that genius inside of me, that knew how to be a soldier/hacker/bomb expert better than most men, and teach it to these men to the best of my ability. No screw ups, I promised myself. I couldn't afford any more, not when I was finally getting somewhere with Heero.

And where exactly was I going?

I pondered that as I finished up my chart and compared it to Heero's. I was surprised that we had made many of the same recommendations and really surprised when some of mine were better ones.

"Finished," I told Heero and stood up as I hit enter on my keyboard to download to my clipboard. Heero stood as well and gathered up his own clipboard. "Are you going to change before we see the men?" I asked.

Heero nodded. "They're waiting in gym number five. We'll stop by the lockers and I'll get you some issue workout clothes. We won't be doing any exercises today, but it will be best if we make an appearance-"

"Looking like part of the team instead of like the suits in the office," I finished with a grunt of agreement.

"Yes," Heero replied and then, "Did the stat chart give you any trouble? I'd like to see yours, if I may?"

See yours? Okay, so I thought something dirty. So sue me, I'm a guy. "No, I don't mind you seeing mine at all," I replied, but I was trying so hard to sound bland that he blinked at me. I saw a blush creep up from his collar, but it didn't get any higher as he took my chart and downloaded the stats to his own.

"Thank you," Heero said briskly, and handed my clipboard back to me. "Looks good," he added as he walked away.

Okay, it was my turn to stand and blink, watching my partner walking away and wondering if HE had meant something by that. Don't start, Maxwell, I snarled at myself. You're doing what you know you shouldn't. Duo Maxwell does not fraternize with his partners... only Heero really wasn't my partner in a soldier/ police type of organization. We were just trainers in an organization put together by Quatre Winner, so technically... yeah, but would Heero see it that way or would he think the same standards applied now? My brain was spinning. My 'I want and I'm going to have it.' was doing a battle royal with the 'see sense, we want respect, recognition, and to do our job right' side of my brain. I wondered if I could have it both ways. There just had to be a way to do it.

I followed Heero. He kept his nose in my charts as we walked and wove unerringly through crowds of personnel in the hallways while he did it. Now that he wasn't so close, I started thinking... maybe I was just trying to justify myself the same way that i had justified going to bed with Filmore? That was like a face full of cold water, thinking that I was about to screw up again and with the one man... well, maybe I could keep my pants up and wait for things to happen this time instead of ruining my life by jumping in head first. No more stupid jokes, I told myself, no more smelling Heero's cologne. This was business. If more happened later, in an above board and appropriate manner, then it would. God that was a hard decision. I'm impulsive, I'm definitely 'head first', and I really, really wanted Heero in every way. I wasn't going to get him, though, if was even possible, if I showed him that I was exactly what he had thought I was.

I can do this, I told myself, I can be responsible. I can be no nonsense. I can keep my wanting Heero to myself... well, for now.

We entered the locker room and Heero finally looked up from his clipboard. He gave my body a once over and then left me standing while he went to supply. When he returned, he had a neatly folded stack of clothing with him. He handed them to me along with a locker key and pointed across the way from his locker. "Your locker is over there."

"Thanks." I put my clipboard down on a bench and then straightened to see Heero undressing matter of factly to put on his workout clothes.

It was the hardest thing on Earth or in Space for me to turn my back and start undressing myself. I didn't peek, not even once. You can nominate me for sainthood now, thank you.

"Ready?" Heero asked as I picked up my clipboard again.

I had my clipboard positioned strategically as I turned. "Yeah, I'm ready," I said. "Let's go see the men."

Stop laughing. It's NOT funny! This isn't a job, this is torture! 


	8. Swinging

Chapter 8: Swinging

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence.

Tin Soldiers Series Sequel to Crash

Swinging

The men turned out not to be such a bad lot. They were all career agents harvested from many organizations. I saw a few faces that I knew, but not well, and one I knew by reputation. Heero seemed to know them all.

This was making me uncomfortable. I was the cheerful guy, the one who made friends in a snap. Maybe I couldn't keep them once they figured out that I used to kill people wholesale and that the words 'Wish I still had my Gundam' and 'Don't sneak up on me or I might shoot you', weren't jokes, but until then, I was the man when it came to knowing everyone and everyone knowing me. To suddenly be the wallflower, and to see the man I used to think of as 'Mr. No Personality', step forward and start talking first, was more than just odd feeling, it was just 'wrong.

"Captain Maxwell and I will be evaluating you on many levels," Heero was saying as he walked up and down the line of men dressed in exercise outfits. "You are all here because you have excelled in your areas of expertise. It is the job of Captain Maxwell and myself to see if you are capable of working well in a group situation and if you can be trained to have multiple capabilities. We need talented individuals for these positions. You must be able to fill a mission requirement immediately, no matter what that requirement entails. Captain Maxwell is an expert in weapons, computers, and detonators. I am an expert in infiltration. While those are our main areas of expertise, we are both also capable of working in many other areas."

He went on at length and the men shifted from foot to foot, bored. I watched them and jotted down notes on my clipboard. By the time Heero was through, I had pretty much divined everyone's personality. Looking down at what I had typed, I had made notes like; Rogers: jerk, lacks upper body strength. Lemon: brown-noser, faking interest, no balance. Simmons: shy, strong arms, runner's legs. Lupez: small, hyper, spit and polish; looks too gun ho. Krandall; looks good, potential. Skill was one thing, but a man's personality played a big part in how he reacted in a given situation.

"Jones," I said suddenly and the man looked at me questioningly. "You can go."

"Sir?" he asked and Heero looked puzzled.

"You know why," I said and the man looked guilty, as if he had been caught stealing.

"Yes, sir, sorry, sir," the man replied dejectedly. "See ya, Clover!" he said to another man in the line and that man looked disappointed.

Heero raised an eyebrow. I could tell that he was totally baffled. I grinned to myself, but kept myself straight faced as I said, "Sorry for the interruption, Captain Yuy."

Heero nodded. He wasn't going to question me in front of the men. I knew it would be coming, though, as soon as we dismissed them. "If you would like to speak to the men, now, Captain Maxwell?" Heero asked.

I kept it short and sweet. These kind of guys didn't give a rat's ass about speeches or orientation. They only cared about what kind of trainers we were going to be and what kind of action they were likely to see. They wanted to know if they could depend on and trust us. Heero and I were going to be their team leaders, and we were going to be the ones sending them into life or death situations. I could see them looking me over already, not listening to a word I was saying, and making dozens of assumptions about me, most of them dead wrong. Whether they were thinking I was a killer and a Gundam pilot, or a effeminate man with a braid, I knew that only action in a mission was going to change their minds about those assumptions now.

I ended my little speech about working together, and being a team that could operate no matter what part of it might be lost, and then Heero sent them all off to the obstacle course.

"They look so damned young," I chuckled.

Heero didn't laugh with me. I looked at him and saw that his expression was very tense and unsure. I knew what it was about, but I made him ask me. "Why did you reject Jones? He's an excellent pilot."

"He's also Clover's lover," I replied, not looking up as I made more notes. "They thought that they could pull one over on us, but I saw them making moon eyes at each other. I don't know if it started before or after they were chosen for the team, but you know as well as I that you can't have couples working together."

Heero stared as he digested my explanation, and then he gave a short nod. "I would have made the same decision." He added with a tone of respect, "You are very observant." That kind of thing made a good soldier and a lack of it made a dead one. I knew Heero was just as observant, if not more so than I. He had just been too busy 'organizing' and talking to notice Jones and Clover.

I shrugged and smiled. "You were busy. I didn't have anything else to do but look at them."

"May I see your other observations?" Heero asked.

Well, damn, I was flattered. I handed over my clipboard. He read over my notes. I could tell that my style confused him and he frowned.

"They're just first impressions," I said defensively.

Heero handed me back my clipboard and said, as he walked towards the door that led to the obstacle course, "You should know by now, how wrong first impressions can be."

Okay, I'm scratching my head here. What had he meant by that line? Was he criticizing me for taking down first impressions, and pointing out that he had been wrong to do the same thing, or was he pointing out my several, spectacular screw ups and rubbing my nose in it? I hate cryptic remarks! If you're going to say something, just... well, say it! Heero's stiff back wasn't a dictionary to 'Heero speak' either and I can tell you that I wasn't in a good mood by the time that we reached the field and the men running through the course.

My headache was coming back full force. My confusion, the sun beating down, and the lack of a solid lunch, were beginning to beat on me, physically, like a sledgehammer. I wasn't about to ask Heero to remember that I wasn't far out of my hospital bed and that the doctor had given me express orders not to lift a finger until my next check up with him. Instead, I stood by Heero's side making notes, just like he was, and tried to ignore the concert of growing misery in every part of my body.

The men finished and gathered around us. It made me nervous. When you grow up on the streets, you learn to blend in and NOT be noticed. When you're a terrorist in a dirty war, you really grab onto anonymity with both hands and wrap it around you tight. Being the target of so many intent looks, usually meant that you were captured by the enemy and about to say hello to Mr Sadistic Interrogator, Mr. Bastard Warden of cell block A, and lastly, Mr. Executioner. I tried to keep my hackles lowered and managed a tight, but professional expression.

Heero surprised me by saying, "Sloppy. I can see that you're used to working individually. Your time and your performance through the course was abysmal."

These were some of the best, or so they thought. There was angry looks and one man dared to retort, "It's a hundred degrees in the shade, Captain Yuy! The course is level four. It tests individual strength, not group performance. You can't even get two men through those obstacles at the same time. I'm sorry sir, but if you had wanted to test us on group cohesiveness, you should have told us to use course six."

Brave man, or very stupid, I thought. Heero didn't look angry though, he looked as if he had expected him to say that. Knowing Heero's extensive training, I was almost sure he had orchestrated the entire thing to get just that reaction. What I didn't know was, why.

"You should be able to maneuver the course together no matter what difficulties there are," Heero told him. "Your goal is to work together to get through it as quickly as possible. The walls are very high, the ladder with the repel ropes has large gaps, and the tubes are low. Working together, you could complete the course in much less time."

The man who had spoken eyed the course and then looked Heero up and down. Not brave... very stupid, I thought as he said, "I'd like to see you try that, sir."

I made a note of his name, Potter, and put a little cross next to it. I'll light a candle at mass for you, sonny boy, I thought with a silent snicker, after Heero makes hamburger out of you.

"Duo?" Heero turned to me and, caught off guard, I blinked stupidly.

"Yeah, Heero?" I asked and tried not to wince as I pulled myself back together. "Captain Yuy?" I amended. I could just hear Heero's frustrated sigh, but he didn't let the others hear it. "Are you up to running the course?" Heero asked.

Heero was honestly asking if I was all right enough to do it. He fully expected me to tell the truth. I needed to say, 'No, way in hell can I run that course.' but... that dipshit, Potter, would eat that up and Heero would look bad... hey, and so would I! I wasn't about to stand there and tell Heero, and everyone else, that I was a wimp and that I was going to let a headache stop me.

"Sure thing, Captain Yuy," my mouth said without any prompting from my brain. It was good at that, real good. "Let's go." I made a mental note to put my doctor on speed dial as I moved to stand with Heero at the start of the course.

Heero gave me an intense look. "You realize that we have to do this perfectly?" he asked in a very low voice, "and that the respect that they give us will be based on how well we do."

"Yeah, I do," I growled back, "So try and keep up with me."

Heero frowned, but then a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. There was a sudden gleam in his eye and then he was off and running. I cursed him in surprise as I raced after him, but then I remembered my training and let him stay in front. I knew I was faster, but Heero was much stronger than I was. He needed to be point man for what we had to do.

There were some things in the course that we had to do single file, but a slow man never goes before a quick one. When we reached the tubes, Heero went first, his stronger upper arms making him faster at this, and I followed, choking on the sand he threw up, but determined to be right on his tail. I was right behind him when we emerged and he reached behind him and jerked me out as he lunged forward. Pulling me after him, I landed on my feet running right beside him. We reached three successive walls. Again, Heero was first. He lunged for the top of the first wall as my hands clasped and slammed under one of his feet, using my weight to give momentum to his jump. Swinging up to the top, Heero reached back and grabbed my arm. I swung up, quick as a monkey, but I had barely reached the top when Heero jumped down on the far side, pulling me over with him. We landed together and sprinted for the next wall.

Adrenalin erased my headache from my notice along with all my aches and pains. My heart throbbed and pulsed in my ears, blood rushing madly as muscles flexed and strained. Time seemed to slow and the universe condensed itself down to Heero and I. I was suddenly acutely aware of his scent, of his flexing muscles, of his bright eyes, and of his wide battle grin. He was on an adrenalin rush too, flying high and loving the release that came with pushing a body to its limits. It was just like in the war, working together, trying not to die, but willing to die to complete our mission. There was the same sense of camaraderie, only this had a new level to it. This was somehow sexual. Running the course, depending on each other, sweating and riding the edge of endurance, hands clasping with hard grips, and bodies moving together, we were both striving towards a culmination, a climax at the end of the course. Yeah, I was damned hot for him, and yeah I was getting out all my pent up sexual frustrations then and there, but you know, I was loving every minute of it, so go ahead and call me a pervert, I don't care, I'm getting down and dirty on an obstacle course with Heero Yuy.

We reached the ladder and the repelling ropes. The end of the course was on the other side. Almost there, I told my body. Keep it together. Don't you freakin' embarrass us by passing out or having a heart attack now! Still, I was glad when Heero helped me over the first part of the climb by simply grabbing me by the waist and heaving me upward. Damn! He's strong! I needed that help though, I could feel my body starting to cut through the adrenalin and tell me what a very bad idea this had been. I made it to the top and don't ask me how. I wasn't seeing too well by then and my headache was back a sickening throb of pain. My hands shook as I tried to fasten the straps. Suddenly, Heero was there, almost body to body with me, and fastening the straps for me. I felt the greatest sense of relief and comfort just then. Those confident hands were attached to the man I trusted most in the world, and every sense I owned knew that he wouldn't let me down, that he would get me to the end of that course with some dignity in tact.

"Ready?" he asked and I looked up and saw his concern, his anger at me for not having told him that I wasn't up to the course, and a grim determination that told me that he was going to drag my ass across the finish line one way or another.

"Ready," I replied. "Don't worry about me." I threw myself over the edge and began repelling down, letting long hours of training take over. Heero was a second behind me and I took a perverse pleasure in spending my last bit of strength beating him to the ground. When my feet touched ground though, though, I staggered and dropped to one knee. Heero was there for me again, unhooking me from my harness, putting an arm around me, and making me stand. He let go then and nodded towards the finish of the course.

"I can make it!" I growled, more at myself than at Heero, and then began a stumbling run.

I finished and experienced a surge of adrenalin and relief, that was so much like an orgasm, that I was trembling and feeling a powerful rush. I stood, panting like a bellows and trying to not pass out, as Heero faced our excited men and, well, basically rubbed their noses in it. If I hadn't felt as if my heart was about to jump out of my chest, I probably would have been there and helping him do it, too. Listening to his strong voice dressing the men down and explaining matter of factly what the meaning of team work was, I had this sudden urge to grab him from behind and press myself against his hot, dirt and sweat soaked back. Heero dismissed the men and I waited until they were gone before I let myself sit abruptly down on the ground, head hanging and hands lax in my lap. Heero kneeled beside me and looked into my face. "I'm sorry," he said. "You seemed all right, or I would never have asked you to do the course. I think you should see the medic. You're very pale."

I blinked and my eyes cleared. I realized that he was gripping my arm. His eyes were the softest, warmest blue I had ever seen in my life. His face was flushed red from exertion and his bangs were damp with sweat. Kiss him, dammit! Every hormone in my body screamed it. God! How I wanted to taste those lips of his, take hold of him, and pull him down with me. I wanted the real thing, not some adrenalin rush facsimile of sex. Tell him? Yeah, right! Guess what, Mr. Body, we want more than just a roll on the ground from Heero. Mr. Brain wants respect and something called friendship. A small voice deep down piped up, 'love, too,' but I cringed. That was the dream again, the idiot who had fooled himself into thinking that there was a Heero out there who COULD love me. Wake up and smell the reality coffee, I told it, and be happy we at least got to rub bodies together on an obstacle course. It was certainly all we were going to get. We? Okay, I just gotta stop thinking in third person.

"I don't need the medic," I said stubbornly. "I just need a decent lunch and about a gallon of water to replace all the sweating I just did back there." I grinned at him, trying to be the clown and make him relax. "That was pretty fun, though, wasn't it Heero? Felt like old times."

Heero wasn't fooled, but he understood about pride it seemed, because he didn't insist. Instead, he helped me to my feet and we limped back to the Preventer building. "It was like being on a mission together," he admitted as we entered the cool building and I sighed in relief. "You haven't lost your skill. If you had been feeling a hundred percent, I think we could have made even better time on the course."

"Definitely," I agreed. "We certainly showed those green boys a thing or two."

Heero nodded. He wasn't taking me to where the men were showering and putting on their uniforms, instead, he was taking me back to our office. I didn't argue. I felt as weak as a kitten and my head felt three sizes too big and full of molten lava.

"I'll finish the orientation," Heero said as he lowered me into my chair. "If you feel the need, take the rest of the day off. If you're here when I return, I'll drive you back to your home."

It felt weird sitting there in filthy, sweat soaked clothes in a neat, efficient office, and I should have felt a bit self conscious, but... all I could do was nod like an idiot. I stared at Heero, thinking, I don't care if I die in this chair, I'm going to be here when you come back. The thought of squandering this sudden camaraderie, this sudden closeness, yeah, even though it was just in a professional way, wasn't something to be contemplated. If I had to suffer for a little while longer to get more of it on a car ride home, I was more than willing.

"I'm good," I told Heero, trying to sound like I really was. "I'll type up a report on the orientation and send it over to Quatre while you're gone." That sounded good. The reality was, though, that I was probably going to collapse as soon as he was out of sight.

Heero stared down at me, for what seemed like forever and things moved behind his eyes that I couldn't even begin to name. One of his hands reached out and then thought better of it and lowered. "I'll be back soon and check on you."

He turned and left. I wanted to shout. I wanted to dance. I wanted to sing. How could something that felt so bad, feel so good too? Heero was going to check up on me. He damned well cared! Well, I had suspected that much when I'd been in the hospital, but it was nice to have it confirmed. Maybe it wasn't anything more than just one human worrying about another one, but get that kind of emotion out of Heero Yuy and the sky was the limit. I was breaking down that damned wall of his and I fully intended to crawl inside his defenses and curl up there, staking my claim to at least his respect and maybe, just maybe, honest to goodness friendship.

"Is everything all right, Captain Maxwell?" the secretary asked and I realized that I had been chuckling like a maniac. I stopped myself with an effort. The man was looking nervous and clutching an electronic file to his chest.

"I'm fine," I told him and waved him off. I think I was about to be the new subject at the water cooler entitled, 'My crazy, ex Gundam pilot, boss and what he was doing today.' Well, go ahead, I thought as he wisely left me alone again, I had more important things to worry about, like staying conscious long enough for Heero to drive me home. I picked up the phone and dialed down to the cafeteria.

"Food prep," a voice answered abruptly.

"Captain Maxwell here," I told him, "Double espresso, stack a sandwich with ham, cheese, and extra mayo, and throw something with a lot of sugar on the side. I want it delivered up to my office, pronto." The man started to argue that they didn't do that, but I cut him off, " Quatre Winner's orders!" He shut up immediately. Well, Quatre did give me authority to order people, why not extend it to ordering my lunch?

That mission accomplished, I stood up and forced my body to pace the floor. It called me every name in the book via pain Morse code. I didn't care. I'd pay for it later, but right then it seemed well worth it to keep that look of respect in Heero's eyes.


	9. Unmasked

Chapter 9: Unmasked

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence.

Tin Soldier Series Sequel to Swinging

Unmasked

I don't know what I looked like when Heero finally did come back for me, but I saw him frown at me as he went to his computer and shut it down. Huh? I know my expression was dumbfounded, dumb being the operative word here. When he picked up his car keys and gathered some material and his electronic clipboard into a briefcase to take home, I finally got that he was going to take me directly home. I must have looked like shit then. I didn't think that Heero had changed from the war so much that he wouldn't still be a stickler for entering things into his computer, sorting it, compiling it, making back up copies, and then sending it to all pertinent personal before even contemplating sitting down.

"You didn't eat?" Heero asked as he looked down at the lunch that had been delivered to me.

I had tried to eat, but... okay, I'm going to admit something right here. During the war, we didn't have good access to something called a 'doctor' because doctors and hospitals tended to be under enemy control. They didn't exactly welcome little terrorists who had gotten hurt stomping their installations into mush with their Gundams. So, we were used to patching ourselves up and finding drugs in very interesting ways that had nothing to do with handy things like prescriptions. When I complained to Mr. Secretary that I was going to die from my headache, he told me I should get a prescription for these wonderful pills he was taking for back pain. It didn't take much to bully him into 'lending' me some. Now, don't try this at home kids. There's a reason you have a doctor give you those things. One man's medicine can be another man's poison. I, of course, think that I am a badass ex Gundam pilot and therefore smart enough to ignore that pearl of wisdom. When you've administered your own iv drip, anesthetic, and stitched up your own wounds, two pills didn't seem so dangerous.

"I'll take it home and eat it later," I said. I shoved the food and a few other things sloppily into my satchel and slung it over my head. "Ready when you are."

I wasn't ready at all. In fact, I was having the disconcerting feeling of being drunk and I wasn't sure I was going to be steady on my feet. Heero was giving me that 'field assessment' look and I knew that if I didn't get up I was going straight to a medic. No way, no how, I thought, gritting my teeth. I wasn't going to look like a weak shit in front of Heero and I was NOT going to miss a car ride with him.

I levered myself up and was glad when my knees locked and held. So far, so good. Now, if I can make it to the car... "Lead the way, He-man!" I chuckled and then flushed red. Had I really said that? That was the same stupid stuff that I had said when I was fifteen!. Heero hadn't liked it then and, when I glanced at his face, he wasn't liking it now.

Heero's jaw tightened and he nodded. I followed him out of the office and concentrated on a spot between his shoulder blades as I forced one foot in front of the other. I had this disconcerting feeling that I was about an inch off the ground and that the walls were soft, like marshmallows. Trying to keep my mind off of that, I found myself watching the shifting impression of Heero's broad shoulders under the material of his coat

"Can you still bend steel with your hands?" I wondered. Fuck! Why was I saying this stupid shit? It was like some imp was taking random control of my mouth and I couldn't stop it.

Heero's head cocked a little. I'm sure he was as confused as I was, why I was bringing that up. "Yes," he replied shortly.

Heero's past was a can of worms I hadn't tried to open during the war. My past was pretty damn dark, but it was a tragedy, a by product of soldiers forgetting that the citizens under their control had some right to go on breathing. Heero's past, I felt, was much more of a calculated, personal, crime. Someone had systematically and deliberately, messed him up. If you had asked me back then, if he would have been a candidate for surviving the war, I think I would have said no. Someone had taken a human being and given him one purpose and one purpose only in life, and once that was over, what was there for someone like that? A self destruct button, I had thought, not a cushy job with Quatre Winner and honest to goodness, friendly, associates... oh, yeah, and a cat for a pet.

"Sally and Quatre showed me that I was still relevant," Heero said stiffly. "That I still had a purpose."

I blinked, completely confused and then felt heat scald me from the top of my head down to my toes. I had said all of that out loud! God! I was seriously messed up! How could I have done something so stupid! "Sorry, Heero, I didn't mean anything by that..." I was stammering, sounding even more like a complete idiot.

Heero shrugged. "You didn't say anything offensive. My past is of interest. Since you will be working with me, and we were comrades in war, I think you are entitled to question me to determine my competence."

I rubbed a hand over my face. Heero thought that I was questioning his sanity? His ability to do his job? I tried to recover, afraid that he was offended and just not showing it. "I joined the Preventers to feel relevant, too," I told him, offering him some of my past for kicking his. "I was pretty screwed up after the war... I drank... lived in a shithole place... basically wallowed in apathy and couldn't bring myself to care about anything. I didn't have family. I really didn't have friends. I didn't have time to think past getting my revenge on Oz and helping the colonies, so when the war ended... there was just a big, lonely nothing..." I fell into contemplating that, my feet still automatically following Heero. "I missed you."

I bumped straight into Heero's back. He turned abruptly with the most intense look I have seen yet. I scrambled to figure out what I had said. It came back to me in fits and starts and then I went white. I had said...

"What was there to miss?" Heero wondered bleakly.

There was a hollowness at the back of Heero's blue eyes even while he was narrowing them at me like laser beams. "I guess..." I fumbled for the right words. "I guess I thought we were... kind of... friends."

"Friends?" Heero sighed and ran a hand through his hair. It made it turn into a messy, chocolate tangle and he looked once more like the fifteen year old Gundam pilot of Wing. "We were hardly together on any mission... except by accident. I wasn't 'friendly' towards you when we were together. Why would you assume...?"

Heero looked around us and he was suddenly self conscious. He shrugged and began walking again. My fuzzy brain took a moment to get my legs going again. I was able to hear only the tail end of what Heero was muttering to himself. " - to be expected. You were always the fool, back then, always being 'friendly' to everyone."

Fool? I frowned, but I couldn't think clearly enough to really get angry. I felt more sad, actually. Yeah, I guess I had imagined a lot of things. Is that crazy? When you've got nothing but the burn for revenge in your belly, and no expectations for a future after you get it, why can't a person imagine something better, like having friends or that someone actually gives a damn about them? Sure, I carried it past the war and into my later life, but... I'm such a loser... "It wasn't just 'everyone'," I muttered. Heero's shoulders gave a small twitch, like I had thumped him between the shoulder blades and surprised him. He didn't say anything or turn to look at me though. I guess that was answer enough.

We reached the car. Getting in and sitting down was such a relief that I almost passed out. My legs were shaking and my hands weren't much better as I fumbled to put on my seat belt. Heero turned on the engine and it purred to life. He glanced over at me and I tried to look tired and bored, staring out of the window even though there was nothing to look at yet. "You shouldn't have come to work today," Heero said as he drove his car from the garage. "Quatre would have understood... I would have understood."

"Do you think the men would have understood?" I sniped back as I crossed arms over my chest tightly. "First day and, sorry, but your instructor was too much of a pussy to come in today."

"Duo...," Heero growled at my language and then surprisingly said, "I understand your reasoning, but I think that you may have stressed your health, so you must make certain that you don't over exert yourself tomorrow. "

"Looks like somebody gave the 'Perfect Soldier' some humanity. I wonder who he was?" I bit my lip hard. Yeah, I was 'thinking' that and it came out, just like that. Note to self: never take someone else's pills ever freakin' again! I was sunk. I was dog meat. Heero was going to burn my skin off with some choice words that would contain the phrase, 'Mind your own fucking business.' Scratch this car ride. Scratch any improvement over our 'relationship' that I had gained from my suicide run on the obstacle course.

Heero didn't say anything though. He was so quiet that I found my eyes closing, my thoughts turning to a mindless mush, and my head slowly coming to rest against the window next to me. Despite all of my resolve, I fell asleep, but not before Heero said something, in a whisper, something that I have to think he would only say if he supposed that I was already asleep. It tickled the tail end of my quickly disappearing consciousness.

"You did, Duo."

--------------------------------  
When I woke up again, I experienced one of those mind bending moments when you don't know what it is going on, not even a little bit. I was staring at the gently whirling blades of a ceiling fan and a whitewashed, bead board ceiling. 'Mine', some small mental voice offered. My home. Okay, if that was true then... I tried to sit up abruptly, remembering the car ride, remembering Heero talking, remembering... I went flat on my back again without having moved more than an inch as the room spun.

"Don't get up," Heero's voice said unnecessarily. I swiveled my eyes until I found him. He was walking over to me, his tie loosened and his jacket was off and draped over the back of a chair. He looked like a school kid in his white shirt and I almost expected him to say that I was late for class.

I tried to say something, but my mouth felt like it was full of cotton balls. "Drink!" I croaked.

Heero nodded and went to the small refrigerator. He opened it and peered about. "You don't have any chilled water."

"Soda!" I managed. He looked over at me from the small kitchenette disapprovingly, but then shrugged and brought a can over to me. I popped it open gratefully and lifted myself up enough to take a good, long swig. Making an "Ahhh!" sound afterward, I shakily handed the can back to him and he placed it nearby on a side table.

"What did you take?" Heero asked.

I winced. "If you don't lecture me, I'll tell you. " My voice was back even though my tongue still felt swollen. I felt the mussy after effects of the drug still in my system, but I wasn't as mentally incapacitated as before. I could actually THINK about what I was going to say. When Heero just stared at me, I sighed. "Okay, it was a prescription for back pain. Our secretary gave them to me. My head really hurt... "

"What was the drug called?" Heero asked and I knew that he wanted to know in case there was a need for a doctor. I told him and he considered it as if he had an encyclopedia of drugs and drug interactions in his head. I bet you that he did. He nodded after a moment and said, "Your blood pressure was low when I brought you in here, but it's since become normal. I checked your pupils and took your pulse rate. When I concluded that you would recover on your own, I decided not to call the paramedics."

I grunted, "Thanks, wouldn't want to give those guys another episode of our soap opera."

Hero frowned and came closer, looking down at me. "Are you being sarcastic?" he wondered. "Do you want me to call a doctor?"

"No! That's the last thing that I want!" I retorted. "My stay in the hospital was enough to last me for awhile. You did good. We're tough Gundam pilots. A little drug daze is nothing compared to a full Oz interrogation, right."

Heero looked... well, like I had just thrown a stinking corpse between us. He suddenly crossed his strong arms over his chest and turned away as if contemplating the beach outside of the open window. Good going, Maxwell! I swore at myself and tried to recover.

"Uh, sorry about that," I managed lamely. "Didn't know that you didn't want to talk about... you know... the war. Quatre's the same way. He gets all cold looking, like he would love to tell his security detail to kick my ass. I promise, I won't bring it up again."

"That isn't a problem for me," Heero replied. "I consider the war to have been an achievement to be proud of."

"Oh, well, then, what..." I was confused. I rubbed at my head, hoping that it wasn't going to start aching again. Right now, it was still numb, but I could feel the potential there.

Heero didn't say anything and then, very slowly, picking over his words, he replied, "That mission, when you were captured, when they hurt you so badly... It was my every intention to silence you."

I thought that I knew what he was talking about, so I replied, trying to make it a joke to lighten his mood, "Guess shooting me is like shooting kittens, people fall for the big eyes every time."

He whirled and looked... pissed? Upset? Sad? It was just indescribable. Maybe it was a lot of things rolled into one. "You held out your arms and you told me to go ahead. You said that it was fate."

I pushed my bangs out of my eyes and thought that over. "Uh, I don't remember it exactly like that. I think I was joking." I thought about it. "Maybe I wasn't... I was pretty banged up."

Heero put hands in his pockets and just stood there. At last, when the silence was becoming uncomfortable and I almost nodded off again, he said, "I didn't shoot you because..." he just stopped and flushed.

"Why?" I prompted, interest bringing me sharply back into focus.

"I thought that you were serious, that you were that dedicated to the cause," Heero admitted, but I had the odd feeling that he had changed what he'd been going to say. "I would have been a fool to eliminate someone as dedicated and as skilled as you were then. Saving you was the only course of action."

"So..." Yep, my head was starting to ache. Confusing heart to heart's was the last thing that I needed to be doing just then. "What's so upsetting then, Heero?"

"Isn't looking at you, and knowing that I had planned to kill you, would have killed you if I hadn't reconsidered, a reason to be upset?" Heero walked around the small room, picking things up and then setting them down. He wasn't really seeing them, so I wasn't thinking about the 'snooping through my things' aspect of it. "I don't want to think about that," Heero added finally.

"I can live with not talking about the war," I replied. "That's why I don't hang around other soldiers too much. I don't want to talk about it either. So..." I shifted, trying to sit up again. "Let's talk about something else. Did you... what? Carry me in here? Did anyone SEE you?"

Heero switched tracks, which told me how much he really didn't want to talk about the last subject. I filed that away. It was so odd, that he was proud of his war record, that talking about it didn't bother him, yet talking about my foray into enemy hands did. It was perplexing and I was still too groggy to put it all together.

"No, no one was around," Heero told me. "There is nothing to be embarrassed about."

"No?" I sighed. "I took pills I shouldn't have and passed out on my work associate. I then had to be carried like a baby and put to bed. I think that's pretty damned embarrassing."

"Yes," Heero replied and his lips did a small twitch as if it had all been pleasant or funny to him. That confused me even more. I couldn't picture Heero liking to carry, or take care of, a dumb shit like me. Maybe he had a Florence Nightingale complex or something? Maybe he did get a kick out of taking care of my sorry ass... Okay, so I'm still drugged. Thinking things like that pretty much confirmed it.

"You can go, if you want," I said. "I can take care of myself. "

"Hn," that oh so expressive grunt, that I knew so well, came from Heero. It could mean anything, but I knew right then that it meant, 'You're full of shit'  
The sun was going down in shattering shades of yellow and orange. "What are you going to do?" I wondered. "Stare at me all night?"

"Just until the drugs leave your system," Heero replied absently as he picked up a piece of gear that I had taken from my Gundam before I had destroyed it. A last memento of my buddy Deathscythe. It always choked me up, holding that bit of history. I had killed with that machine, but it had been the highest, most important point of my life. I knew that I wasn't ever going to stand at that kind of pinnacle again.

"I didn't keep anything of Wing," Heero said, as if he were talking about toast or the paint job on the wall. I knew better. Even someone like him couldn't feel NOTHING about those machines.

"It was a temptation," I said softly, "To make it all go away. I'm glad that I resisted the urge. I have a few other things that I kept."

"You do?" He turned to me, curious, and it was then that he showed me the face he probably showed to those people who liked him. It was open, relaxed, and... I didn't want it to go away. I smiled and tried my hardest to stay focused and keep the 'smart ass Duo' under lock and key.

"Want to see?" I asked and he actually, 'brightened'. There wasn't any other word for it. It was then that I realized that he was feeling the same thing that I was. Heero, too, knew that our time in the war was unparalleled and not to be repeated. I think he craved that revisit to glory as much as I did. We couldn't forget the deaths and the destruction that we had caused, that was ever present, but we could ease that by remembering all the lives that we had saved and the colonists that we had kept free of Oz control. "There's a box in the drawer over there. " I pointed to the dresser. "Top, right. " I smiled as he searched, enjoying his eagerness. This was much better than watching him pace like a caged tiger until he deemed that I was fit to be on my own.

Heero had the box in his hands and he brought it over to me. I boldly patted the blanket beside me, "Sit down, man!" I said and he gingerly sat on the edge of the mattress.

I took the top off the box and dumped everything out into my lap. Heero's hands were immediately into the pile, pulling things out as eagerly as a kid with candy. He still had that very reserved expression on his face, but he couldn't keep his eyes from sparkling with his excitement. I couldn't keep from staring at him and I did just that while he sifted through my, no, our, past.

I had newspaper clippings, a few clips of newscasts, showing us at different speeches and ceremonies. I had my medal. Heero touched it reverently and then put it aside. There was a doodle pad showing several things that I had expressed during the war, some of it not flattering to the other guys, a lot of it not flattering to Dr. G. Heero closed it after seeing a small cartoon of Deathscythe having 'relations' with the good doctor. There were notes, a few letters from Quatre, things that I had saved from my time with the others during missions. I had a small knife from Wu Fei with his family dragon crest on it. He had given that to me after our rescue from an Oz prison; an acknowledgement that we had nearly died together. There were several ticket stubs from Trowa's circus and a handbill, marking the time that I had gone there with Hilde. I had never been to one before and I had wanted to remember it. There was a picture of Trowa as a clown inside the handbill. There was also a scarf embroidered with a complicated design. That marked the time that I had spent with Quatre hiding out in the desert. He had given it to me so that I could wear it to keep the sand out of my nose and hair.

Heero looked at each item, at the still photos, at the bits and pieces of the war that I had gathered, and then asked after I had stopped explaining it all to him, "They all gave you something that you could keep. I see that I wasn't able to do that or that we weren't together long enough for you to wish to remember it."

Well, wasn't that a kick in the gut? I was struggling for something to say. Even if I hadn't been flat footed by the words, I think that I would have been stunned by the emotion behind them. He was trying not to show any, of course, and he gathered everything back into the box and went to put it away just to cover it up, but I could see it plainly that Heero was disappointed... could I even think 'hurt' by his being left out? I wanted to shout, 'I only needed one thing, and that was you, and I knew that I couldn't have it!' and that frantic thought led to the one thing that was as close as I had gotten to having what I had wanted. The vid clip. It was in the same drawer where I had kept the box. Heero had missed it the first time, but a second... That was just asking for too much luck.

I was right. Heero started to put the box back, his expression of disappointment raw for me to see despite his efforts to hide it, but he paused and reached into the drawer. He pulled out the vid clip and then turned to me to ask if it was something from the war that he had missed. It looked old. My constant turning it on had worn the button smooth of the name of the clip There was just an H and an e visible. Heero wasn't a stupid man. A lame excuse wasn't going to cut it.

"Heero, " I began, bracing myself, for what, I didn't know. "I have to tell you something... I..."

"This is of me?" Heero asked and then looked calmer, relieved even. I might even go so far as to say amused. "Probably of me in some humorous pose or situation like in your notepads? I can understand if you don't want me to look at it. My dedication did annoy you. It makes sense that you had wanted to"  
"Heero," I said quickly, cutting him off. "Uh, it's not that at all. I was just... I wanted to... Oh, hell! Just turn the damned thing on."

Heero looked at me curiously and then his finger slid to the on button. When his picture sprang to life, he stared at it in the palm of his hand. I forgot to breathe.


	10. Knowing You

Tin Soldiers Chapter 10:

Knowing You

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence.

Tin Soldiers Series Sequel to Unmasked

Knowing You

So, Heero was staring at his image, a frozen moment in time of a fifteen year old terrorist who, for once, wasn't looking like the cold blooded killer he had been then. "You took this," Heero asked at last, eyes not leaving the image.

"Yes," I replied, glad that he wasn't at my throat, yet. Next came, 'why', of course, so I decided to plow onward, "You saw that I wanted to remember things, that I wanted a memento?"

"You didn't capture the images of the other pilots," Heero pointed out, short circuiting my lame excuse. "Just mine."

I swallowed hard.

"You've looked at it often," Heero noted, looking at the worn button.

"Yes." If my voice were any smaller it would have been nonexistent. I had a fleeting plan of pretending to pass out. I did feel like it, actually, and it wasn't just the residue of the pills in my system.

I waited. He continued to stare at his image and his jaw looked very tight, his blue eyes full of... something... whatever it was, it made them almost glow.  
I couldn't stand the tension any longer. I blurted out, "Aren't you going to ask why?"

"I know why," Heero replied and, very slowly, almost reluctantly, he pulled a vid clip from his pants pocket. It was older than mine, one of the flat, button like, low resolution types. Heero held it in his free hand and turned it on. My jaw dropped. An image of me, grinning and wearing my old priest outfit, sprang into view. I was on Howard's ship, that time after I had rescued Heero from that Oz hospital and he had been trying to repair his damaged Gundam. The ocean and some metal railing was a blur behind my image.

"I took it so that I could do a background search on you," Heero explained. "I transferred it to this clip device afterward."

I asked the question he hadn't, completely mystified, "Why?"

Heero put the images side by side and studied them. "We were together such a short time, but... I wanted to remember you. You seemed..." he blushed and his shoulders tensed. He struggled to speak and then said, "Before I met you, I had firmly believed that certain things were necessary to be a good soldier. I had been taught to be totally dedicated, to not question, and to give up all hope of a life other than being an extension of my superiors." He paused, perhaps deciding whether to go on or not. I kept silent, willing him to go on. My 'psychic' powers must have had some effect. Heero continued haltingly, "My life had been like living in darkness without hope or knowledge of anything else. When I met you, it was like being shown a light. You turned some of the things that I had been taught on it's head. You..." He stopped again. I wanted to scream at him, 'Go on, dammit!' He did, but only after some thought. "I felt that, if I remembered what you had been like, If I could emulate you somehow, learn from your example, then, after the war, I could perhaps climb out of the darkness all together and find a normal life."

"So... I was an inspiration to you?" I was dumbfounded. I couldn't wrap my head around it. When Heero nodded, I ran my hands over my face and almost pinched myself to make sure that I was really awake.

"I guess it was a big shock when you thought your 'inspiration' was whoring and being a party animal, right?" I stung myself with the words and saw Heero tense and become uncomfortable. I knew what ground I was standing on suddenly and it wasn't what I had expected at all. "Guess I made you reevaluate just how good my happy go lucky lifestyle was."

"No," Heero replied quietly and then turned both vid clips off. "I wondered what had happened to take you into the darkness that you had helped me to escape. I was self destructive in the war, because I knew that the end of my mission meant the end of me. I didn't have any other purpose. You showed me that a person could be a soldier, a killer, and have terrible things happen to them, and still come out smiling and hopeful for the future. I wondered what had killed your hope and made you self destructive."

"You have such a colorful way of putting things," I said and sighed despondently. "You should write poetry. Simple fact, I didn't fall from the 'light' into the 'darkness', as you so nicely put it,... I just got damned lonely." I turned my face away and stared at a crack in the wall.

Heero stared at me and then he said, almost apologetically, "You took a vid shot of me because you thought that we had been friends and you wanted to remember that. It's nearly the same reason only..."

"That's not it at all!" I snapped and then, okay, so I was tired of this dance, this game, this damned heartache. Let him beat the hell out of me, let him hate me, let him laugh. I don't know whether it was the drugs or my own hard bitten, 'don't give a damn' attitude that was at the core of me, the attitude that had 'inspired' him, but I was done, well done, and getting burned. "I took it because you were looking so damned good just then and... happy... and I... I wanted something that I could have, because I knew that I could never have you! I took it Heero, because I was... am... in love with you."

I wasn't looking at him when I spouted all of this. I was staring very hard at my hands twisted in my blanket. I waited... and waited... and then... There was a double clink and clatter and then the door banged open. By the time that I raised my eyes, Heero was gone. What the!

Geez! I blinked, stunned. Why would he... I levered myself off the bed, still feeling shaky from the drugs and my confusion., intending to go after him, catch him before he reached his car... if that was where he was running too. My foot stepped on a vid clip. I awkwardly hopped to keep from crushing it and that threw me off balance. I ended up sitting on the floor and picking both vid clips up. Okay, in retrospect, I had done a very stupid thing. You don't have to tell me so, okay? Heero had idolized my free spirit and maybe he had expected something of the same sort from me about him. I guess spouting out that I loved him had really shocked him. For some reason, I think if he had just decked me or even laughed at me, I would have felt better than... well,... THIS.

"Everything all right?"

I blinked at my neighbor who was standing in my doorway and looking unsure of his welcome. I couldn't think of anything to say. He stepped inside cautiously. He was wearing nothing but a bathing suit and looked as if he had just come from swimming in the surf. He smelled like suntan oil and salt water.

"That guy..." He ran a hand through what was left of his gray hair. "He didn't hurt you, did he? I saw him carry you in here, but he was looking worried about you, so I thought that it was okay." He forced a chuckle. "I thought maybe you two had knocked off early from work and you had downed a beer too many." His chuckle died when he didn't get a reaction from me. "Come on, Duo. Did he hurt you or not?"

"Yeah, I guess he did," I mumbled, but then when he started, added, "We kind of had a... misunderstanding. He thought it was better to just leave, I guess."

"I see," Romie said slowly as I trailed off and I wondered if he did. "Why don't I help you up?"

"Okay," I said and sounded... lost. Romie put a hand under my arm and gingerly helped me up. When I swayed, he looked even more concerned. "The bed?" When I nodded, he helped me get there. I stretched out and just stared blankly. Romie stared back and asked, "Need a doctor?"

"No, he didn't hit me," I told him, "Just sucker punched my mind, that's all."

"Ah," Romie nodded and then cocked his head at me. "Want a drink?"

"Sure." I watched him dig through my refrigerator and pull out two sodas. He came and handed me one. I popped the top open and then just sat there holding it. He must need a better explanation of why I was finding it hard to walk, I thought, but he didn't say anything about it. I have to give him points for that. He had seemed like a 'nosy neighbor' type.

"You know," Romie said at last, after a few swigs of soda, "Gay guys aren't much different from regular ones. We'll all high tail it from men and women when the 'S' word comes up."

"S word?" I blinked at him.

Romie looked uncomfortable and paced as he explained, "Serious... Guys just don't like to get serious." It was an offer of comfort, an offer to lend an understanding ear if I needed it, but I shrugged.

"I don't know what the hell happened," I growled and was suddenly angry. Screw Heero anyway! If he couldn't at least stay long enough to give me some sort of reaction, if he had to run off like I had the plague... yeah, just screw him! Romie took my rejection in stride. He waved his can of soda at the beach.

"I'm having a party tomorrow night. You're welcome to come. Sometimes, it's best just to pick yourself up and forget about your troubles."

I hadn't forgotten them since the war, I doubted that I was going to forget them because of a party. I almost turned my anger on Romie, pissed that he was trying to 'be there' for me when he didn't even know what was going on or anything about me. I wasn't going to tell him either. It hurt too damned much. It was a ball of hurt with spikes.

"Sounds good," I muttered.

"You don't look so good," Romie said, giving up the 'buddy' act at last and deciding it was time for a grandfatherly one instead. "Maybe I should hang out here while you rest?"

"No, I'm good," I replied and then rethought that. I wasn't going to be stupid about it. I knew I WASN'T good. "Why don't you let me sleep for awhile and then come back around to check on me in a few hours?" I suggested.

Romie brightened. I suspect that he was eager to get out of that situation, of trying to comfort a gay man rejected by another gay man when he had probably thought he was just checking up on someone who might have been in physical trouble. "Sure thing," he replied. "If you need anything before then, just ring the local line. Mine's 334. I'll get you anything you need, okay?" He started heading out the door, but then turned and said earnestly. "Don't forget about the party. There's more than one fish in the sea."

I wanted to throw my soda at him, but he was already gone. Of all the cornball things to say. My anger wrapped around me and burned for a good long time and then, it couldn't cover up my real feelings any longer. I curled on my side and couldn't stop the utter misery from tearing my heart into pieces.  
What had I really expected? I couldn't tell you. All I knew was that I had carried that secret in my chest for too many years and... I guess I had done a quick, 'gnaw off my leg to save the rest of me' stunt. I had gotten it over with, going in head first and shouting a battle cry, just like I had during the war. Well, I had almost died a few times for pulling stunts like that one, but it had never felt like this, like such complete defeat. Maybe this was the darkness Heero had been talking about, the feeling of not having any future, of not caring what happened next, of having no one and nothing to look forward too. Heero had been my 'inspiration' to keep on living a life. I guess he had been right about that after all. Now that he had taken that away... what was left? What was there to hope for when I had pinned everything on a fantasy, on believing that Heero Yuy might care about me, might one day... But that was all gone. He had run away, whether in anger, disgust, or... well, fill in the blank, it just didn't matter. 'Love you, too' hadn't been said, or even, 'That's okay, we can still be friends.' It was over, over for a lot of things.

I curled up and pulled the blanket over me, ignoring the fact that it was too hot for that. I just wanted to hide. I wallowed in my misery, but I didn't cry. It would have been nice to say that I was too much of a man for that, but I think I was just too numb, too shell shocked. My entire being was centered on, 'What am I going to do in the morning?'

I took a cab the next day, my gut clenched around a poor attempt at breakfast. I tried to get into a war mind set. It was a mission: Go into work and forget that I had ever told Heero Yuy that I loved him. I was fully ready to resign, even had a letter of resignation I had printed out in my satchel, but I knew it was very possible that I would run into Mr. Hundred Yard Dash before then. Quatre would question me, demand several weeks to replace me, get highly pissed when I refused to answer the 'why' of the whole thing, and then sign off in the end, because I knew that I wasn't going to back down. I could not work with Heero, not now, not ever again. He had crushed my dream, and, yeah, my heart, too, dammit! I wasn't going to wait around while he crushed the rest of me. If I left now, I might actually be able to live a relatively hollow life from this point forward. If I stayed... I really didn't want to think about what that kind of daily hurt would do to me, would maybe MAKE me do after awhile.

So, I ended up sitting at a boardroom table, feeling small and lost in an expensive leather chair, and ignoring the curious looks of anyone who passed by the open door and saw me sitting there. Quatre took his time. Well, he's a busy man and I'm sure his secretary didn't inform him that a heart broken employee was close to tears in his boardroom. "Well, at least it isn't of me this time," Quatre said in his beautiful voice from over my shoulder. I jumped, my pencil making a thick line on my doodle pad. I tried reflexively covering over the sketch, but he added, "That's Heero, isn't it, having his eyes pecked out by seagulls... and being eaten alive by... crabs?" I mumbled something and closed the pad. "What's this about, Duo?" he asked seriously.

I looked down at the cover of my pad and strangled the urge to start another doodle. I was nervous, embarrassed, and not sure how I was going to justify my decision without revealing the cause behind it. To start, I slid my resignation towards him.

Quatre settled in the chair next to me. His golden head bent and his blue eyes looked thoughtful as he read the paper. He smelled like some exotic Arabian spice and he was dressed in a baby blue and silver gray suit. They had a soothing effect on my nerves. When his eyes raised to me at last, full of concern, he didn't ask me 'why', he told me, "You and Heero are two of the most dense and pig-headed people that I know."

I blinked and grunted, "Huh."

Quatre sighed and dropped the resignation letter onto the highly polished table top. He steepled his fingers, sat back in his chair, and regarded me. "When it comes to war, training, and operations, you two are the definition of 'genius', but put you in a room together... Trowa warned me that this wouldn't be easy"  
"Look, Quatre," I replied defensively, "I'm a professional, you know that. I may fool around a lot, but when it comes to my work, I don't let anything distract me from doing my best. Heero and me... we just don't get along. We're like oil and water. We gave it a try. The experiment was a failure. I'm sorry you have to replace me, but it's the right decision. We can't take care of business when we're at each other's throats."

"Duo," Quatre sat up, looking concerned. "Have you been fighting?"

"No, just not getting along," I replied dejectedly. "He just..." What to say that didn't sound like my heart was a shattered mess? I really couldn't think of anything.

"Heero didn't come into work today," Quatre said, hand pressing down on the resignation letter as if he wanted to cover up what it said.

That hit me broadside. Heero Yuy NOT working? Had the sun not come up? Had hell frozen over? Had I been dreaming all of this time? I pinched myself. "Ow!" Yeah, I was awake, awake and damned confused. "Why... What did he say was the reason?"

"He didn't say anything," Quatre told me. "He just did not come in. When I called, his answering machine picked up the line."

I felt a jolt of worry. What if... Okay, I couldn't begin to imagine a situation that Heero couldn't handle. "When he left my place-"

Quatre jumped on that, interrupting, "You saw him this morning?"

"Yesterday," I told him thoughtfully and then felt guilty. Stupid, right? Guilty that I had made Heero so mad, so upset that he hadn't come into work... or maybe I was thinking too much of myself. Maybe it didn't have to do with me at all. "Can I have his address? I should go check on him, don't you think?"

Quatre smiled and it was soft and far too wise. I was suddenly very suspicious.

"You know something," I accused.

Quatre shrugged. "I know something that is plain to everyone, but you and Heero, it seems." He kept smiling like a damned Mona Lisa, completely enigmatic. "As to where Heero is or what he is doing now? That, I don't know. I think that you should go and find out. Consider it a mission."

"Quatre...," I sighed. "If you say it that way, then I have to tell you... I pissed him off yesterday. I might not be the best person to look for him. "

"But you want to go?" Quatre asked pointedly.

I hesitated, wondering about it. I did want to go and I struggled to explain why to myself more than to Quatre. "I guess I like sticking my head in the lion's mouth and seeing if it gets bit off. Maybe I should join Trowa in the circus and become a lion tamer?" I said and then frowned, thinking that Quatre wouldn't understand what I was talking about.

"Maybe you just think it's a lion?" Quatre wondered gently and I stared at him owlishly. He patted my hand and stood up, holding my resignation. "The mission is still yours, if you want it. Report back to me only after you've found him and talked to him."

"All right," I replied.

Quatre sighed and said, "Duo, sometimes you just have to believe and stop doubting what you know."

"What do I know?" I wondered. Quatre was being worse than some mystic on a mountain top and he could see that he wasn't getting through to me.

"Duo," Quatre replied in exasperation, "That man, the one that you always bought hot dogs from outside of Preventer Headquarters... Do you think that he liked you?"

I was completely confused now, but I nodded and couldn't help a fond smirk. "Yeah, he did. He sounded like an asshole, but... yeah."

"How did you know?" Quatre persisted.

I rubbed the back of my neck, thinking about it, and then replied, "Well, if you looked real close, you could see it in his eyes. Most people are like that. You can't really hide the way you feel about someone."

"Unless the person you're hiding your feelings from never looks hard enough," Quatre pointed out. He gave me a blue eyed, knowing look, and then he was gone, off to another meeting with someone else.

I sat in my chair and tried to sort it all out. I'm not THAT stupid. Quatre was trying to tell me that Heero didn't hate me, and that I was making assumptions that he thought were wrong. I wondered why he was so damned sure about it. I was the one who had spent the most time with Heero, not him. If anyone could evaluate Heero Yuy correctly, it was me. Quatre hadn't been there when Heero had run out of my house. He hadn't seen... well... I hadn't either. I had pretty much stuck my head in the sand while I had said my piece yesterday and I hadn't seen how Heero had taken it. Running away seemed a good indicator, but... shit! I really didn't know, did I? I guess finding him was going to be the real moment of truth. When he told me to fuck off and die, I could report back to Quatre that he didn't know shit about nothing.

I looked down and saw that I had been doodling again. I'm sure Quatre had seen it too. On the cover of my notepad, I had drawn a heart being blown to bits by a beam cannon.


	11. Can It Be?

Tin Soldiers Chapter 11:Can It Be? 

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence.

* * *

Lyrics by Celine Dion,song:I'm Alive

Tin Soldier Series  
Sequel to Knowing You

Can It Be?

When you call on me  
When I hear you breathe  
I get wings to fly  
I feel that I'm alive.

When you look at me  
I can touch the sky.  
I know that I'm alive.

The music came from the radio of the car that I had taken from the motor pool. Well, it WAS official business, wasn't it, sanctioned by Quatre Winner? Why the hell not? It was a sleek black car and it maneuvered in and out of traffic with ease so I had time to listen to that song and the words... Ever hear a song that just summed up everything you had kept locked deep down inside, that pulled it out and laid it bare in the sun, and made you look at it? Well, this was the one that did it to me. I found myself rubbing at my eyes. They kept burning and I kept swallowing hard, trying not to... Shit! I was going to be a basket case before I ever reached Heero. I flipped off the radio and stared at the traffic, feeling that I was making one big mistake going after the man myself.

When I was finally standing in front of Heero's door, I wasn't much better. It was almost a relief to knock and not get an answer... almost, and then I began to really worry. Shooting a look around, I felt pretty sure that no one was watching me. After examining the door, I smirked. Stupid lock. I lifted the door by shoving up on the knob, and then shoved sideways. The old jam jiggled and then the bolt slid out of a worn down groove. The door opened and I shook my head, wondering why Heero hadn't changed the locks to something more secure. I guess that we were both beginning to forget our soldier paranoia.

The furniture had the same tropical motif as mine and, like mine, had probably come with the place. I couldn't imagine Heero willingly picking out pastel decor. I found the bed rumpled and saw that there was food sitting out on a coffee table, uneaten. Next to the plate of food, I saw a sheaf of photos and clippings. All of them had photos of me on them from after the war. What the...!

I checked Heero's messages. There were two from Quatre and one from some other organization wanting info sent to them. When I found Heero's car keys on the kitchen counter, as if he had flung them there, I really started to worry. I have to admit right here that I suddenly thought some pretty dark stuff. I found myself looking nervously for suicide notes or plans to get rid of me permanently. I was glad when I didn't find any.

There was also nothing to show me where Heero might have gone. I decided, then, to leave a note and begin a search of the surrounding area. I mulled over what to say and then scribbled, 'Quatre wanted to know why you hadn't come into work, so he sent me to check on you. Call my number when you get back in.' It sounded impersonal enough and didn't reveal any of my inner turmoil. It wasn't until I was halfway back to my place, that I realized that I had asked Heero to call me, not headquarters or Quatre. Damn! That's all he needed, to feel that I was now stalking him! I almost considered going back for the note and then mentally kicked myself. It was too late and I was really getting myself too worked up about the whole situation.

I decided on some casual clothes. I wasn't about to search for Heero in the tropical heat wearing my office duds. I pulled into my place and changed into some cut off jean shorts, a tank top, and some sandals. I then decided to start my search by checking all of the little tiki hut bars that lined the beach.

I headed out, glad that it was early. There weren't very many people on the beach and most of them were catching some morning waves with their surfboards. The bars were always open, selling mostly alcohol, but also things that could marginally pass as breakfast food. There were already some stool warmers in position having morning bloody marys and orange juice screwdrivers, their warped sense of logic leading them to believe that those type of drinks were better for them.

Did I really expect Heero to be knocking back a few? No, not really. It was more likely that he had left his car keys because someone had picked him up and taken him somewhere. Still, a good agent searches every nook and cranny and I wasn't about to start fishing far afield before I had checked all of the places close by Heero's home. Walking the distance between my place and his would ensure that I covered a lot of possibilities, however slim.

"Hey, you little fuck!" A voice shouted behind me.

I turned and saw Mr. Adonis striding towards me. He was wet, his hair slicked back, and he had a surfboard under his arm. He let it drop to the sand as he advanced on me.

"You don't have Bad Ass with you this time!" he continued. "We got some unfinished business."

"Really?" I sighed in irritation. "If by 'unfinished business' you mean the fact that I didn't get to kick your ass from here to the moon the first time, I guess you're right."

"Like you could," he sneered. "I outweigh you. Come along nice and I won't make it too hard on you."

"You really think you have a chance, don't you?" I wondered in amazement.

He was just too damned arrogant to take my warnings to heart. When my fists plowed into him and I whirled around and landed a kick into his balls, he went down, writhing and crying on the sand. I looked towards the nearest tiki bar, the bartender watching us with wide eyes.

"Call security and have him arrested," I told the man. "My name is Agent Duo Maxwell. I'll press charges for attempted rape later."

The man nodded shakily and began to punch buttons on a vid phone. I looked down at surfer boy and then tisked. He wasn't going anywhere for awhile. "Don't even think about running," I told him, just to be certain, "because I can find you."

I turned then, brushing my hands together because I felt that touching him had made them dirty, and started to continue on down the beach. I stopped abruptly. Heero was standing not a few paces from me in his black suit, barefoot, and face unreadable.

"It seems that you were very capable of handling him yourself," Heero said in a very stiff, reserved voice. "Very professional."

"Uh, thanks," I managed to reply, though I'm not sure how. I was pretty much stunned.

"You're not at work," he said.

"Neither are you," I replied, and then it was a staring game. I finally ended it by telling him, "Quatre sent me to look for you."

Heero suddenly looked like a damned wild animal ready to bolt. He had this god awful look of, 'I screwed up', 'I'm worthless', 'I hate myself', and 'I'm embarrassed', all rolled into one. The last thing that I wanted was for him to run again.

"It's my fault," I blurted out. "I shouldn't have said all that stuff to you yesterday. Calm down an let's talk about it, okay? You can even punch me if you want to."

That seemed to act like a 'slap across the face of a hysterical man' for Heero. He started and then took a deep, steadying breath. He shoved hands into his pockets, glanced at the confused man at the tiki bar who was watching us, and then stepped around Adonis and began walking down the beach. I had the feeling that he wanted me to follow and I scrambled after him.

I fell into step beside Heero. Even barefoot, he had a military stride, but my legs were long and I kept up easily. I glanced sideways at him, wondering if he was going to say anything. I stifled the urge to rattle off at the mouth in my nervousness.

"I'm sorry," Heero said at last.

"Yeah?" Brilliant, Maxwell! I mentally kicked myself and added, "I guess it was a big shock to you. It's not like I let you know way back when we were in the war. You were expecting me to say... I dunno... that I respected you, or something, and then I go and tell you something like that..."

Okay, ball back in his court. I was sweating and it wasn't from the sun and the walk. Heero's jaw was very tight, his dark, blue eyes staring hard at the sand in front of his feet. Maybe he was opting to hit me. I wondered if I had any defense against a man who could bend steel with his hands.

"I'm not used to being surprised," Heero said. "I never expected... I didn't know how to react... what to think. I am a trained soldier. I thought it was best that I go immediately and evaluate the situation before-"

"Before you caved in my head?" I interjected helpfully. I felt suddenly angry. "You're gay too, Heero. The thought of a guy saying what I did to another guy can't be that terrible to you, can it? Or is it just because it came from me, that you can't handle it? I thought you idolized me... or at least my way of dealing with life, so... what's the big deal, huh? Why don't you just say, 'Not in a million years, Maxwell', and we'll forget about it?"

"That easily?" Heero wondered and I sensed a land mine.

"Uh, well, for you," I told him honestly. "Not for me. I get my heart broken and I have to try and..."

"Get over it?" Heero supplied and again I sensed another land mine.

I decided to be truthful. I let out a gusting breath and said, "No, I don't think I can get over it, Heero, and that's why I gave Quatre my resignation. I'll go back to the Preventer's and you can train the men yourself."

"We wouldn't be able to work together anyway, if we were a couple," Heero said.

"No, I guess not," I replied as I rubbed the sweat from my forehead. " 'Course, we could have worked different shifts and made sure that we didn't command the men at the same time on assignments."

Heero nodded and then asked, "How long have you known?"

I looked at him and couldn't sense any more land mines. The question was what it was. "Since the moment I saw you, Heero."

I winced, ready to duck a rock hard fist. Heero did tense, and that's why I thought a swing was coming my way, but he didn't throw one, instead, he said, "Me, too."

I stopped walking and so did he. Hands sunk into his pockets, Heero was hunched and even more tense, waiting... for rejection?

"You dumbass!" I growled and he turned his head to look over his shoulder at me. "Why didn't you... Why did you... How could you let me think...," I couldn't get out a coherent sentence because my mind had turned into gel, overloaded with confusion, shock, and something huge that I was trying not to release until I knew for sure, knew without a doubt that there wasn't a misunderstanding. "What do you mean, 'You, too?'"

"I didn't think that someone like you could ever... love me," Heero replied. "I never hoped, even though I couldn't stop wanting to be with you since the first moment that I saw you. You were bright, funny, and beautiful and everyone liked you. I was a killer, a soldier to the core, and I never thought that I would ever be any different. I didn't have anything to offer you then. I wasn't a person anyone could love." He turned completely and faced me. "When you told me yesterday, that you loved me... I thought you were joking. I was so upset... and then shocked and confused when I realized that you weren't joking. When you are suddenly handed something that you wanted more than anything in the world, and it was something that you thought that you would ever get, it can be..."

"Traumatizing," I finished, in a daze. It was exactly how I was feeling right then. If the Earth had dropped out from under my feet, or the sun gone supernova, I don't think I would have been any more stunned, any more shell shocked than to find out that the person that I loved, the person that I had never thought in a million years I could have, loved me back.

"Have I ruined things?" Heero asked cautiously. "You called me an asshole..."

"'Cuz you let me twist in the breeze all this time, wanting you, loving you, while I thought you hated me!" I retorted, but there wasn't any anger in what I was saying. I think there was hurt, but that was going away to be replaced by... "What now?" I asked.

"We should talk," Heero suggested.

"My place?" I offered.

"Why not mine?" Heero replied.

I nodded to where my bungalow was peeking out from behind the palm trees. "Because you've been walking towards it all this time."

Heero looked embarrassed, uncertain.

"Come on!" I told him and dared to hook an arm through his as I pulled him up the beach. He let me guide him meekly and it felt damned good touching him, feeling the huge wall that had been between us just disappear as if it had never been there.

I saw Romie coming from his bungalow. He arched an eyebrow at me and I shook my head emphatically. He winked and went on his way as I lead Heero into my home and never actually shut the door. It swung on its hinges as Heero suddenly grabbed hold of me and showered me with kisses.

"Heero?" I said around his warm lips.

"Is it all right?" he asked breathlessly and I looked into his eyes and damn, if I didn't see exactly what Quatre had been talking about. It wasn't just lust there. Heero wasn't groping me and wanting a quickie. What I saw was love that was so strong that it was like a tidal wave crashing in to me, making my knees weak and my heart hammer in my chest. It was true! Heero Yuy really loved me! That love was overwhelming him. Now that he knew that I loved him too, he couldn't hold back the emotions that he had kept caged all of those long years... and I suddenly couldn't either.

My hands were all over him, smoothing over every inch of Heero that I had wanted to touch for so long. I pushed him back into a chair and he sat down as I crawled into his lap and grinned, my hands busy loosening his tie. His big hands gripped my ass as if it were the Holy Grail and he pulled me against him, face full of wonder and awe at what was happening. We both suddenly froze like that, staring into each other's eyes, both of us knowing that our lives had just changed drastically and that we were about to fulfill every dream that we had ever had about each other.

"Love you," I said and my voice was hoarse, so full of emotion that I could barely control it. "I'm doing this because I love you." I didn't want him to ever doubt that, to think that he was another Filmore. He knew what I was saying.

"Filmore is a liar," Heero breathed almost in my ear and his warm breath tickled me. "Once I discovered that, I had Sally Po transfer him to Antarctica station for a year of duty. She agreed with my suggestion whole heartedly. Please, don't ever bring his name into our lives again. He nearly destroyed us."

'Us'. It made me shiver when Heero said that. You might think we were moving kind of fast, but, hell, it had been freakin' years! We weren't kids! We knew what we wanted! We now knew how we felt about each other. We had lost a lot of time. We didn't intend to waste any more.

I kissed him deep, delved my tongue past his lips, and gave Heero the best kiss I knew how. He fell into it as if he were going to faint. I felt his rock hard erection spring up beneath me. My own was pressed up against his belly. Slipping a hand between us, he felt it and then moaned as if he were going to lose his mind. I captured that moan with my mouth and moaned back when he roughly massaged me.

Before I knew it, Heero had picked me up. I straddled his waist and his erection as he kicked the door closed and then carried me to the bed. My back hit the mattress and he landed on top of me. Was he experienced? Would he be careful? Would there be pain? Those questions didn't even enter my head. All I could think was that I wanted him now... and maybe there was some fear that I had to take it while I could get it. There was still a part of me that was chalking everything up to a very good dream.

My hand hit the side table as I groped for it. Heero had inched me fully onto the bed, rolling me this way and that as his hands and lips did an erotic dance all over me. I fumbled inside of a drawer and found lube and condoms. There was a temptation not to reveal them, a fear that Heero would think that I had been entertaining other people, but, when I decided that my health and comfort was pretty damned important if we were going to have a relationship, I pulled them out. Heero didn't seem to have any thoughts on the matter at all as I freed his erection from his pants, prepared him, and gave him a wild hand job at the same time. It was long enough to make him cry out and short enough not to let him come.

God, he was so-

"You are so beautiful!" Heero breathed as we hastily began to undress.

"Handsome," I corrected in mock indignation as I lifted my legs up.

He kissed each knee and said, "No, beautiful."

I made a face. He rolled me onto my shoulder blades, curling me underneath him as he bent to kiss me on the lips. My expression turned from indignant to passionate as I nuzzled his neck and smelled his cologne. His skin was like silk and his muscles rippled against me as he maneuvered into position. I was in Heaven, Nirvana, the Pleasure Dome, in his arms; the arms that I had longed to be in more than anything in the world.

"Duo?" He looked deep into my eyes, the sun washing over us both from the open window. "I... I've always wanted this, wished for it, but... I don't want you to think..."

I smoothed a hand along his cheek and smiled. "Say it."

I could see the emotion gathering up within Heero like a volcano about to explode. When he uttered the words, "I love you. I want this because I love you.", they were full of that emotion, making them so powerful that I shuddered in reaction and felt as if they had burned their way straight into my heart. He meant them. He wasn't handing me a line. He wasn't a Filmore ready to happen again. Heero really did love me.

The words of that song, that I had heard in my car, came back to me, and as I said, "I love you too.", and Heero slowly pushed his erection into me, unable to wait any longer, those words carried me up to a new level of feeling that I had never reached before. Heero's tenderness, his gentleness as he moved above me, and the song weaving through my mind, made it, not just hurried, hot sex, but a confirmation, a revelation, a realization that though we had waited years to reach this point, this moment didn't contain any regrets. It was a beginning, one I knew that neither of us would ever forget.

"When you call on me, when I hear you breathe, I get wings to fly," I whispered to Heero as sensations crashed through me, pleasure emanating from the point where we were joined and had become one. It didn't seem stupid to say it and I didn't feel any embarrassment as he looked down at me in astonishment wrapped up in his love and passion.

"When you look at me, I can touch the sky, I know that I'm alive," Heero breathed back around a moan. He knew the song. I felt a thrill shock through me. It had said something to us both. It was us, having hidden away from each other for so long, not living, really, until this moment when we were at last complete. "I'll be the one, standing by through good and through trying times, "Heero said between a rain of hot kisses on my face.

I gave him a long, deep kiss in return, broke it, and said softly, "It's only just begun. I can't wait for the rest of my life."

Heero moaned as if those lyrics were a spur to his passion. His hips began to thrust in earnest and he bowed low and pressed his face against the pulse in my neck as he came. He shouted, convulsed, and, as his erection pulsed and twitched inside of me, I came too, letting out a tremendous shout as the world seemed to shatter as wave on wave of pleasure coursed through me.

We lay wrapped around each other afterwards, a salty breeze cooling the sweat on our bodies. Our clothes were half on and half off, my hair was a tangled mess escaping it's braid, and we were both grinning like idiots.

"We are so freakin' sappy!" I groaned, my ear pressed against Heero's still hammering heart. "I won't tell anyone, if you don't."

Heero chuckled. It rumbled against my check and his hand tried to smooth down the escaping tendrils of my hair. "I don't care what anyone thinks, love." He was trying that word 'love' out and I knew it was for the first time.

My heart swelled and I felt tears behind my eyes. Yeah, get me a dress and put nail polish on me now, I don't care either. Now I can see why they write those kinds of songs, and the poetry that I had always thought so damned awful, suddenly clicked and made perfect sense. Maybe I should write my own? "Ode to Shinigami and the Perfect Soldier," I whispered with a small laugh.

"Writing your own love song now?" Heero wondered, amused.

"Maybe," I replied jokingly.

"Leave it to others," Heero replied and pulled me down to hold me again. "What do two soldiers know about lyrics?"

I quirked a smile at him and hugged him tight. "You just have to know about love, Heero, and we soldiers know all about that, don't we?"

He kissed me and smiled, his heart in his eyes. "Yes, yes we do."

As I settled happily against him, I thought about how far we had been forced to come to get to this point, all the variables, all the seeming coincidences, and realized that there had been one driving force behind it all, Quatre Winner. Somehow, he had known that two lonely men had needed, not just new jobs and new lives, but the one thing that they had both been lacking and needing so desperately: each other.

"Quatre the matchmaker," I said thoughtfully.

"Yes," Heero replied with a gentle, fond smile, understanding. "We'll have to thank him."

My hands wandered over Heero, as I felt passion and love rise again, and I said with a wicked smile, "Later, much later..."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:Epilogue by Kracken 

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warnings: Male/Male sex, graphic, language, violence.

Epilogue

"Do you want me to kiss it and make it better, Maxwell?! Get your men in position!"

"Fuck you, Yuy! Let's see you take a two inch piece of shrapnel in the knee and keep on walking!"

"Stop crying and just do it!"

"Nobody's crying here but you!"

There are times I want to strangle that man. Heero doesn't give a break to anybody and he wasn't about to start with me. Not that I was going to swoon or anything stupid like that, but, shit, a man's going to limp when his knee's been impaled by a piece of a bomb, especially when that man has to run up a sharp incline of ground and take a fortified rebel outpost in the middle of a range of rocky hills. Rocky, freezing, rain drenched hills. I think you can cut me some slack, right?

I instinctively ducked when our target lobbed another bomb at us. It went wide, the stiff wind carrying it to our right, and it exploded off to one side of the hill we were mounting, showering us with small bits of debris. My men didn't break pace and I was proud of them. I didn't feel nearly so brave, especially when machine gun fire splattered all around us.

"Where the hell is our air support?" I shouted at the comlink curled around my face. "They were supposed to soften the target up!"

Heero's voice sounded worried, "Weather conditions are too uncertain. They won't chance it. I asked to scrub the mission, but the chatter indicates the targets are preparing to bug out into space. We won't get another chance planetside"

"Why not just blow the fuckers up once they launch?" I demanded. "I'm risking my men here! This charging up the hill is freakin' medieval shit! They should be able to blast a fly off their asses with a beam cannon half way across the world!"

"They want these men alive if possible. They are part of a wider conspiracy," Heero explained. "You were told that at the briefing."

"I didn't know that the weather would dump ice and rain down our backs and that we wouldn't have air support then," I snarled back. "I think this plan stopped being viable as soon as that happened!"

"Can it!" Heero snarled back. "Are you in position yet?"

I wanted to shout some damned colorful words back at my lover, but I refrained. My job was to get the bad guy and keep my men alive, not start questioning my orders and Heero in the thick of things. They needed to have confidence in what they were doing. The pain of my leg, the miserable weather, and the growing danger of the mission had made me momentarily forget that.

I wiped my rain drenched bangs out of my face and squinted through special binoculars at the pile of rocks ahead of us. Stone ant nest, was my first impression. It was a bunker set deep in the rocks and it was filled with gun sites and men ready to bite our asses dead. Mist and cold rain made visibility almost nil, but that could work in our favor.

"Report!" Heero demanded.

"In position!" I snapped back. "Got any ideas what to do now? Unless you have one big assed can opener, that metal bunker looks pretty damned secure."

Heero chuckled. He has a way of doing it that sounds just evil. "Everyone has to breathe," he replied and I understood what he meant instantly and that what he was suggesting was as close to suicide as you can get.

"Where do you want me?" I asked promptly.

So, Heero walked me through it and I soon found myself in a lightning storm, my men a quarter mile back and hunkered down, and myself and Heero squatting on top of a big, metal building trying to pry off an access panel. Can you say, 'lightning rod'? Two of our men were waiting at the base of the building, bristled with weapons and watching our backs while we feverishly worked.

I could tell you how many men I quietly killed to get us where we were, and how close we had come to detection and getting our heads blown off, but you gotta realize that getting to the top of a fortified bunker wasn't a cakewalk, right? So, I'll just say we made it and everyone was in one piece... so far. We had taken out some surveillance cameras. It was only a matter of time before someone stopped thinking the weather had blown them out and send some troops to check on it.

Do I think about not getting out of a situation like that? Do I wonder what madness possessed me to follow Heero's orders? Do I wish I was stretched out on my warm beach outside my home again? Hell, yes, but we had been chosen to be Gundam pilots for a reason and one of those reasons was that we would risk our lives for the mission and do it without hesitation. You can psychoanalyze it anyway you want it. It's not like my life wasn't important to me, it's just that I was aware of the bigger picture and I knew, sometimes, that one guy could make all the difference, had to make the difference, if everyone else was going to be free and safe. So, yeah, I bitched and moaned to myself, but my hands didn't stop handing Heero tools and I didn't stop what I was doing to look around and wonder where a bullet with my name on it was going to come from.

"Nice outfit, Heero." I couldn't resist. As I shoved sopping wet bangs out of my eyes, I briefly looked up to Heero's deep blue eyes looking back, before we both looked down again to continue working.

"It's a thermal suit," Heero told me almost primly and I couldn't help laughing. He turned defensive then. "It is standard issue and a lot warmer than what you're wearing!"

"It's a tight, black, body suit Heero," I pointed out. "Are all of your men wearing them?"

"Yes," Heero grumbled back at me. "They are weather proof. If you had been wearing one instead of that ragged flack jacket, you wouldn't be suffering now."

I snickered. "I just wish that we were in a better position for me to appreciate it more."

"Duo!" Heero growled, but I saw the corner of his lips tilt up.

"I know, get the hell back to work," I muttered and blew the water dripping off the end of my nose at him. He flinched, but continued working.

"Strong-arm it!" I exclaimed at last when I was sure that our efforts were taking too long. I impatiently dug my fingers into an edge Heero had managed to work up. When Heero joined my efforts, I knew that we would succeed. Heero is very strong and unstoppable when he puts his mind to something. That panel didn't stand a chance. With both of us heaving on it, the rivets popped and the panel gave up the ghost.

Setting the panel aside, Heero stuck a gauge down into the black hole that had been uncovered. Whatever was on the rain drenched, lighted dial, seemed to satisfy him, and he put the gauge away, clipping it back onto his belt. He then took the heavy panel, aimed it carefully, and then let it drop. There was an immediate sound of metal slamming into metal and the tortured sound of something breaking.

"Suppression bombs?" Heero asked and put out a hand. I carefully unwrapped several and very, very carefully put them into his hands. They were tricky explosives and not standard issue. I had made them myself. They were safe enough in their case, but once out in the open, the tiny detonator barbs had hair triggers. The flat space where a person was supposed to hold them, was barely wide enough for thumb and forefinger.

"Ready?" Heero asked.

I nodded. What else was I going to do?

Heero dropped the bombs, one at a time, and they fell into the darkness almost in slow motion. As the last one fell, Heero was moving, his arm snagging me around the waist and pulling me down onto the wet, freezing metal of the roof. I almost snarled at him. I wasn't some damned damsel in distress that he had to be protecting me, but the entire roof bucked and grew suddenly warm and it was all I could do to hang on and hope that it didn't collapse.

I wasn't aware that Heero had left me at first, but when I dazedly sat up, he was dropping other objects into the now smoking hole. "You planned this!" I accused.

"It was a scenario that I had discovered while training for the mission, so I made certain that I was prepared for it," Heero replied over the sound of groaning metal.

"Got company!" One of my men shouted. "Orders?!"

"Regroup with the main force!" I shouted. "Wait for orders there!"

"Yes, s-" His voice was cut off by the sound of gunfire. I flinched.

"Let's get out of here, Heero!" I demanded.

Heero nodded, once, and we scrambled over the roof away from the gunfire. The roof was quickly heating up. We had caused a fire and shut down the circulation fans. Our targets were going to have to evacuate or suffocate and burn. I didn't doubt that they would come out with every weapon blazing. We had to be with our forces before that happened and ready to nail them.

"Move, Maxwell!" Heero shouted. He was ahead of me, rain and now smoke obscuring everything. I began coughing violently and my knee was begging me to cut it out and stop torturing myself. I was manfully ignoring it, of course, and forcing it to bend as I scrambled after Heero. Well, you can only do so much of that before your body rebels.

I fell. Damned the roof was hot! Instinct had me trying to get up, trying to make that knee function, but it was swollen and the muscles were now shot. I didn't yell for Heero. When you go down in war, and something important needs doing, well, you grit your teeth and make the sacrifice. Heero would understand that. He wouldn't come back for me. He would do what needed to be done.

When Heero came out of the rain and smoke, grabbed me by the arm, and slung that arm across his shoulders to support me, I was stunned. "Move your damned ass!" Heero shouted furiously into my face. Who was I to argue. With him? He kept me off of my bad knee, and almost dragged me after him, as he hurried, as fast as my dead weight would allow him, for the edge of the building. I wondered, then, what our plan B was. Our climbing gear and our support were back where we had come from. The building was set in jagged rocks. Jumping down was hazardous to your health, and we were also heading straight for where I remembered a set of gun turrets being located.

"Heero?" I panted. "Did you run a scenario for this part too?"

Heero was quiet for a moment and then he replied truthfully, as if it stung his pride, "No."

I winced. "Then you're 'winging it'?"

Another pause and then, "Yes."

"All right!" I grinned. "Now you're in my territory! Let Shinigami lead. I'm an ace at spontaneous mission plans!"

Heero's returning grin was just as fierce as my own. He said, "I wouldn't think of following anyone else," but then he grew suddenly serious and he said, "Love you, okay?"

I felt a lump in my throat. "Love you too, Heero," I managed, but then firmed and became the soldier once more. "Let's do this, Captain."

"Orders, Captain Maxwell?" Heero responded promptly and the lump in my throat turned into a burning desire not to disappoint Heero. I was going to get us out of there.

We approached the gun turret. It was a stupid arrangement, an over hanging roof and the site window facing towards the craggy hills. There was a hatch for firing up at aircraft, but it was closed and the optic used for targeting was blinking that is was on, but it was unmoving.

"What are they doing, playing cards?" I wondered as we slowed our steps and tried to walk without making any telltale noises that the people below us could hear.

Heero grunted and replied, "They're most likely fighting the fire and trying to get air circulation back online. Aside from that emergency, I doubt that they are taking a handful of men attacking their position, with no air support, seriously. "

"I bet their command is getting ready to get the hell out of here though, using the bad weather to get away before it clears and air support mops the floor with them," I thought aloud. "Which means they'll be laying down cover fire when that happens."

"Underground platform," Heero replied with a nod. "If we lay down a charge before we go, we can jam their bay doors."

"You really know how to add more excitement to the mix!" I grinned, feeling a rush of adrenaline that made everything seem suddenly possible. "Let's do it."

We kept low and tried to stay under cover, but there wasn't much we could do. I didn't understand why we weren't being shot at as of yet. It made me suspicious, my soldier's senses warning me it was all just not right. You know what they always say, 'If it's too good to be true, it usually is'? In soldier land, accepting things at face value will get you dead real quick. What could we do about it though? Nothing really, except to keep doing our job. Some things you just had to let happen and then deal with it when it did. Heero always found that hard to do. He was finding it just as hard now. His eyes were doing a good imitation of a tennis game, going back and forth constantly, trying to see enough to spot some sort of danger, the danger we both knew was there.

When we reached the doors to the platform, we found our danger. Men were already laying charges there, but we both knew that it wasn't for blowing the doors, but for destroying the entire building. They intended not to leave any evidence behind. The platform bay doors were wide open and we could hear the sound of engines and machinery over the pounding hiss of rain as our targets prepared to lift off and leave us with a giant powder keg in our laps.

"Shit!" Heero swore and I had to agree.

I whipped out my cell phone and bent over to keep it under me and out of the rain as I quickly called our men. We had to get in there any way possible. This situation had to be stopped.

"Infiltrate!" I yelled into my phone. "They are laying explosives and bugging out. Concentrate on the platform bay and central command rooms."

How easy do you think it was to order that many men to their deaths? We had our orders. We had known what trying to carry them out might mean when we first accepted them. All of my men had. I knew that they would follow my orders now, whether they blamed me for it coming down to this or not. I didn't indulge in the guilt game. Now that I had ordered my men to give up their lives, I had to work quickly to try and save as many as I could.

"Take them out!" I yelled at Heero and he nodded as we both began opening fire on the men laying down the explosive charges. There were only three and they probably never knew what hit them. Killing always makes me damn sick, but when you consider that they had willingly joined an organization hell bent on slaughtering people for power, mustering sympathy or regret gets pretty hard.

The fastest way to stop someone from blowing a building up is to keep them from leaving. I sat on the soaking wet roof, my pain and exhaustion almost overwhelming me, and, with Heero's help, took the cover off of a manual control box. It was a bitch. The thing was locked down tight and needed a string of code. By the time we were done, my knee had stiffened and I was shaking with cold, but the doors to the platform clanged shut amid cries of consternation from below. My final act of mayhem was to set a program running, using the connections that the platform control box had with the main computer network. It was a virus that would have everything going haywire in a matter of minutes. Now, if they wanted to leave, they had to use the front door... that is, if they could get them open.

I laughed. People tell me that particular laugh sends chills up their spine. It was Shinigami through and through. Heero looked appreciative. I remembered how many civilian friends I had lost when they had heard the killer side of their 'funny' and 'good natured' friend. It made me lean and kiss Heero hard on the lips. He started, but returned it, just as quick and hard, and then he was hauling me up by one arm and we were making our way back to the gun turret.

With every step I silently thought up a swear word, each one growing progressively more foul as shocks of pain rifled up my leg from my injury and my body tried to turn itself inside out with shivering from the wet and cold. And, yeah, damned Heero was warm and cozy in that space age stretch suit of his. His hair was getting plastered and water was running over his face, but he was otherwise snuggled comfy and warm, and I really hated that. It was too much of a 'told you so' even though he didn't say a word. Duo Maxwell had opted for relaxed and cool, instead of military geek, and now I was going to suffer for it.

Lightning cracked over head and I flinched. Instinct told me to get the hell down from the roof and it was hard not to agree with it.

"Plan?" Heero prompted as he leaned to speak in my ear.

"Just follow me and fire your gun when you see the enemy," I told him with a wicked grin, knowing that it was bugging the hell out of him that we were now standing on the edge of the roof, watching the water cascading over the side, and he still didn't have a clue what I intended to do. Well, I didn't have a clue either. Surprised? No? Didn't think so.

Smoke. Okay, that was a plus. If the smoke was coming out, then someone had opened the gun hatches to let in air. I wondered if the men manning the guns were even at their posts. The roof was getting damned hot. I could see the rain steaming. There was definitely a fire close by. I had visions of the roof collapsing and both of us falling into a raging fire, but I locked that up pretty quick.

"Okay, over the side," I said. Heero blinked at me as if he wanted to question that decision, but then he grunted, knowing he didn't have any other option.

It was hard to see where we were going... okay, almost impossible. Pouring water, billowing smoke, almost zero visibility. When I swung over the side, some fickle god decided to make things even more interesting for me. Something jammed into my right hand. Scrabbling for a foothold, I chewed into my lower lip and watched as blood began pouring out from where I had a grip on the roof edge. Heero couldn't help me. He was already starting down, having found something to cling to, and I couldn't shout for him unless I wanted to give us away. Can I just say one thing here? This day SUCKS!

There! I found a place for my feet and hissed in relief as I was finally able to lift my hand. Someone had joined two pieces of metal roof together badly. It was the sharp edge that had cut me. The wound was deep and I didn't have time to take care of it. Clenching that hand into a fist, hoping to slow down the bleeding, I began, one handed and with water pouring down over my head, to attempt to shinny down a slick metal surface. Don't try this at home, kids.

How many times did I almost die in the space of two minutes? Let's NOT talk about it. I think the only thing that kept me from falling to a messy end on the rocks far below, was two of the guns sticking out into the rain, looking for targets. My feet landed on them hard, slid, and then found purchase just as I realized what I was standing on.  
Heart seizure doesn't adequately describe how I reacted.

You have to realize that I was literally blind. The water cascading off the roof onto my head, the choking smoke coming out of the building, and the darkly tinted shielding in front of my nose, didn't give me any clues as to who was behind those guns. When a hand reached out of a hatch and grabbed the front of my jacket, I naturally assumed it was an enemy.

Shinigami is nothing if not daring and quick. I let go of the wall, trusted that grip on my jacket to hold, and drew my gun on whoever it was point blank. I almost fired, actually tensing my finger on the trigger, when I heard Heero's voice snap, "It's Heero! Get the hell in here!"

I grinned and let him pull me in. My feet hit a metal surface and I blinked through smoke to see three men in oxygen masks sprawled every which way and Heero calmly regarding me.

"See?" I laughed. "My plan is working perfectly!"

Heero rolled his eyes expressively as he let go of me and went to the door. He put a hand on it, testing it for heat. He pulled it away and then looked at the men with new respect. "They didn't leave their posts. Dedicated."

"Dedicated killers," I growled. "If they put that kind of effort into good, everyone would be better off."

Heero only grunted. I know he was about to ask, 'What now?' but the floor took that moment to buck under our feet. We stumbled, regained our balance, and then looked at each other. "Could be our men," Heero suggested.

"Or it could be the fire reaching explosive equipment," I countered.

"Pessimist," Heero growled.

"Optimist," I growled back, but couldn't help smiling as I pulled out my cell phone. "Positions?" I asked.

"Inside the building!" a voice reported promptly and my grin widened. "Upper levels impassible." My grin faltered.

"Secure prisoners!" I called back, "and then get the hell out! Captain Yuy and I will join both divisions on the north ridge."

"Acknowledged."

"This won't look good on our report," I said to Heero as I pocketed my cell phone.

"Sloppy," Heero agreed. "But we couldn't anticipate that our air support would fail or that the fools would decide to stay inside a burning installation."

"Going down with the ship," I sighed and then walked to the hatches. I tore a strip from my undershirt and wrapped it about my hand tight. Satisfied that I might be able to use it, I tried not to think of our chances as I asked Heero simply, "Ready?"

"Yes," Heero replied grimly, knowing our chances too.

"Heero..." I started and then was afraid I would jinx us. No goodbyes. No crying. We were going to make it. I had to think that. I had to think it very hard.

Have I ever said that we had the best bunch of soldiers under our command that you'll find anywhere? Well, I'm saying it now. The heat was intense. The targets were bolting and laying down fire as they tried to escape. Our men had their hands full, yet they moped up in good order and even had time to climb up after a pair of ragged ex gundam pilots. They plucked us off the side of the building before we fell to our deaths. Would we have? Hell yes. Heero saw that I was in trouble right away and the damned man was hell bent on saving my ass even though there wasn't a way in hell of doing it. My hand gave out and I couldn't make my fingers work halfway down. My knee was in the same shape. When it came down to swinging like a monkey to get around some difficulties, I wasn't up to it.

So, thankfully, we were rescued. Yeah, it was embarrassing. We were captains. We were supposed to be in charge and have things handled. I had a feeling that none of the men blamed us and that we hadn't lost their respect, but it still hurt in the masculinity department. I was only glad that everything was completed before the transport vehicles showed up with reinforcements.

"Could have used you a couple of hours ago!" I grumbled to one of the drivers, but he shrugged and talked about sheets of ice on what passed for a road while the troops unloaded and deployed.

The captain in charge of the reinforcements took one look us and jerked a thumb towards the command vehicle. "You look like shit! Get in there and I'll clean up."

I'm glad he didn't say, 'take over'. I think I would have punched him. Heero didn't look too happy either. The captain wasn't above rubbing our noses in it the fact that we didn't have a clean operation, but I'll be damned if I'll let him insinuate that we hadn't done our damned jobs. Considering that everything had been against us, I think that we had done better than our best.

We climbed into the command vehicle. It was full of communications equipment, but the rest of its contents had me grinning. Posh, it wasn't , but to me it was nirvana. It had heat, a broad futon for commanders to take quick catnaps in operation lulls, and a coffee maker. Filthy, shaking with cold, wet, exhausted and covered in wounds, I limped to the coffee maker and poured me a cup. Heero helped me sit as I kept the cup balanced. I held it close to my face to simply luxuriate in the steam on my frozen skin.

Heero rummaged through a locker and pulled out blankets and a few spare commando jumpsuits. He locked the door to both the forward cab and the outside world of sleet , rain, and soldiers. "Get out of your wet things and I'll get the med kit."

"You, too," I replied with chattering teeth. He wasn't soaked like I was, but he was still wet everywhere his suit didn't cover. Heero only nodded as he went about his business of finding the med kit.

I didn't want to let go of my coffee, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good if I stayed like I was. Setting the cup reluctantly aside, I undressed stiffly, hissing at every ache and pain. There was a lot of blood. It was caked on my clothes and it was plastered to my skin. The knee... I bit my lip. It looked ugly.

Heero wrapped a blanket around me and I huddled in it as he sat on he floor and opened the med kit. He took out supplies, cleaned the wound on my knee out ruthlessly until I couldn't help whimpering, and then bound it up with bandages. He did the same to my hand and a few other places that I hadn't noticed. Done with that, he cleaned the blood off carefully and then handed me back my coffee.

I huddled under the blanket, sipping the hot liquid, and watched Heero begin taking care of himself. He stripped out of his suit and I stared at the rippling muscles of my lover appreciatively. When I saw that he was cut deeply and bruised in many places, I tried to get up and help him. He caught me before I fell. My knee was extremely swollen now , as was my hand, and they weren't going to be usable anytime soon.

"I can take care of myself," Heero assured me and I was forced to settle back and let him.

Once Heero was dry and patched up, he took up the jumpsuits and handed me one. "Ya know," I said huskily, weariness stealing over me as I put aside my empty coffee cup and reached out for him, "They always tell you, if you want to warm up fast, skin to skin is best."

Heero grunted. "You're falling asleep. If someone should come..." he was giving me a small smile though and climbing onto the narrow futon with me even as he spoke.

I yawned. "We did our part and we're resting. Nothing wrong with that," I replied and pulled Heero in under my blanket. We stretched out together and twined our wounded bodies together. It was wonderfully warm. I nuzzled against Heero's chest and listened to his heartbeat as I came down hard from my adrenalin high. I know Heero was experiencing the same thing. We shivered, our muscles trembling, and it didn't have to do with the cold any longer.

Heero's hands found my wet braid. He pushed it so that it draped away from us both and then he nuzzled my neck. The tension in his body told me what he wanted and, even though I knew that I was on the edge of passing out, I lifted my chin and let him kiss and nip at my sweat salted skin.

Don't ask me why that kind of adrenalin overload triggers sexual responses, but it does, big time. I guess it's because adrenalin makes a body climb a mountain of rushing blood and endorphines just like sex. It's a physical arousal that goes on and on and it's hard to accept an adrenalin equivalent of coitus interruptus by ignoring it.

When Heero's hand wrapped around my erection, my hand was already closing on his. We couldn't do much in the shape we were in, but hearing Heero groan, and feeling him shudder as I tormented the swollen flesh in my tight grasp, was enough to make me spurt hot come into his hand. When he lifted a finger and sucked on my essence there and then took my finger and joined it with his, making motions with his mouth as if he were giving both fingers head, I found myself pumping his erection in the same rhythm. He bucked in my grasp, and I ended up just making a tight sheathe for him as he fucked my hand. When he came, I watched his face flush red and contort in shear pleasure as he spurted through my fingers and onto my belly.

I was drained, literally, and so was Heero. We curled tighter, wrapping the blankets around us both, and knew that our bodies had finally stepped down from the mission and were ready to rest.

"What if they..." Heero began, but I shook my head, my mind already slipping past the point of caring.

"Let 'em find us together, who cares?" I said almost petulantly. "I wanna stay warm with you."

Heero's chest rumbled under my ear as he chuckled wearily and then settled down to rest as well. "I'm tired of being cold too. I'm not going to argue."

"Good," I mumbled.

Thoughts are weird when you're half asleep. You find very odd thoughts popping into your failing consciousness. I guess it was being so cold and near death, and then being so warm and safe with Heero, that made me think of all the circumstances that had stood in the way of our ever getting together. That train of thought narrowed down to one man who had been the most instrumental in keeping us apart and almost destroying our relationship before it could even begin. Filmore.

"Sleep," Heero ordered in a weary whisper against the top of my head.

"Filmore must be pretty damned cold where you sent him," I thought out loud. "After being so cold myself... I guess I can't help thinking about him. Maybe..." I yawned hugely and almost lost my train of thought. I found it again and finished as I slipped into deep sleep, "Maybe I should send him something?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A man wearily shouldered the straps of his sled and pulled the supplies along the frozen ground, the wind driving the snow against him harshly. The plane, a week late, had dumped the supplies at the drop point off center and it had scattered everywhere. After a long time spent gathering it all back up, and discouraging a few bears who took interest in some of the shattered ration containers, the man made the long trek back to the metal building sitting low in the middle of the featureless, frozen tundra.

Unloading his supplies inside the building, the man, finally, closed the door on the cold and retreated into the marginal warmth created by over taxed heaters and a makeshift stove. Sitting down wearily, he snagged a very small package from the heap of supplies, pulled off his gloves, and worked it open with frozen fingers.

Reports, requests, a few magazines, and... Filmore looked at the white envelope, puzzled. He hadn't received any personal mail in some time. There wasn't a return address. Opening it, he pulled out a picture. It was a beach scene, palm trees swaying and the sun shinning down on hot sands and sparkling on ocean waves. Center of the picture was Duo Maxwell, dressed in shorts and a tank top, and Heero Yuy, dressed in a surfer's wet suit from the waist down and bare from the waist up. Yuy was sporting a necklace of shark teeth and Maxwell was wearing several hair wraps and hemp bracelets. It all looked very tropical and exactly like the dreams that Filmore had been having of late. Hallucinations, a deeper part of his mind called them.

Filmore turned the picture over and saw the writing on the back. It read in large letters, 'Wish you were here... NOT!'

Filmore suddenly experienced his own kind of heat. He crumpled the picture in one fist and shouted furiously, his voice carried on the wind to the freezing waste land all around him, "Maxwell!!!"

The end


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13:Under The Sun by Kracken

Kracken

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of them.  
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence

Tin Soldiers

Under the Sun

"You're staring," I sighed, and Heero was, wide eyed and walking beside me like something had hit him in the middle of the forehead.

"Duo, what-?"

I've seen fish on a plate with eyes like that. It brought home to me just what a complete idiot I'd been the other day, that and the fact that I couldn't braid my hair in anything less than a three and a half foot long disaster. Why even call it a braid? It was just clumped together somewhere half way down and then left to it's own devices after that. We won't even get into the seven beaded cords that were decorating it and weighing it down along with the half pound of sea salt and tangled microbraids. I looked like a reject from a beach commune, one of those old time hippy artists that didn't know what shampoo and a bath were for. I certainly didn't look like I belonged in the black captain's uniform and tie I was wearing.

"Duo. We have a meeting, with important people. You can't-!" Heero was my lover, my baby, my everything, but he has hair you can run fingers through and have it look sexy and perfect. He doesn't have a clue, really he doesn't.

"I know," I replied shortly. "I'm sorry. There's nothing I could do. You were reviewing a new training facility all day yesterday and I decided to spend my day off at a beach party. I had a few too many drinks, let some giggly girls have their way with my hair, did some bad surfing, and... fell asleep without washing all of this crap out. Now... I'm kind of stuck with it. If you had come over after you got back home..."

Okay, that wasn't fair, so I shut up. This was not his fault or his problem...back up and delete that last. It was his problem. When one of his main captains is about to try and convince some military generals to give command of two crack forces over to us for a mission, you didn't want said captain to look like me. Quatre was going to kill me.

I climbed into Heero's car. He slowly got behind the wheel and started the engine, his eyes never leaving me.

"Heero," I growled. "If you're gonna yell, yell and get it over with!" I crossed my arms over my chest and slumped in my seat, eyes glaring out of the window at the rolling dunes leading to the beach. I felt like a little kid. A bad one. Of all the times to screw up. We were on the verge of moving in together, in the 'looking around for a place we both liked', stage. All I needed was for him to think I was an irresponsible idiot and to make him look like one too in front of important people.

Heero didn't yell, it really wasn't his style. He was more of the crush and pulverize, while glaring, type person."This was extremely bad timing," Heero began, but he didn't sound pissed. Instead, he sounded... I turned my head to look at him, not sure I should trust my ears. He was looking... I think I looked that way the first time that I saw him naked.

"You look..." Heero blushed. "Very handsome... very... If we didn't have to go into work, I think we would be going back to your bungalow."

I blinked, stunned. My brain tried to make sentences, but all it came up with was, 'Huh? Wha-? and nhuh?' So I kept quiet. His hand reached out and touched the mess of my hair and then caressed my cheek. It was my turn to get hot. Suddenly, he was on top of me and I was flailing and going down. His lips locked on mine and he groaned while his very strong hands began pulling at my clothes.

Hey, I'm young, and any chance to tango with Heero Yuy short circuited any common sense. I think anyone passing by was probably confused to see two feet, in dress shoes and socks, flailing in the front seat. We didn't go all the way, but it was close enough and just as thorough. We ended up sated, tangled up together like overheated pretzels, and feeling embarrassment and in pain from our cramped positions.

"Kleenex?" I struggled to say as Heero stuck an elbow in my gut as he tried to get off of me. He was hampered by a tight console and a stick shift. More grunting and struggling, and then we were separating and Heero was reaching under the seat. He pulled out a wad of kleenex and handed it to me.

"Pervert," I growled at him as I took them and started cleaning off, but his looked was so guilty and sheepish that I started laughing. Heero doesn't do either well.

"I..." Heero cleared his throat as he did up his pants. "I'm not sorry."

I laughed again. "I don't think I am either." I groaned as I unbent from my pretzel imitation and sat up. One old man was staring disapprovingly nearby , a little dog on a leash nosing about some beach grass. I waved with forced friendliness. "Uh, Heero, we should go. He's probably called the police."

Heero drove the car out of the parking lot and then he glanced at me and winced. "I don't think I... improved the situation."

"No shit!" I snorted as I tried to get my hair to at least stay behind my shoulders. Tendrils were escaping at every point.

"It's just that you look... very... native," Heero said hesitantly. "Natural... sexy... primal..."

I pulled up my pants and zipped over a renewing hard on. "You can stop now. Having a 'tent' and wild hair is really not going to inspire confidence in the meeting." I couldn't help smirking at him, though. "So, you have a thing for surfer boys?"

"Surfer men," Heero whispered under his breath, but was smiling too.

We pulled into headquarters and I felt like a sideshow freak as I walked down the secure halls and had every eye looking at me, at my hair, at my...

"Maxwell!" Wu Fei came out of nowhere and grabbed me by an elbow. He turned me away from the wide eyed men and women, looking furious and embarrassed as he whispered harshly, "I think that you need to change your clothing."

"My..." I looked down and turned eighteen shades of red, some, I was sure, had never been seen before. I think that I reached a whole new level of embarrassment. Okay, so I didn't get entirely cleaned up and Heero had managed to christen my pants.

"Locker room," I gritted out and Wu Fei and Heero were my cover as we hurried there.

We were late. Some God was on my side for once, though. My cell phone rang as I opened my locker and found a folded up pair of fatigue pants. It would have to do. I slipped out of my shoes and dropped my dirty pants while I fished out my cell and answered it.

"Duo?" Quatre's voice was both annoyed and anxious. He's a sweetheart, until you mess with his organized schedules. "First, you and Heero are late. What's your ETA?"

"We're here at headquarters, " I replied as I started to pull on my fatigues. "Just had a small accident and had to change pants."

The reason why was obvious to me, but it wasn't to Quatre. He let that go, though, and said, "The generals will be a half hour late, but I do expect you in the meeting room at that time."

"I'll be there," I replied.

"And Duo?" Quatre seethed.

"Yes?" What now?

"When you doodle, please don't do it on stat forms that I have to present to important people?" Quatre complained. "I don't think they would understand that you are only joking when you draw me being strangled by paperwork."

I was feeling five years old again, but I deserved it. "Sorry. We'll be at the meeting, don't worry."

"All right, Duo," Quatre said with a long suffering sigh and hung up.

I pushed my pants back down.

"Maxwell?" Wu Fei had reluctantly joined Quatre's organization. I'm sure I wasn't making him feel as if he'd made the right decision.

"Duo?" Heero looked just as confused.

"Meeting's been pushed back a half an hour," I told them. "I have time to shower and try to get this crap out of my hair."

"Shears would accomplish the task very easily," Wu Fei sniffed disdainfully.

"I'll try shampoo first," I shot back and grabbed a bottle of that and some heavy duty conditioner.

Hero helped me, god love him, but it was useless. We both pulled, separated, scrubbed, and tweezed at the stubborn strands of braided cord and hair. I ended up sitting, naked, on a bench, my hair strung out everywhere, and Heero and, surprisingly, Wu Fei trying to figure out how to at least make the mass look presentable.

"You are going to be my commanding officer on this mission," Wu Fei told me, "I will not be shamed in front of our men or at the meeting we have to attend."

Ah, I was a disgrace. My dishonor was his. Very medieval. "If you have any suggestions, beside cutting it off, I'm all ears," I growled back.

"This is a woman's hair," Wu Fei announced as he let his two handfuls of it drop. "Let women deal with it." He walked away purposefully.

I looked at Heero. "Any ideas?" He shook his head, no. I checked my watch. "We're running out of time.

"Hey, Maxwell!" a male voice laughed. "You look like a candy cane."

A shift was over and men were filling up the locker room.

"Shove it, Perkins!" I snarled and dropped a towel into my lap to cover at least some of my nakedness. I had been wearing a half shirt and knee length shorts most of the previous day. My red tan was banding with the pale skin that had been covered. Okay, so I did look like a candy cane. Screw him, anyway.

They laughed at my hair. I endured the usual ribbing

"I have a meeting in ten minutes!" I groused. "If you want ground support for this new mission, you better stop laughing and hope I look presentable by then."

That was serious business to them. The laughing stopped. I was surrounded. Heero suddenly had a lot of help untangling my hair. They talked behind my back and I sat uncomfortably as they tossed suggestions back and forth. My hair was stretched out wide to give them room.

"Someone get a camera!" A female voice laughed.

"Hey!" I pulled my towel up more closely and stared, wide eyed, as Wu Fei came into the locker room with several women. They joined the men and I felt things being poured onto my hair. They smelled like flowers and fruit.

"Don't worry, honey," an older woman reassured me. "I had a passing fling with a beauty salon before I decided to pick up a gun instead."

"Your hair is so thick," another woman complained. "I don't think this is going to work."

"It needs to soak," yet another woman suggested. "For hours."

"I have five minutes!" I complained loudly and stood up, dragging my towel around my narrow hips. I started to turn and then heard the last voice in the world that I wanted to hear just then.

"And this is the locker room," Quatre said. "We're having shift change right now so..."

He trailed off and I dared to look. Heero looked sick to his stomach beside me and that gave me fair warning. Three generals stood arrayed behind Quatre, making him look small and young. They were all taking in the sight of me, the supposed shining star of Quatre's force, the man they were supposed to trust to lead their men, with his hair filled with god knew what, almost naked, and surrounded by what, by now, looked like a frat party gone terribly wrong.

"I think I will go now," Wu Fei said in a strained voice. Everyone else took that as their cue to scatter. Only Heero was brave enough to stand with me. See why I love him?

"Tour?" I managed to ask, trying my best to look innocent... no, don't ask me why. It's my fall back defense.

"Yes," Quatre replied tightly. "That was why the meeting was pushed back. They asked to see the installation."

"Captain Maxwell?" One of the general's asked. He looked like something out of an old movie, brass on every point of his dress uniform, square jaw, squared off haircut, and a mean scar along his jaw line.

"Yyyeeees..." That sounded stupid. I winced and hunched into myself as I hitched up my towel. "Uh, this looks bad, doesn't it?"

"Yes," the general replied, but then he laughed. I blinked at him and then looked at Heero. He was as perplexed as I was. Maybe this was just a really bad dream.

"Lorimar?" One of the other generals asked, probably confused to.

The general wiped at an eye and then said, "I've read you record, in and out of the war, Captain Maxwell. I think someone with that many brilliant successes, is allowed a bad day... or some eccentricities."

"Bad day," I affirmed. "Some young girls and too much sun and beer."

The general laughed again. "Been young myself once. You serve hard, you play hard too."

I found a smile, Heero stopped looking like death, and Quatre remembered to breathe. He took a deep one, held it, and then let it out. "Captain Maxwell... if you could clean up and join us in the meeting room?"

"Yes, sir," I replied as formally as I could.

"Gentlemen?" Quatre motioned for the generals to proceed him back out of the locker room.

The general held up a clipboard without turning and yelled back, "Keep your damned doodling off my paperwork, though! Your beef against the requisitions master shouldn't be on my infiltration scenarios!"

"Yes, sir!" I called after him and then sat down heavily on the bench. Heero sat down beside me.

"Duo..."

"I know. Why say it?" I sighed. "I'm a screw up."

"Unconventional," Heero amended, "but still damned amazing at getting yourself out of impossible situations."

I grinned. So I wasn't going to have a cold bed and a hunt for a new boyfriend. I guess Heero was getting used to me and my... bad timing. Hey, I'm not going to chew myself up. I had enough people around me who wanted the job. I was just glad... very glad... that Heero wasn't one of them.

"I need to rinse this stuff out. " I stood up again and headed for the shower.

"Wait!" Heero called after me and I stopped and looked over my shoulder. Heero looked uncertain, but determined as he said, "Since they've already seen it... and everything seems to be all right. Could you leave the braids and the beads in... at least until tonight?"

You gotta love him. I know I do. 


End file.
